Steven Universe Review: "An Indirect Kiss" (Season 1A, Episode 24)


“Just today, you were crying about snakes!” “They don’t have any arms!” – Steven and Pearl, engaging in riveting conversation about the tragedy of snake biology.

AirdateSeptember 18th, 2014

Written By: Raven Molisee and Paul Villeco.

Plot: Steven and Connie have come a long way from almost drowning together. Now, they have a pic-a-nic together. Thing is, Steven’s undergoing a bit of an emotional malaise. Also, there’s a fence by the lighthouse where they are having the pic-a-nic. Steven notes that the two are connected, but that the story ends sadly.

Apparently, Steven and Amethyst were horsing around on the edge. One thing led to another, and Amethyst fell off the edge, onto her gem. It cracks, causing her eye to dilate. Thus, Pearl requested, and presumably constructed, a fence up by the cliff.

OK, that’s not a sad ending. Connie inquires about the rest, and Steven finally cracks.

Apparently, Rose used to have tears that healed Gems. Unfortunately, Steven can’t muster up the tears readily. To fix Amethyst’s gem (lest she be permanently damaged), they go for plan B. (And no, it’s not moving the town 5 miles down the road.) The quartet wind up at Rose’s fountain, which apparently has magical healing abilities. Unfortunately, the entire fountain is overgrown, driving Pearl to the brink of insanity. And Steven still can’t muster up the tears. An internal crisis ensues.


This episode marks the second part of Steven Universe’s first five-part arc – one that fleshes out the Crystal Gems, Steven’s role in the dynamic, and everybody’s backstory. This time, we get a look at how Steven feels about the legacy he feels like he has to live up to. What follows is a very impressive episode – one filled with introspection and brilliance. Continue reading


Steven Universe Review: "Monster Buddies" (Season 1A, Episode 23)

Looks like the Centipeetle literally has a rock. But can it inspire her? All we know is that it feels no pain.

Airdate: September 8th, 2014

Plot: Steven gets another pet! This time, it’s a pet that tried to kill him.

Yeah, remember the first episode, where Steven tried to beat the Centipeetles with Cookie Cat Ice Cream? Well, this time, he winds up accidentally un-bubbling one of them – the mother, in fact – and letting them regenerate. Against Pearl’s wishes, Garnet decides to let Steven domesticate her. That proves to be difficult, what with her spitting acid and all that. Oh, and it seems to have a hatred against the Crystal Gems.

Review: “Steven and the Stevens” explored Steven’s role in the Crystal Gem dynamic by temporarily removing him from anybody but himself, and noting how they bounce off of each other on a comic level. Now, “Monster Buddies” shows him and the trio engage in something of a division within the ranks – one where the personalities clash on a dramatic level. Continue reading

Steven Universe Review: "Steven and the Stevens" (Season 1A, Episode 22)


Go on, guess who the drummer is! Here’s a hint – it’s not Ringo Starr.


Airdate: September 4th, 2014

Plot: While on a rather silly mission, Steven comes into possession of “the Glass of Time” – which allows him to, well, control time. His original plans for his Beachapalooza performance scuttled due to an issue with his dad’s business, he decides to merely copy himself thrice over, forming the eponymous band. When appointed as the leader, however, conflict breaks out between the four Stevens.

Review: “Steven and the Stevens” is another episode that, while at first glance appears disconnected to the rest of the show, actually makes up for its canon-lightness. In this case, we have an episode that takes a look at the Crystal Gem character dynamic, as well as how Steven bounces off of everybody else in the show. Oh, and how power corrupts and all that. Continue reading

Steven Universe Review: "Joking Victim" (Season 1A, Episode 21)


“Sorry, the sign on the side of the store states that The Big Donut is not liable if you start breathing fire. Your lawsuit is dismissed.”

Airdate: August 21st, 2014

Plot: Steven’s attempts to chase down some fire salt fries (thanks, Amethyst) with soda lead to a mess at the Big Donut. Lars shirks his responsibilities via a “back injury”, and Sadie gives him the day off. Steven, therefore, is appointed as a temporary Lars, and even manages to do a better job at the Big Donut. Still, Sadie can’t just fire him – the two have something of a relationship.

To try and cheer Lars up, the two bring donuts to his house, only to catch him on the trampoline with the Cool Kids. A distraught Sadie reveals that this may not have been the first time this has happened, and vows revenge. Cue the fire salt donut. The consequences are really heated… as pictured above.

Review (SPOILERS): At first glance, this episode has such little a point as to it’s existence, it’s probably a sphere. However, a closer look does damage to that hypothesis. Yes, this episode is a “canon-light” one – an episode that does not have a whole lot of bearing in terms of major plot development. The episode isn’t completely disposable, however – it fleshes out characters, and introduces a theme that will become a major one in season 2. In fact, dare I say, it’s probably the most overlooked episode of the show’s canon. Continue reading

Steven Universe Review: "Coach Steven" (Season 1A, Episode 20)


You’ve messed with Sugilite for the last time! Prepare! For! GLOBNAR!!!!

Airdate: August 21st, 2014

Plot: A Gem communication hub is causing bursts of electromagnetic interference. The effects? As Garnet puts it, “it’s hurting television”. Rather than one of Pearl’s strategic moves, Garnet instead opts to use raw power.

“Amethyst, fuse with me.”

Enter Sugilite. Built, arrogant and boisterous, she becomes reckless in her destruction of the hub. This doesn’t deter Steven, who suddenly wants to become macho, buff, full of muscle. Hell, he even recruits others (Lars, Sadie, Greg) to join him in his quest to become built. Pearl, though, is driven up the wall because of this.

Review (SPOILERS): First, no, I don’t really listen to Nikki Minaj’s music. I could not care less about it. I’ll stick with the Pet Shop Boys and whatever’s playing on WBAB and WLIX, thank you very much. She does a rather good job in voice acting, though.

Now that my disclaimer is out of the way…

There’s a lot of irony in the title of this episode. Despite the title indicating that this will focus on Steven, instead, we get what might be the very first “Pearl Pathos” episode – an episode revolving around fleshing out Pearl beyond her neurotic exterior. That helps combine with a bit of social analysis to create what might be the standout episode from Season 1A. Continue reading

Steven Universe Review: "Rose’s Room" (Season 1A, Episode 19)


Steven’s gonna have a whale of a time with this room. I am the duke of bad puns.


Airdate: May 14th, 2014

Plot: It is a pretty bad night for Steven. First, the Gems can’t go mini-golfing with him because they have a mission. Then, his attempts to play video games are interrupted with the trio’s post-mission idiocy. Irritated, he wishes for things to go his way for once – a wish that opens up Rose’s Room. In effect a holodeck, Rose’s room can generate whatever Steven wishes for. Unfortunately, the effects can often be… dangerous.

Review: “Better Than Life” is my favorite episode of Red Dwarf. The episode features the trio’s exploits in the titular Total Immersion Videogame. However, it winds up rooting itself in self-generated psychological terror on Rimmer’s part, with his sweetest dreams turning into nightmares. He goes from being a respected, opulent real admiral to a married, bankrupt piece of ant chow, and he drags down the rest of the Red Dwarf gang with him. Needless to say, I died laughing… and brought more Red Dwarf episodes on iTunes.

Speaking of which, “Rose’s Room”. It takes a similar path. Except with less comedy. And very more emotional overtones (which, considering that the Red Dwarf episode involved Rimmer learning that his abusive father died before Arnie suffered radiation poisoning, is a rather hard feat.) Continue reading

Scullyfied Simpsons: "Homer to the Max" (Season 10, Episode 13)


Airdate: February 7th, 1999

Plot: One of the midseason shows, Police Cops, features an Ace-type detective named Homer Simpson. This gives Homer a burst of popularity because of the similar names. However, a retool turns the detective into a lout, turning Homer into the joke of the town. After a plea to the executives falls less than flat, he finally decides to sue them. After that court case is thrown out, he asks for a name change to Max Power. With that name, he gains the attention of the A-List in Springfield.

Review (SPOILERS): Can television characters become deeply ingrained in our national psyche? Of course. Can it get to the point where it affects the lives of people with similar names? Likely. This is the topic that the episode was trying to take on, I think. Unfortunately, it’s execution is quite a bit wonky, leading to a rather silly third act conclusion. Continue reading

Steven Universe Review: "Beach Party" (Season 1A, Episode 18)

Ah, to have the drive to play volleyball… or any sports.

Airdate: April 30th, 2014

Plot: An attempt to destroy a pufferfish results in Garnet crashing into the roof of Fish Stew Pizza. With the trio walking away from the situation, Kofi Pizza (the owner) tells Steven that the trio are not welcome in the shop. Steven tries to patch things up by inviting the Pizza family to a picnic near the Temple. There, we see a bit of a clash between the two sides, drowning out possible underlying similarities… and any potential pufferfishes.

Review: Well, after the dense boringness of “Sunday, Cruddy Sunday”, I’m watching a more straightforward episode with a more down to earth plot… in a show revolving around alien rock people. (Congratulations, modern Simpsons – you are denser and more removed from reality than a cartoon on Cartoon Network. Says a lot, doesn’t it.)

The most notable aspect of “Beach Party” is the fact that fans often tend to overlook this episode. It’s not as “disliked” as “Onion Trade” is – they just tend to skip over it in discussions. While I can see why they tend to overlook it, I actually think that this episode isn’t simply an episode thrown together to fill the season. Continue reading