Steven Universe Review: “Tiger Philanthropist” (Season 4, Episode 18)

“It’s like the sequel nobody wanted!” – Lars. Look, I made a “Saddlesore Galactica” reference in my last review, so…

Airdate: March 3rd, 2017

Written By: Lamar Abrams and Katie Mitroff

Plot: Amethyst hangs up her belt and departs her wrestling career at the height of her power. With that, the tag team of Purple Puma and Tiger Millionaire appears to be no more. This comes to the dismay of one Lars Barriga, a mega-fan of Tiger Millionaire. Disillusioned at the fact that he upset his sorta-friend, Steven steps back into the ring as one Tiger Philanthropist. But does it appeal to the dismayed fan? Here’s a hint – no.

Review:

Well, I’ll be damned. Are we watching Steven Universe on… something of a cold streak?

Alright, that’s hyperbolic, and it’s not unprecedented. After all, “Restaurant Wars” and “The New Lars” were two low points in three episodes and that was back in Season 3. And Season 1A featured the series trying to find its feet. But I have to be honest… I think we’re in a possible low-point here. The show’s overally plot feels like it’s stalled in favor of rather light bits that feel redundants, potential threads are currently being left on the table, “Rocknaldo” was too annoying to enjoy… and this episode isn’t particularly hot, itself. “Tiger Philanthropist” is somewhat mediocre in execution. There are some mildly interesting elements when it comes to meta-commentary on characterization, but overall, it’s a rather milquetoast episode of a show that, to my eyes, rarely felt as such.

And it’s kind of odd. Because while this episode is better than several others, it also hits that weird spot. A bad episode, I can possibly tear to shreds and dissect where it comes short. And even though Steven Universe‘s bad episodes aren’t “enjoyably bad” the way other notoriously bad episodes of other shows are, they still merit quite a bit of discussion in how they fall short of the high standards this series sets.

This time around, I don’t have much to say. “Tiger Philanthropist” exists. It aired, I watched it, and now it’s time for me to review it. I guess.

And I will admit that a second viewing did make this episode somewhat more interesting. Somewhat. It’s still not what I would consider a particularly “good” Steven Universe episode, but it’s interesting enough.

Steven Universe Review: “Gem Heist” (Season 4, Episode 12)

“We won’t stand out if we play the roles we’re made for.” – Sapphire. Easier said than done, Sapphie.

Airdate: January 31st, 2017

Written By: Hillary Florido and Jesse Zuke (credited as Lauren Zuke)

Plot: The Crystal Gems have made it to the Gem Zoo. Unfortunately, an obstacle comes up in the form of heavy guards. Ergo, the gang have to betray their philosophies and identities in order to get Steven into the zoo. What follows is a tour, lead by a highly pompous Holly Blue Agate.

Review:

The Heist. A classic caper trope, it revolves around a group of people – often anti-heroic figures of some degree – committing an act of elaborate subterfuge. Sometimes the aim is money, sometimes the aim is information, and sometimes it’s just revenge. Sometimes the participants are skilled thieves, sometimes they’re everymen, and so on and so forth. And examples are numerous, spanning across every genre and medium possible.

For instance, let’s take a look at Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. It was a game I spent a lot of time with this past spring (you know, when everything got shut down the first time around), and it has one of the most fun storylines that I’ve ever experienced. In one part of the game, while working with the San Andreas Triad gang, protagonist Carl Johnson is tasked with crafting a heist against a rival casino. To do so, he must gain the trust of the rival casino’s boss – the leader of the local Italian Mafia – while simultaneously making preparations to craft a robbery incognito. It’s a very amusing and engaging plot thread, a brilliant tribute to Ocean’s Eleven, and it culminates in one of the more satisfying missions in any video game that I’ve ever played.

I bring this up because “Gem Heist” also deals with an incognito heist scenario. In part three of the five-part Out of this World arc, our heroes have to break into a Gem Zoo to rescue Steven’s dad. Ironically, while the heists and capers are probably the most thrilling part of Grand Theft Auto, “Gem Heist” is rather low-key in the grand scheme of this series. But can it still shine through as an understated classic?

Steven Universe Review: “Future Boy Zoltron” (Season 4, Episode 5)

“A fortune-telling machine – this should be good for a laugh.” – Mr. Frowney, probably quoting the moment that conceived “Future Boy Zoltron”.

Airdate: September 1st, 2016

Writers: Raven Molisee and Paul Villeco.

Plot: Steven accidentally breaks another one of Mr. Smiley’s attempts at securing sweet tourist dough – this time, it’s a fortune teller machine, Zoltron. In order to make the money back, Steven agrees to take the place of the machine. His tenure, however, comes to a head when he meets a rather morose man, and discovers a rather poignant connection he has with Mr. Smiley.

Review:

Yet again, Steven Universe has presented to me a conundrum…

…how the hell do you follow up on that?

Steven Universe has in its library of episodes many stone-cold classics. And it goes without saying, “Mindful Education” was a classic in every sense of the word. The show’s best song, some impressive animation, and fascinating character development all combined to create a beautiful symphony of animated television. Eleven minutes, not a moment wasted, it easily took a very high spot in my Steven Universe rankings, only kept from being higher by virtue of the show’s ability to deliver sheer knockouts at such a high rate.

The question then becomes “What next”? Sometimes, such brilliant episodes wind up as part of a streak of great-to-extraordinary episodes, as was the case with the end of Season 3. Most of the time, however, these outstanding episodes are followed up with episodes that range from “still pretty damn fine” to “somewhat underwhelming even compared to most other episodes” A brighter case of this involves “Open Book”, the cute little character piece between Steven and Connie… which was preceded by “Rose’s Scabbard”, a character piece involving Steven and Pearl which just so happens to be my favorite episode of the series. Less brilliantly, the brilliantly balanced “Sworn to the Sword” and heartwarming “The Answer” were each followed up by “Rising Tides/Crashing Skies” and “Steven’s Birthday”, respectively – two relatively mediocre episodes of the series.

Unfortunately, the pronounced swing is present here – in fact, it might be one of the larger quality swings from episode to episode out of this series. “Future Boy Zoltron” is one of the most boring Steven Universe episodes that I’ve seen in a while.

Steven Universe Review: “Barn Mates” (Season 3, Episode 4)

Can two stateless women share a barn without driving each other crazy?

“We’ll find a home together, and sleep there every night.
There’s a time and place for most things – this time, we’ll get it right.
You may not always love me; I may not care.
But intuition tells me, baby, there’s something we could share if we dare.”
– “Why Don’t We Live Together”, Pet Shop Boys

Airdate: May 26th, 2016.

Written By: Hilary Florido and Jesse Zuke (Credited as Lauren Zuke)

Plot: Steven’s best-laid plans for having Peridot and Lapis room together fall apart. Apparently, being kidnapped, interrogated, and left to the devices of a brutish general did not bode well for Lapis’s view of Peridot. Frustrated, Peridot tries to demonstrate that she’s not the same gem that did those pesky little traumas. Hilarity Ensues.

Review:

Well, “Alone Again, Natura-Diddily” got me a bit riled up, huh?

I mean, wow was that bad. It was a disaster on every single level that I have seen in anything that I have reviewed. Honestly, I can single-handedly say that, given everything involved, it will likely be my single least favorite subject that I have ever reviewed. It angered me that much. If I had been reviewing The Simpsons from moment one, that would’ve very likely been the moment I pulled the plug and walked away. There is virtually nothing left of the show.

God, I don’t think I can find an appropriate parallel to my face when I watch episodes from that point on. If only I can find something, anything, to represent how I feel when I was watching… that… if only…

NAILED IT, ALL HAIL OUR BLUE TRAGIC WATER GODDESS.

In the last Steven Universe episode, “Same Old World”, Steven tried to introduce the idea of Lapis Lazuli living in the city by relying on some good old TV cliches about Big American City life. Amongst the tropes was the idea that Lazuli could crash with a wacky roommate. It was meant to reflect a strange duality – that the world of Earth was more open to a diverse set of life experiences than the homogony of Homeworld, all while Steven cribbed these ideas from shows akin to The Big Bang Theory (which is a nerdy LA take of “straightlaced guy with a wacky roommate” sitcoms.)

So, plot twist, this episode has Lapis Lazuli paired up with a wacky roommate. Her name is Peridot. She used to work for Homeworld, but a series of rather tragicomic events drove her away. Amongst said events included a failed capture of the Crystal Gems… where she once held Lapis Lazuli prisoner as an informant, before bailing out of the crashing ship.

Well, as long as nobody gets knocked off of bleachers by a barrage of T-shirts, I’m good.

Steven Universe Review: “Steven’s Birthday” (Season 2, Episode 22)

“My powers mean nothing to an infant!” –  Garnet. No wonder why this show wound up knocked off the schedule in favor of Teen Titans Go! Damn their bright colors and lack of intense drama intended for twentysomethings who still watch cartoons.

Airdate: January 5th, 2016

Written By: Lamar Abrams and Katie Mitroff.

Plot: On Steven’s 14th Birthday, Connie comes over to the Barn. The initial satisfaction of her visit is nuanced when Connie discovered the 1.25 year age difference between the two and the fact that Steven might not physically age at the same rate as humans. Disturbed by this, Steven decides to force himself to grow a few extra inches. But this could prove to be to his detriment.

Review:

Just in case I haven’t mentioned this before, Steven Universe is quite possibly among the most romantic television shows ever aired. And before anybody asks, yes, that is intended as a double entendre.

On one hand, Steven Universe is quite philosophically dedicated to the art of romanticism. It doesn’t quite adhere strictly to this – the show is inarguably socially liberal (often tied more to the Enlightenment in some circles), and the approach to morality is tinged with a touch of grey for both protagonists and antagonists alike. But the mere concept of Steven Universe revolves around a society that broke from the perceived technological admiration and social stratification in favor of a more natural, humanistic (for lack of a better word), meritocratic world.

However, Steven Universe is also fundamentally a show about romance. It depicts the joys of a budding romance, the liberation that love can bring, but also the tragedy that the failure of love thereof can inflict on humanity. Ruby and Sapphire’s relationship (chiefly “The Answer”) analyzes the art of a romance that defied social mores despite not harming anybody. Pearl’s arc has depicted the trauma of a love lost, and how one has to put stock in oneself when they have measured themselves against an idol for so long.

Which leaves us with the Ballad of Steven and Connie.

Steven Universe Review: “Too Far” (Season 2, Episode 20)

Suddenly, Amethyst proclaiming her hole as “me-sized” doesn’t have quite the goofy ring to it…

“The Pearl here has exhibited an aptitude for engineering that I begrudgingly respect. But that doesn’t explain the spontaneous singing… crying… singing while crying.” – Peridot. Hey, she has a point. I mean, I love this show and how it stitches up the characters like kippers, but damn if these writers don’t love to take us on mood swings.

Airdate: October 15th, 2015

Written By: Hillary Florido and Lauren Zuke

Plot: Tensions between Peridot and the Crystal Gems are still rather high. Her views of Pearl are still rather reluctant, her views of Garnet get her tied to a fence, and the existence of Steven perplexes her. That, and Earthican English still perplexes her. Amethyst takes advantage of this for giggles. However, when the trio wind up at the Kindergarten, Peridot tries to emulate… with pathetic results.

Review:

I’m willing to admit that I went a bit “Cal State sociology professor” in my review of “Back to the Barn”. I mean, the response so far has been quite positive, but that’s not normally my style. So, let’s head back to something more of a character analysis with the review of this episode, “Too Far”… which is actually a sequel to “Back to the Barn”.

And we all know that sequels are hit-and-miss. For every Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, there’s a Highlander II: The Quickening (a movie so loathed that practically every home release has tried to edit the movie into some form of sanity). For every Toy Story 2, there’s a Hunchback of Notre Dame II. And for every Fraiser (tossed salads and scrambled eggs… mercy), there’s a Cleveland Show. (Yeah, Cleveland from Family Guy once had his own show. It lasted four seasons, weirdly enough, although I think Bob’s Burgers drove a knife in the show’s back.)

Unfortunately, that trend does not abate here. It’s not to as dramatic an extent as I listed here, but it’s not quite as compelling an episode as it’s immediate predecessor.

Steven Universe Review: “Rising Tides, Crashing Skies” (Season 2, Episode 6)

“For years, I’ve run a blog called “Keep Beach City Weird”. My mission: keep Beach City weird, and also to expose the truth.” – Ronaldo, engaging in shameless self-promotion. Maybe I should perfect that art of self-promotion… maybe…

Airdate: June 16th, 2015
Written By: Hellen Jo and Lamar Abrams
Plot: In a groundbreaking documentary, Ronaldo Fryman exposes the underworld of Beach City, and what causes the oddities within. As it turns out, though, his thesis and goal might lead to the downfall of his campaign.

Review

So, who wants to talk about Alex Jones again?

Alex Jones has, in many ways, become one of the most recognizable faces in the modern media – which is kinda ironic, given his anti-establishment opinions. A conspiracy theorist, his shows are known for their drama, his actions infamous for their eccentricity, and his views often radical, if not incoherent. He believes that the United States was at the center of several major massacres in a covert attempt to take over the individual, including the Oklahoma City Bombing, the 9/11 attacks, and (and this one drives me spare) the Sandy Hook shooting.

Oh, and President Trump once appeared on his show. And this wasn’t something very early on during the campaign – the interview occurred in December 2015, when he was well in the lead in primary polls, even though many thought the actual electoral season would expose and ruin his campaign. (Ah, the naivete of times past.)

So, yeah, Jones is nuts, he makes his money off of selling miracle drugs that probably don’t work, and he may have played a small role in giving the host of The Apprentice some power over the nuclear arsenal. Weird times we live in, huh?

Now, if you like Alex Jones, either ironically or legitimately, fine. You do you. (I’ll think you’re a bit out there if you like him legitimately, but whatever.) I just think he’s a lunatic, and so do many other people. Including, it seems, the Crewniverse, who practically transposed the persona of Alex Jones onto Ronaldo, one of the show’s least liked characters.

Steven Universe Review: “Shirt Club” (Season 1B, Episode 21)

“It’s so current, you can’t stop it. I’m a tastemaker, and I’m gonna keep making tastes… forever.” – Buck Dewey, proving that he would either be the centerpiece of the new Beach City art scene… or be washed up in a tiny Tampa studio by the time he’s 30. Either one works.

Airdate: April 16th, 2015

Written By: Lamar Abrams and Hellen Jo

Plot: Steven has the bright idea to promote his father’s business by putting a silly little drawing of “Guitar Dad” on fliers through the city. Buck Dewey catches wind of this, and decides to put the drawing on T-shirts – all as his father is running an election campaign. The promotion doesn’t do much to support the business… but Buck doesn’t seem to mind – he views Steven as more of an artist.

Review:

The Cool Kids aren’t cool kids.

Don’t get me wrong – they are the most chill group of teenagers in the Steven Universe universe, enough to attract the (tragic) admiration of resident grump Lars. By all accounts, they carry this aura of being the coolest group ever. Yet, they’re not stock “cool kids” – they function within the rules of society (“There’s nothing lame about seatbelt safety!”) They have lives outside of the quasi-clique they’ve formed – there, they are but normal, everyday teenagers, doing everyday, normal teenage things such as working and navigating everyday issues.

And what aspect of normal everyday teenage life is more relevant than tensions between parent and child? Or an unintentional conflict between friends regarding the use of art and what it means?

Hence, “Shirt Club”.

Steven Universe Review: "Keep Beach City Weird!" (Season 1B, Episode 5)

“Snake people, or sneeple, control our government at the highest level!” – Ronaldo Fryman. If this man took a government course in high school, he must’ve been very disappointed at the curriculum.

Airdate: October 30th, 2014

Written By: Raven Molisee and Paul Villeco.

Plot: Steven stumbles across Ronaldo, in the hunt to validate his own conspiracy theory. He has compiled the various strange events going around across Beach City, and has come to his ultimate conclusion… the world is ruled by otherworldly snake people! Unfortunately for him, a pretty valid counterargument comes up – there are these three aliens who happen to live in the town, and get on to various misadventures. Once Steven disproves Ronaldo’s theory, he suffers an emotional collapse. Steven, feeling bad, tries to fix what went wrong… only to see Ronaldo at his most insane.

Review (SPOILERS):

We all know the reason for Steven Universe’s existence, right? Well, it’s the result of Rebecca Sugar’s deal with the Illuminati, a group of Freemasons led by Preston Manning and Bill Shorten, who power the megabanks that engineered the Allen Gregory false flag, to power the sale of propane and propane accessories, all to line their pockets so that they can financially appease their sentient god, the Great Computer.

“He gets all his information on astronomy, phenomenology, and physics from a single reference book – The Junior Encyclopedia of Space. It’s the only one he could find with pictures.”

Yeah, that makes no sense, right?

Conspiracy theorists generally have stretched things really far to determine that certain world events are all part of this idea to start a new world order – whether it be the September 11th attacks, the election of Barack Obama as President, the rise of Donald Trump to the GOP nomination, even the Sandy Hook Elementary School Shootings. (Really? Arguing that children getting shot were actors in your attempt to prove that the world is controlled by bankers going to get your guns? What the hell?)

While Steven Universe largely takes its social commentary on a larger level (analyzing authoritarian governments and the role of “eye for an eye”), this episode decides to take a targeted look at the conspiracy theorists – what makes them tick?

Steven Universe Review: “House Guest” (Season 1B, Episode 1)

Will Greg Universe use the warp whistle responsibly? Here’s a hint – N. O. The end.

“Now, Greg, there’s no need to be so pathetic.” – Pearl, introducing Greg to the whistle – aka, the plot device de jour.

Airdate: October 2nd, 2014.

Written By: Lamar Abrams and Hellen Jo.

Plot: Greg’s van, which he conveniently uses as a house, was damaged in a recent confrontation with a livid ex-prisoner. Between that, and his injury, Steven lets him coop up in the temple for a while. However, Steven still has to go on missions with the Crystal Gems – for example, to try and repair a damaged Geode. Thus, Greg is given a whistle to play in case of an emergency. With great power… ah, what the hell, Greg abuses it.

Review:

“House Guest” marks the premiere of the second half of Season 1 – which, for the purposes of this blog, I will consider its own quasi-separate season. In my opinion, “House Guest” also concludes what I consider to be Steven Universe’s first genuine five-part arc, starting with “Monster Buddies”. (One could argue that the “arc” could start with “An Indirect Kiss” and go into “Space Race”, but I personally think that “Monster Buddies” to “House Guest” contains a more appropriately placed and stronger climax.) So, how does the first episode of the quasi-newly dramatic Steven Universe go?

Eh…