Scullyfied Simpsons: “New Kids on the Bleech” (Season 12, Episode 14)

Dipper: “Mabel, you know all those boy bands are fake, right?”
Wendy: “Dipper’s right. They’re just a manufactured product of the bloated corporate music industry.”
Mabel: “You’re making my dance sad.”
– “Boyz Crazy”, Gravity Falls

Airdate: February 25th, 2001

Written By: Tim Long

Plot: Bart’s recent scheme to screw around with a local marathon result almost has him killed. Fortunately, he’s saved by an opportunistic music manager, L.T. Smash, who manages to lure him into being a member of a new boy band project, the Party Posse. The band, thanks in part to autotune, becomes wildly successful. However, their lyrics slowly start to betray a more insidious motive behind the band’s formation.

Review:

May 20th, 2012. An unsuspecting date in the history of the wider world. Thousands of Chelsea Football Club fans pack central London to watch the Blues celebrate their Champions League victory via an open-top bus parade. Robin Gibb succumbs to cancer at the age of 62, leaving Barry Gibb as the sole remaining brother of the four Brothers Gibb that dominated pop music in the late 70s. It was a Sunday, but the Dow Jones Industrial Average would end the previous Friday at 12369.28 points. Gotye and Kimbra were on top of the charts with the vicious breakup song “Somebody That I Used to Know”

And it was the day that took my dedication to The Simpsons and slammed the nail into the coffin. I’ve mentioned before my disdain for “Lisa Goes Gaga”, but it stands repeating that it was more for sentimental reasons. It was the episode that soured me on the show’s current state forever, that made me realize that the series wasn’t just in a declined state, but downright decrepit. The sheer sycophancy to its topic of the day, the shameless attempts at a ratings grab, the plot rife with cliches for both show and medium, the shocking comedy… it wouldn’t have passed as a script for a third-rate 80s sitcom. “Lisa Goes Gaga” was the antithesis, a show almost proud of the concept of self-betrayal.

The Simpsons had sold out to follow current trends before, but this was when I could no longer rationalize it. I did watch a few “new” episodes over the next two years before giving up proceedings, but this was effectively the end. So disillusioned was I that, for a brief while, I threw the spot of “personal favorite TV show” to Gravity Falls and Red Dwarf once I really got into those particular shows.

I mention this because this was not the first time The Simpsons used the realm of contemporary music in what seemed like a grab at relevance. No, they were doing so as far back as Season 12’s “New Kids on the Bleech”.

And no, this episode isn’t exactly topping the charts, either. But it’s not quite as big of a bust as I remembered it to be.

Scullyfied Simpsons: “The Great Money Caper” (Season 12, Episode 7)

“Why are you frosting that old throw pillow?” – Marge Simpson. Just cue the hijinks music, because you know things are going to go south from here.

Airdate: December 10th, 2000

Written By: Carolyn Omine

Plot: A bizarre space-related fish incident causes substantial damage to the Simpson sedan. The estimated cost of repair is $6850. Initial plans to have Bart turn magic tricks on the pier fare poorly for Homer. Abandoned by his father at the pier, he manages to get sympathy money from the townsfolk. Noting the buckets of cash that ensued, Homer and Bart decide to become professional scam artists. As the screencap above implies, this does not end well for them. Or does it?

Review:

The abyss is not a pleasant place to be – little light breaks through the surface. This is especially true if you’re using it to compare it to the quality of a cartoon.

Over the course of my reviews of The Simpsons, I’ve covered many an episode that made me baffled as to how it was allowed to go out the way that it did. Some of what I had to cover was absolutely shocking – botched characterization, abysmal plotting, noticeable mistakes that are exposed by the issues surrounding it, lazier animation, and constantly telling the audience to try and do better. (Worth noting, Rebecca Sugar is a Simpsons fan. Make of that what you will.)

I still maintain that my least favorite episode of The Simpsons is “Alone Again, Natura-Diddily”. As I said in that review, it was the perfect storm of almost everything I disliked about the show’s post-golden era, and altered the universe in a way that was soulless and irrevocable. It was crass, callous, made the main character out to be unbelievably odious, soulless… the episode was just an unpleasant viewing experience I have no desire to inflict upon myself ever again.

I will, however, give the episode one unqualified positive. It’s not nearly enough to get its “0” rating revoked – it’s still the nadir – but credit where credit is due. The episode was at least complete. Yeah, it’s still absolute garbage, but the episode at least had some semblance of a plot, odious and obnoxious as it was. There was at least an end to the episode, even if it was pretty damn vapid and didn’t make up for the travesty of the rest of the episode.

Contrast “The Great Money Caper”. Let me just put it this way… does an episode deserve a critique if it’s practically unfinished?

Ah, what the hell, it was aired by the FOX Network. Fair game, in my opinion. (Besides, way back when, I reviewed that Red Dwarf pilot that never aired on USA television. Make of that what you will…)

Scullyfied Simpsons: “Alone Again, Natura-Diddily” (Season 11, Episode 14)

“Homer? You are the worst human being I have ever met.” – Ned Flanders, “Hurricane Neddy”. Give it three seasons, Flanders.

Airdate: February 13th, 2000.

Written By: Ian Maxtone Graham.

Plot: A trip to the nature preserve results in the Simpson clan encroaching on a racetrack. At a race later that day, they meet the Flandereses on the top deck of the bleachers. Unfortunately, a rather tragic series of events unfurl, and Maude winds up knocked off the stands to her death. Ned has to cope with the loss of his beloved… which he does with the help of a man.

A certain man.

That caused his wife’s death.

Review:

The debate over the decline of The Simpsons has often lied in the sentiments and degree of said decline? Not only is it often debated how long the show entered the rough spot (if it hit said spot at all), but there’s also the debate of how far the show sank. As I mentioned in my review of “Saddlesore Galactica”, there are plenty of fans who do watch the show to this day and argue that while there has been a decline, the fans that call for the show’s cancellation rely on hyperbolic sentiment.

They argue that the golden years were so illustrious, that nothing, short of nothing, could match them. These fans argue that the Dead Homer Society faction of fans – in effect, the #WengerOut of the Simpsons fandom (and that’s neither a complaint nor a compliment) – are either relying on rose-colored glasses or have such impossible standards as to ruin a perfectly good show for themselves and others.

And you know what?

That’s fine by me!

If you want to enjoy new episodes of The Simpsons, that is absolutely cool. I disagree with your argument that it’s particularly good (or even watchable) television, but again, that’s my opinion. Even Dead Homer Society – a blog with probably the most thorough and partisan analysis of the show’s decline out on the internet – argues that their visceral reaction to the show’s current state is only exacerbated because the golden years (seasons 1-7, according to them) were, in their eyes, so brilliant as to be part of the American canon.

To a cynical select few, it might come off as being part of the #WengerOut-esque bandwagon, this idea that we should kill off this institution of American television because a few nerds on the internet are angry. Which, alright. It’s the internet. You don’t have to go far to find insolent jackasses.

To those few, I want to disclose that what I am about to say, and my rationale thereof, is only a very slightly hyperbolic take on my own personal beliefs. Very slightly, in fact. Yes, I know this is just a show, but it revolves around my all-time favorite TV show. And therefore, where I am coming from is pretty clear.

Here we go…

“Alone Again, Natura-Diddily” is the single most infuriating piece of fiction that I have covered or very likely will ever cover on The Review Nebula.

Scullyfied Simpsons: “The Mansion Family” (Season 11, Episode 12)

“John, we went on the Pirates of the Caribbean Ride at Disneyland. Maybe you should write an episode about that.”
“Sure, pirates, whatever.”

“We made it, son. International waters – the land that law forgot!” – Homer. Well, the law might forget what happens on international waters, but the Review Nebula always remembers.

Airdate: January 23rd, 2000

Written By: John Swartzwelder.

Plot: After former “Springfield’s Oldest Citizen” Cornelius Chapman dies at the Springfield Pride Awards Ceremony, new record holder Mr. Burns decides to have his health checked out. To have his house kept during the weekend, Homer and the Simpson family stay over. Homer, ornery over not being recognized at the aforementioned ceremony, takes well to the fancy life. Indeed, to celebrate, he decides to throw a party, one that ultimately sends him into international waters to circumvent alcohol laws… and sends him into conflict with pirates.

Review:

“Monty Can’t Buy Me Love” remains one of my least favorite episodes of the Mike Scully Era of The Simpsons. In short, it encapsulates a lot that critics dislike about the show – established character traits are all but forgotten about, the characters began to revolve around a more insolent and moronic version of Homer even when the script didn’t call for it, celebrities that were once lampooned were now being treated with kid gloves, and the third act goes completely off the rails for reasons I can only assume were thought up under the influence of rotisserie chicken.

The complete character assassination of Mr. Burns, in particular, remains tragic. He was one of the show’s central agents of conflict, and by nullifying that, character-driven plots were tossed aside in favor of the slapdash and outlandish plotting we see at the moment. “The Mansion Family” is his first episode since, well…

…unfortunately, this episode is not that much better. In some ways, it’s slightly less egregious. In others, it’s even more obnoxious.

Particularly since this episode also serves as a sequel to a classic episode, “Homer the Smithers.”

Scullyfied Simpsons: “Faith Off” (Season 11, Episode 11)

(Note: for those looking for my review of The Prisoner episode “Arrival”, that will come out in the next couple of weeks. The schedule can be found on the intro post. So, a review of this and the Steven Universe episode “Super Watermelon Island” will precede the review of “Arrival”.)

“Heat makes metal expand. Now who’s talking mumbo-jumbo?” – Bart Simpson.

Airdate: January 16th, 2000.

Written By: Frank Mula

Plot: Homer’s attempt to pull a prank on the Dean of Springfield University as revenge for siphoning his money goes awry when a bucket full of glue lands on his head. While his driving is impaired, the resultant crash leads him and the family to Brother Faith, who claims to use the power of God to heal. He uses an enamored Bart to pull the bucket off Homer’s head, and Bart is intrigued with the flamboyance and fame of Brother Faith. As a result, he starts his own church, proclaiming to be a healer of his own.

Review:

The early 1800s brought with it a new wave of religious fervor to the United States. Labeled the Second Great Awakening, this wave of religion was in itself a reaction to the more logical elements of the Enlightenment era that fueled the Revolution. Many Christian sects were founded, particularly in the “burned-over” region of Northern New York, and these sects worked to try and solve the societal ills of the time. This wound up not only leading to the founding of the LDS Church, but the Second Awakening laid further seeds for the abolitionist movements in the United States, as it led to the rise of abolitionist preachers.

Likewise, the 1980s brought with it a small religious recovery on its own. So-called televangelists, taking advantage of the revival of conservatism during the Reagan era, began to use the apex of emotion to broadcast the word of their churches, all while acting in increasingly flamboyant ways. Of course, quite a few of these programs fell apart – largely thanks to tax laws. However, the influence still lingers today, in the form of Joel Osteen, for example.

So, what about “Faith Off”, an episode from the middle of The Simpsons Season 11?

Scullyfied Simpsons: “Take My Wife, Sleaze” (Season 11, Episode 8)

No, I did not find this on DeviantArt. (ORIGINAL CHARACTER DO NOT STEAL!)

“When you get a job interview, try not to call your employer a punk, or a skank.”  – Marge Simpson. Give this episode credit – we could take her advice here.

Airdate: November 28th, 1999

Written By: John Swartzwelder

Plot: A trip to a 50s kitsch diner lands Homer a motorcycle in a dance competition. Having learned to ride it, he decides to start up his motorcycle gang. They mainly serve to commit petty annoyances around town. But trouble starts when a biker gang with the same name as Homer’s gang comes into town, livid.

Review:

Season 11 of The Simpsons is a season that, quite frankly, doesn’t know what the hell it’s really doing so far.

On one hand, you have episodes such as “Eight Misbehavin”, “Days of Wine and Do’hses”, and “Alone Again, Natura-Diddily”. These episodes attempted to dramatically shift the status quo of one of the most iconic television franchises in all of history. However, most of these changes didn’t concern the immediate Simpson family. Which is fine, except that these episodes would ultimately mix in the Simpson family, by which I mean, Jerkass Homer would be welcomed into their lives despite oftentimes screwing things up royally. Besides that, these episodes couldn’t resist a lot of trappings of their contemporaries – attempts at seriousness and occasional social commentary were damaged by the inane plot twists, increasingly unsympathetic characterization of our protagonist, and the show losing grip of reality.

Then, of course, there are episodes that don’t really pretend to be about anything and tend to revolve more around stuff happening. They’re both equally bad – the “serious” episodes often befuddle (if not outright offend) me because of how poorly they measure up to their predecessors in Seasons 1-8, while the latter… well, they have no freaking structure at all.

Hence, “Take My Wife, Sleaze”, or as I like to call it, “We made Homer an artist and a director already, let’s make him a biker.”

Scullyfied Simpsons: “Eight Misbehavin” (Season 11, Episode 7)

“They’re a ravenous swarm of locusts just eating and screaming and grabbing and poking and pulling and drooling, and two have cradle rash. How do you get cradle rash when you sleep in a suitcase?” – Apu, describing the confusing realities of having children.

Airdate: November 21st, 1999

Written By: Matt Selman

Plot: A meeting with the Simpson clan at the Shøp department store gives Apu and Manjula baby fever. Despite their best efforts, they wind up having trouble conceiving. Thankfully, an attempt involving a poorly-written script winds up successful, and with the help of everybody giving Manjula fertility drugs (including Manjula herself), an attempt at one baby leads to eight children. The initial shock is later replaced with stress, as the media coverage eventually collapses, leaving the duo on their own.

Review:

Full disclosure – no, I’m not using this review to analyze The Problem With Apu and the Simpsons recent reaction thereof in a manner of “Is Apu a caricature”. I’m not South Asian, I’ll let them come to a democratic consensus on whether or not Apu (or at least modern Apu) is beyond the pale. All I’ll say is that the writers’ response in a recent episode was so poorly executed in terms of characterization and dialogue, as well as so childishly ham-fisted, that it would’ve destroyed any point they made. Even if they admitted fair play to Problem With Apu, they likely would’ve done so in a way that sunk the show.

Moments like that make me embarrassed to have become a Simpsons fan in the first place, and that recent response honestly made me contemplate reassigning the spot of “favorite show” to either Gravity Falls or Red Dwarf again, because at least those shows didn’t call their critics jackasses while producing some of the most incompetently written television of all time.*

Speaking of which, Season 11.

Scullyfied Simpsons: “E-I-E-I-D’oh!” (Season 11, Episode 5)

“That’s pretty clever, Dad. I mean, for a product that’s evil and deadly!” – Lisa, trying her hand at marketing criticism. Hey, she was a food critic, sort of.

Airdate: November 7th, 1999
Written By: Ian Maxtone-Graham
Plot: Homer’s newfound penchant for declaring duels to get what he wants ends badly, when a Southern Gentleman takes up on his offer. Facing a duel by pistol, he and the family skip town and become farmers. Initially unsuccessful, they wind up tapping into an untapped market, thanks to some tobacco seeds, some tomato seeds, and radiation.

Review:

Over the past few seasons, The Simpsons has slowly embraced weirder, more outlandish elements in their plots. While there was always a cartoonish aura to the show, most of these elements in the first eight seasons were there for a quick joke, particularly in the David Mirkin era. Suddenly, with the Mike Scully Era taking hold, entire plots began shifting in the third act to a more cartoonish climax – ironically, as the animation became more stolid, and as the rest of the writing skills (characterization, plot development) began flatlining.

Season 11, in particular, is infamous for these more zany twists. Examples given include a swordfight between Homer and a motorcycle gang, Maggie gaining superhuman strength in a time of crisis, self-dancing tap shoes, and everybody’s favorite, the society of evil jockeys.

“E-I-E-I-D’oh!”, in particular, has a rather interesting “third-act twist” – one where Homer, during his new job (again) farming, becomes a tobacco baron. Thanks to tomatoes. And plutonium.

No, this wasn’t written on cannabis, as far as I am aware.