Airdate: 18 March, 1999
|This is what money does to you, guys. You become involved in the stupidest TV ever made. Damn you, BBC!|
This episode is one of the saddest episodes of Red Dwarf ever made… and not in a good way. A solid 90% of the positives that this episode has are nullified due to the pathetic writing. Simply put, as much as “Cassandra” felt like a classic Red Dwarf episode, this feels like nothing of the sort. It feels like I threw on a bad American sitcom.
Remember when Red Dwarf used to have complex characters that I cared for? No, I don’t either. This episode dismisses the development that every character has had the past six, seven seasons to make everybody either sexist, perverted, a jackass in some other form, or some combination of the three. Lister used to have honor and some respect for his friends, and while he lusted after Kochanski, he used to try and do it in something of a respectful manner. He also used to have something of a moral center. Here, the mere thought of Kryten in the women’s showers is considered attractive to him, and he keeps looking at the video of the shower for three hours, barely trying to move out of the room. Why does he want to move out of the room? It’s not because Kochanski and the rest of the women are being violated, no. It’s because it will smeg up his appeal. And as we learn later, it’s an appeal that only deals with his own self-desires. When did Lister become such a selfish git? (Oh, yeah, “Tikka to Ride”).
I know Kryten is something of a neat freak, but come on. He’s not totally gullible… he should’ve known something was amiss with the trash. Nope. Instead, Kryten puts the trash away, and gets knocked out and reprogrammed by… maybe (see below) Kill Crazy! Yup, Kill Crazy, the character who just wanted to shoot stuff up, now knows how to reprogramme a mechanoid (maybe). Could it be character development? It would if we had cared about the character from day one… but read the “Tidbits” below on why I doubt that. Oh, and he loses all desire to shoot stuff. He’s just as much of a perv as the rest of the cast with a Y chromosome (except for Ackerman).
Back to Kryten, how the hell did he become a corrupt executive thanks to beer cans?
Sure, Kochanski gets a scene where she’s livid over the fact that her privacy being violated. But that’s it: she only gets one worthwhile scene. She only gets mentioned twice: once, she’s seen painting her toes with Kryten (who is painting his entire foot), and second, she’s mentioned having gotten over Lister (and, I guess, putting the invasion of her privacy) to date some schmuck who we don’t care about. A part of me is willing to forgive this lack of Kochanski, as Chloe Annett got sick during filming. Still, it’s pretty insulting to make an episode on peeping toms and not have a lot of representation from the “offended” gender.
Rimmer is tragically left in the dust, just there to aid Lister and get knocked down by the now self-centred Scouse. Yet, I don’t feel anything for this character. All of his development, even the one in the previous episode, was erased, and he’s back to being underdeveloped. He shows no defining character traits in this episode other than being a pervert.
TL;DR: the men are all perverts, or motivated by their perversion. Women are left in the dust. Both sides are hampered by sexism!
The humor? Barring a couple of chuckles, it’s all lowbrow, frat humor. I will admit to chuckling at the first “bunk scene” with Lister and Rimmer (post, anyone), and the “Attack of the Giant Savage Completely Invisible Aliens” is a bit funny (although I’ll explain later why I may not have found it as comic as others might have), but the rest of the episode’s comedy can be summed up as “men are perverts, Kryten’s a horrible mechanoid, and there are some visual puns.”
Plot? Shifts around too many times to count. So, Kryten’s humiliated because he has to shower with the women because he considers himself more of a man. Instead of appealing and trying to get switched into the men’s bunks, he continues on his merry way until Kill Crazy reprogrammes him and turns him into a Pay-Per-View mogul who films in the showers, amongst other things. Oh, Lister has an appeal, is too perverted to actively care about Kochanski, gets upset about Kochanski walking off, and winds up getting “Krytered”.
There has been quite a bit of debate on the internet on what the worst episode of Red Dwarf is. The most common answer seems to be our next story, “Pete”- specifically, the second part. At that rate, “Pete” must drive me close to the brink of insanity to be worse than “Krytie TV”. It’s staved off the 0 score on an interim basis. If “Pete” is better, “Krytie TV” will get the honor of the first 0 score. Not even a few chuckles can wash out the utter degradation of character, lack of coherent plot, and what feels like sexism against both sides of the coin.
- If the Red Dwarf Wiki is correct, this episode is actually said to have replaced an episode that would’ve had the Canaries discover a derelict ship where a sexual magnetism virus is in full effect… to the point where that’s how the crew aboard that ship died. It would’ve ended with Lister trying to kill Rimmer for trying to make love to Kochanski. Apparently, Naylor thought it would’ve been too inappropriate… so instead, this borderline (if not outright) sexist schlock was put on the air.
- The official Red Dwarf website notes, in an “interview” with Kill Crazy, that Kill Crazy didn’t program Kryten: instead, it was a prisoner that we never saw. I’m a bit skeptical: how are we sure that he’s not lying through his teeth? It feels a bit cop-out-ish.
- So, yeah, Kryten apparently makes his money off of beer cans. And not just money: his armor is gold, for one. Either it’s “faux-gold”, there’s scarce amounts of beer on ship, or the prisoners have a drinking problem.
- Second question: HOW THE HELL ARE PRISONERS GIVEN ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES?
- Third, why didn’t any officer stop the exploitation? Hell, where are the officers? All we get is Ackerman flipping out about the lack of his glass eye.
- Now, about the B-movie parody. While I otherwise found it funny, I find it hypocritical that Naylor is blasting B-movies for stupid plots and poor special effects, when “Pete” is judged to have both a poor plot and poor special effects. (And no, I’m not buying into the “it’s a parody of a B-movie” camp.)
Score: 1… for now. This episode is on a pseudo-probation.
Update 9 November 2014: Actually, giving it a score would give it too much dignity. I won’t give it the 0, but only because that would justify it as an episode of Red Dwarf.