Not Another Top (X) List – Top 12 Worst Episodes of The Simpsons Season 12

Hello, and welcome to another edition of

NOT ANOTHER TOP (X) LIST!

And today, we present this list with the last full-season retrospective that this blog will be doing of The Simpsons. Ladies and gentlemen, we are officially done with Season 11 of The Simpsons.

It is my honor to declare that Season 12 is actually… an improvement over The Simpsons season 11.

There is bad news, though. That honor is really damning with faint praise.

Let me explain it this way. Season 11 takes the dubious honor of “worst season ever” on the grounds that it dismantled and let rot everything that made the golden age of The Simpsons so iconic. On top of it, the majority of Season 11 episodes were “bad” at best and baffling at worst. While the latter doesn’t improve in general for Season 12, there are small differences. For instance, this season doesn’t contain the show’s nadir, so that’s a plus. It also contains the best episode of the Scully era, another plus. Further, there were more moments of striking animation that Season 11 seemed to lack, even if the aura of the show feels stagnant overall.

In fact, I did the math – the average score I gave for Season 11 episodes was 4.14. For Season 12? 4.25. Yeah, it’s a minuscule difference, but it’s enough to get Season 12 over the line. Barely. If you want a more apt comparison? Season 9 was the show tipping. Season 10 was the show falling over. Season 11 was when it fell over. Season 12 is the rats scurrying out of the debris and running into Moe’s Tavern.

I will, however, make one distinction. A lot of the episodes on my Bottom 11 list for Season 11 appeared to actively provoke the viewer in one way or another. Not that they avoid doing so in Season 12, but this time around, almost half of the episodes on this list are just… boring. They have noticeable flaws, but more than anything, I can only register a disquiet about them. Like, whatever. (Don’t worry, though, as the latter half of this list has some real trainwrecks.)

Well, tuck your pants into your socks, because we’re taking a look at the low points of this… less-than-impressive season. X=12. Ergo, welcome to…

THE TOP 12 WORST EPISODES OF THE SIMPSONS SEASON 12!

Scullyfied Simpsons: “Simpsons Tall Tales” (Season 12, Episode 21)

“The Simpsons are riding the rails!” – Homer. Side note, the last time somebody said “The Simpsons are going to (X)”, we got a hodgepodge of African cliches.

Airdate: May 20th, 2001.

Here we are – the last episode of Season 12 of The Simpsons. Let’s just get it over with so I can finally start the process of moving on to bigger and better marginally less insipid things. This is like Senioritis, except replace “academic boredom” with “finally ready to keep myself in a bubble of good Simpsons episodes”.

For the uninitiated, the double-digit seasons of The Simpsons would become noted for their almost annual foray into non-Treehouse of Horror “trilogy” episodes. This started with “Simpsons Bible Stories” back in Season 10, followed by “Trilogy of Error” (albeit one that was tied together by a major plot thread, so I don’t really count that), followed by today’s outing.

Apparently, the audience response to “Simpsons Bible Stories” led the writers to try and get lightning to strike twice. So was the positive reception to “Trilogy of Error”, probably the best episode of the Scully era. Accordingly, the first part of the “Supreme Leader Al Jean Era” would have the following traditional “trilogy” episodes:

1. “Tales from the Public Domain” (Season 13)
2. “Margical History Tour” (Season 15)
3. “Simpsons Christmas Stories” (Season 17)
4. “The Wettest Stories Never Told (Season 17)
5. “Revenge is a Dish Best Served Three Times (Season 18)
6. “Love, Springfeldian Style” (Season 19)
7. “Four Great Women and a Manicure” (Season 20)

On top of that, there were also the following “experimental” episodes:

1. “Gump Roast” (Season 13 clip show)
2. “The Seemingly Never-Ending Story” (Season 17)
3. “Springfield Up” (Season 18)

They largely stopped after the show shifted to a bizarre “three-and-a-half act” style in Season 20 (concurrent to the shift to widescreen). In practice, they were just excuses to implement the Simpsons characters into various stories famous in popular culture. There have been two since then, Season 23’s “Fight Before Christmas” and Season 30’s “My Way or the Highway to Heaven”. I have not seen the former in years and I have no desire to see the latter, do with that information as you will.

Anyway, let’s stop kicking the ball around the midfield and get on with it.

Scullyfied Simpsons: “Children of a Lesser Clod” (Season 12, Episode 20)

Warning – events seen in this episode are not as heartwarming as this screengrab from Frinkiac.com would lead you to believe.

“All my love has come back in trophy form!” – Homer Simpson. Spoiler alert, that’s one of the less asinine things he says all episode.

Airdate: May 13th, 2001

Written By: Al Jean

Plot: A trip to the YMCA ends badly for Homer Simpson, as his attempt to score during a basketball game results in a rather substantial ACL tear. Stuck at home after the surgery, he finds himself babysitting the Flanders kids. This starts a domino effect that sees him start his own daycare center. His newfound affection for taking care of his kids winds up preoccupying him so much that he forgets about his own offspring, much to their displeasure.

Review:

Why is Jerkass Homer so infamous?

Really, it seems like, more than any other aspect of The Simpsons’ shift in tone and characterization as it reached the double-digit seasons, Jerkass Homer gets quite a bit of focus. It almost feels as if that was the sole reason behind the decline – “the show sucked around the time Homer became an idiotic ass.” Yes, that’s a simplification, but it seems to be one of the most common complaints about the show’s decline once Mike Scully took over as showrunner.

The thing is, Jerkass Homer is arguably as much a symptom as it is an individual ailment affecting The Simpsons. Yes, the fact that the central protagonist decayed into an almost astonishingly unlikable human being pretty much removes any hope for wanting him to succeed, and the fact that he still gets off easy removes the hope for an interesting sense of comeuppance, thus removing the viewer from an interest in the story. However, it’s indicative of a much larger rot at the show’s core. After all, Homer was always a bit of an ass at first glance – he was stupid, self-centered, and somewhat of a lout. However, not only were these balanced out by a certain innocence and a fierce devotion to his family, but he was so often written as a multifaceted and human character. In fact, that’s where so many of my favorite episodes come from. The character has degenerated into joke fodder, meant to get the easiest and broadest laughs with no regard for empathy or audience relation, all while undermining the smartness of the show before it and the stories that stem from that brilliance.

It parallels what happened to the series. Once challenging the status quo of network sitcoms and cartoons, The Simpsons wound up almost embracing the cliches of both simultaneously in a way that left neither party satisfied. Jerkass Homer is merely the prime example of a surprisingly complex and moving show being reduced to a simplistic and surprisingly callous shell of itself. It is a series that has become more insular, and in spite of the increased insanity of the plot twists, has become more rote and almost predictable. The soul is gone, the body is kept alive by the powers that be who refuse to do the merciful thing and let the show die.

But die it won’t. So instead, we must do the next best thing and leave it be for our sanity. We’re down to our last few episodes. And how appropriate a title to warn us of what we can expect as “Children of a Lesser Clod”?

I’m not gonna beat around the bush anymore – this episode was surprisingly awful. I mean, I wasn’t expecting much, but this failed to deliver on even my dramatically reduced expectations.

Scullyfied Simpsons: “I’m Goin’ to Praiseland” (Season 12, Episode 19)

“It is with uh, great pride that I dedicate this new school, sports arena, or attraction.” – Mayor Quimby, displaying the same enthusiasm that I do every time I turn on episodes past the golden era at this point.

Airdate: May 6th, 2001.

Written By: Julie Thacker

Plot: It’s been some time since Maude Flanders has died. Naturally, Ned Flanders is still trying to come to terms with the tragedy. His inability to process the shock of this demise alienates Rachel Jordan, driving him to try and get his life in order. While trying to clean up his house, he comes across Maude’s old sketchbook, containing designs of a Christian theme park. An initial weakness in retaining patrons is countered by an apparent miracle in front of Maude’s statue.

Review:

Today on Scullyfied Simpsons, we get to follow up on a major plot shift in the Simpsons canon – the death of Maude Flanders!

Why, yes, that is a groan that you heard out here on Long Island.

I’ve made it no secret that the death of Maude Flanders is, to my eyes, one of the most horribly botched shifts to canon in the history of contemporary American fiction. I despise “Alone Again, Natura-Diddily”, not just for the cynical nature of said episode as a cheap viewer grab, but doing so in a way that tossed aside any logic whatsoever, made the protagonist permanently unlikable while still treating him like a naive fool, and felt like a spit in the face to the departed voice actress.

It is the show’s point of no return in my eyes, the moment that cemented the show’s transition into the Zombie era. And every time this particular twist has been brought up, it was in the most nauseating way possible, from Homer giving a low score on Ned’s sex life all the way to a severely ill Todd calling out for his mother. It makes me wonder if these writers are trying to plunge new depths to remain relevant.

But I have to wonder… can anything be salvaged from this slip-up in the show’s plot? Is there any hope of recovery? Or at the very least, can we get a half-decent episode revolving around this thread?

Well, here’s an example. Does it work?

No.

But why not?

Scullyfied Simpsons: “Trilogy of Error” (Season 12, Episode 18)

Homer: “Linguo… dead?”
Linguo: “Linguo… is dead.”

Airdate: April 29th, 2001

Written By: Matt Selman

Plot: The Simpson clan, known for ordinary days going out of hand, have one hell of a doozy through three separate events. Homer’s silliness results in his thumb getting cut off, and his quest to get it reattached is thwarted at many a turn. Lisa’s drive to get to the school science fair is detoured thanks to less than ideal directions. Concurrently, Bart and Milhouse wind up part of a fireworks sting operation. The connections between the three threads wind up more consequential than the trio suspect at first glance.

Review:

Am I done yet?

As you can infer from this (and most of my recent Simpsons reviews), I’ve reached the breaking point with this show. I reached it a long time ago, but I’m just about ready to power through and finally shove it into the rearview mirror and stick to the golden era until the day I become worm food.

You know what? I’m calling it. These next four reviews are all going to be Simpsons reviews. I’ve thought about it before, but “Simpsons Safari” might have finally broken the remnants of my spirit. I’ve been reviewing this show’s decline into sub-mediocrity for six-and-a-half years, and it’s time to move the hell on, find something new. I’ve already found that something new, but might as well clean the old out before moving to pastures that haven’t been left without maintenance for lengthy periods of time.

BRING IT ON, SIMPSONS WRITERS! BRING IT ON!

Fortunately for me, the show has seen it fit to throw me a bone. And a really tasty bone, at that! I speak no hyperbole when I say that “Trilogy of Error” might just be the best episode from Mike Scully’s tenure as showrunner. I would even go as far as to say that it would fit firmly in the middle of a ranking of “golden era” episodes.

Scullyfied Simpsons: “Simpson Safari” (Season 12, Episode 17)

“Don’t worry. Being eaten by a crocodile is just like going to sleep in a giant blender.” – Homer. Hey, look on the bright side! You don’t have to watch any more subpar Simpsons episodes!

Airdate: April 1st, 2001. Foreboding, in retrospect.

Written By: John Swartzwelder

Plot: Homer’s insolence towards the grocery store baggers serves as the straw that breaks the camel’s back, as the union declares a strike. With the rest of the food supply chain supporting the strike, the Simpson clan faces starvation. That is, until Homer tracks down a box of Animal Crackers, which has a golden giraffe – the prize for which is a trip to Africa. One meeting with the executives of a food conglomerate later, The Simpsons are en route to Tanzania. Hilarity ensues.

You know it’s a good sign when the last two words of the preceding paragraph appear.

Review:

Well, the last two episodes of The Simpsons that I covered were… tolerable. Quite a ways from perfect, mind you, but I did feel that “Hungry Hungry Homer” and “Bye Bye Nerdie” were actually fascinating episodes. The former had an intriguing plot that was about a draft away from being elevated to latter-day greatness. The latter, meanwhile, managed to execute a particularly insane plot in a somewhat coherent and technically impressive manner. Hell, even before that, “New Kids on the Bleech” had some amusing takes on the music industry and propaganda, even though it was weighed down by a very subpar plot.

Maybe the show, though far from the glory years, was starting to build something of a hot streak, episodes that were either competent or at least had some brilliant ideas that could be truly explored given another script.

It is so nice to be reminded that hope is always fleeting, and that good can always give way to misery without warning.

This seems to be a theme with the middle of Season 12 – a small streak of decent episodes is followed up with tripe. So it’s not like we were overdue for a major loser. This time, however, we have been rewarded with a TRUE, HONEST-TO-GOD disaster. “Simpson Safari” is such an odious and incoherent half-hour of television, the fact that it was cleared for broadcast by a major television network baffles me. And no, FOX being in its “trash television” phase is not a valid excuse.

Scullyfied Simpsons: “Bye Bye Nerdie” (Season 12, Episode 16)

Lisa: I just don’t understand Francine’s motivation. Why does she only go after the smart ones?
Nelson: That’s like asking the square root of a million – no one will ever know.
Lisa: Someone will. I’m gonna crack the bully code.
– The genesis for all great scientific discoveries. Or plot twists in post-classic Simpsons episodes. Take your pick.

Airdate: March 11th, 2001

Written By: John Frink and Don Payne

Plot: A new kid has arrived at Springfield Elementary, Francine. She finds herself ostracized by her new schoolmates. Accordingly, Lisa tries to strike up a friendship with this new face… only to find herself facing Francine’s more vicious side. While trying to deal with the problem, however, she comes to a scientific hypothesis related to the behavior of bullies towards nerds. Meanwhile, shaken by a baby-proofing saleswoman, Homer decides to become a campaigner for baby-proofing the whole of Springfield.

Review:

Well, the last Simpsons episode that I covered was decent, right? “Hungry, Hungry Homer” had a solid plot, a rather sympathetic protagonist in lieu of Jerkass Homer, quite a few funny lines, and all it needed to achieve greatness was some more solid pacing at the front and back of the script. My hopes were raised that this season can be salvaged further and we could end on a high note.

Let’s just say, it was good while it lasted.

Sort of.

Most of the Simpsons episodes I’ve reviewed over the last couple of years have either been straight-up mediocre or just downright insipid. Today’s episode, however, is a bit different. Sometimes, you come across something that you don’t know how to respond to. It has some intriguing elements, but the execution is very scattershot. The animation is brilliant, but it’s in the service of a half-baked script. And even then, the script isn’t totally horrible, but it’s in the service of a plot that’s less than interesting at best and utterly moronic at worst.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the great conundrum of “Bye Bye Nerdie”.

Scullyfied Simpsons: “Hungry Hungry Homer” (Season 12, Episode 15)

“Dancing away my hunger pains
Moving my feet, so my stomach won’t hurt
I’m kinda like Jesus
But not in a sacrilegious way”
– Homer’s “Don’t Move the Team” chant/song

Airdate: March 4th, 2001

Written By: John Swartzwelder

Plot: After an experience with customer service at Blockoland, Homer decides to take up being a good samaritan, in particular, an advocate for downtrodden consumers. The ultimate challenge comes when he accidentally discovers that the Springfield Isotopes are preparing to move to Albuquerque. With the team trying to cover up their relocation, Homer declares himself on a hunger strike.

Review:

It’s 1984 – the year that brought us the debut of the Apple Macintosh, the breakup of Ma Bell, the UK Miners Strike, and the launch of the TED Conference.

The Baltimore Colts NFL Team had been looking to replace their longtime stadium with a more modern venue. However, team owner Robert Irsay was gearing for public financing of the hypothetical new stadium, something which the local and State governments in Baltimore and Maryland were very reluctant to grant. Concurrently, the city of Indianapolis had been gearing up for reinvention, up to and including the construction of a new domed stadium. By the start of March, Irsay had his eyes on Indiana.

In an attempt to block the move, on the 27th, the Maryland Senate granted permission for the City of Baltimore to declare eminent domain on the franchise. Two days later, the Maryland House of Delegates also passed the bill clearing the way for the team to be seized. Unfortunately, the bill was redundant – the night prior, Irsay arranged for moving vans to load up everything the team owned and haul ass to Indianapolis, complete with Hoosier police escort once they crossed the state line.

Baltimore was understandably livid – they lost their NFL team, they lost the name that had been connected to the city, they lost the franchise records, and all in an act of midnight treachery. Colts legend Johnny Unitas disowned the franchise, to say nothing of the legion of Marylanders who were livid at such a move. So infamous was this maneuver that when Art Modell decided to move the Cleveland Browns to Baltimore in 1996, he was eventually forced to dump the Browns history in Ohio and effectively start a “new” franchise in Baltimore, the modern-day Ravens.

They weren’t the first nor the last sports teams to leg it from their city, and certainly not the last under questionable circumstances. Relocation or contraction of a sports team is the ultimate act of betrayal if you are a sports fan, especially if said team is a major social point – which it often is. Even in larger cities, it can be a bit of a blow to the psyche. Small towns? That can be devastating – as was the case when Bury FC were thrown out of England’s Football League (different case, but still a similar level of upset.)

Hence the foundations of the central conflict in today’s Simpsons episode, “Hungry Hungry Homer” – a man standing up against corporate sports.

Scullyfied Simpsons: “New Kids on the Bleech” (Season 12, Episode 14)

Dipper: “Mabel, you know all those boy bands are fake, right?”
Wendy: “Dipper’s right. They’re just a manufactured product of the bloated corporate music industry.”
Mabel: “You’re making my dance sad.”
– “Boyz Crazy”, Gravity Falls

Airdate: February 25th, 2001

Written By: Tim Long

Plot: Bart’s recent scheme to screw around with a local marathon result almost has him killed. Fortunately, he’s saved by an opportunistic music manager, L.T. Smash, who manages to lure him into being a member of a new boy band project, the Party Posse. The band, thanks in part to autotune, becomes wildly successful. However, their lyrics slowly start to betray a more insidious motive behind the band’s formation.

Review:

May 20th, 2012. An unsuspecting date in the history of the wider world. Thousands of Chelsea Football Club fans pack central London to watch the Blues celebrate their Champions League victory via an open-top bus parade. Robin Gibb succumbs to cancer at the age of 62, leaving Barry Gibb as the sole remaining brother of the four Brothers Gibb that dominated pop music in the late 70s. It was a Sunday, but the Dow Jones Industrial Average would end the previous Friday at 12369.28 points. Gotye and Kimbra were on top of the charts with the vicious breakup song “Somebody That I Used to Know”

And it was the day that took my dedication to The Simpsons and slammed the nail into the coffin. I’ve mentioned before my disdain for “Lisa Goes Gaga”, but it stands repeating that it was more for sentimental reasons. It was the episode that soured me on the show’s current state forever, that made me realize that the series wasn’t just in a declined state, but downright decrepit. The sheer sycophancy to its topic of the day, the shameless attempts at a ratings grab, the plot rife with cliches for both show and medium, the shocking comedy… it wouldn’t have passed as a script for a third-rate 80s sitcom. “Lisa Goes Gaga” was the antithesis, a show almost proud of the concept of self-betrayal.

The Simpsons had sold out to follow current trends before, but this was when I could no longer rationalize it. I did watch a few “new” episodes over the next two years before giving up proceedings, but this was effectively the end. So disillusioned was I that, for a brief while, I threw the spot of “personal favorite TV show” to Gravity Falls and Red Dwarf once I really got into those particular shows.

I mention this because this was not the first time The Simpsons used the realm of contemporary music in what seemed like a grab at relevance. No, they were doing so as far back as Season 12’s “New Kids on the Bleech”.

And no, this episode isn’t exactly topping the charts, either. But it’s not quite as big of a bust as I remembered it to be.

Scullyfied Simpsons: “Day of the Jackanapes” (Season 12, Episode 13)

“This is your Waterloo. Soon, you’ll be Napoleon Blown-Apart.” – Sideshow Bob.

Airdate: February 18th, 2001.

Written By: Al Jean

Plot: Livid at the ceaseless manipulation by network executives, Krusty the Clown throws his hands up and announces his retirement. Upon hearing this news and hearing Krusty throw shade at Sideshow Bob, the imprisoned one plots ultimate revenge. And his path to finally finishing Krusty off in style could also mark the end of Bart Simpson, as well.

Review:

The nature of The Simpsons is one of a few ways in which the show betrays its age somewhat. It’s a rather episodic series – you can throw on any episode (in the golden era, mind you), and for the most part, you won’t be too lost as to where the characters stand and what they are doing in their lives. It’s a bit of a rarer breed nowadays, as the ubiquitous nature of streaming services has furthered the shift in comedies to more serialized formats (for binging purposes).

There are elements of continuity, however, and there have been a few series arcs within The Simpsons. Probably the most notable of these has to be Sideshow Bob’s role as the show’s recurring antagonist. His episodes from Seasons 1 through 8 are regarded as among the show’s most beloved. “Krusty Gets Busted” is, to my eyes, an early sign of the show’s brilliance. “Cape Feare” is almost universally regarded as one of the best episodes of animated comedy ever. And “Brother from Another Series” served as a fantastic capper to the show’s notable “guest” antagonist.

But the show kept going, and now, four years after his last major appearance, Sideshow Bob is back for yet another outing. Even with the show sinking lower and lower, could this outing provide some sort of reprieve from the decay?