Scullyfied Simpsons: “A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love” (Season 13, Episode 4)

No context needed.

Chinese Restaurant Waiter 1: “Hey, we’re out of those “New Love” cookies!”
Chinese Restaurant Waiter 2: “Well, open up the “stick with your wife” barrel!”
– “The Last Temptation of Homer”

Airdate: December 2nd, 2001

Written By: John Swartzwelder

Plot: Homer’s complaints about the cliched nature of fortune cookies drives him to write his own take on the words of wisdom, this time as predictions. One such recipient is Mr. Burns, who discovers that he will find true love on Flag Day. And he does – seconds before midnight, he falls head over heels with Gloria (Julia Louis-Dreyfus). The two go out, and Burns convinces Homer to be his wingman.

Review:

Mr. Burns falls in love with the apparent woman of his dreams because a fortune cookie told him that he would.

Where’s my Yuengling? Because just the concept alone is cause for immediate and grave concern. Charles Montgomery Burns. Falling in love. To follow the whims of a fortune cookie. One that was written by Homer Simpson.

On one hand, there have been many plots before and after that looked horrible on paper, but were executed in a way that made them competent, if not downright impressive. And this show has demonstrated a more human, albeit still menacing and callous, aura to Mr. Burns before. On the other hand, this show’s recent track record is not good with, well, anything. They’ve already messed around with Mr. Burns, either declawing him (“Monty Can’t Buy Me Love” and “The Mansion Family”) or turning him into a cartoonish manchild villain (“Homer vs. Dignity”, oh gods). So my hopes were admittedly low.

But maybe, just maybe, I would be surprised. Could Scully and company pull out a minor miracle?

Nope! This episode is quite poor, and it’s NOT any relief that there are worse episodes out there. Just.

Scullyfied Simpsons: “Hungry Hungry Homer” (Season 12, Episode 15)

“Dancing away my hunger pains
Moving my feet, so my stomach won’t hurt
I’m kinda like Jesus
But not in a sacrilegious way”
– Homer’s “Don’t Move the Team” chant/song

Airdate: March 4th, 2001

Written By: John Swartzwelder

Plot: After an experience with customer service at Blockoland, Homer decides to take up being a good samaritan, in particular, an advocate for downtrodden consumers. The ultimate challenge comes when he accidentally discovers that the Springfield Isotopes are preparing to move to Albuquerque. With the team trying to cover up their relocation, Homer declares himself on a hunger strike.

Review:

It’s 1984 – the year that brought us the debut of the Apple Macintosh, the breakup of Ma Bell, the UK Miners Strike, and the launch of the TED Conference.

The Baltimore Colts NFL Team had been looking to replace their longtime stadium with a more modern venue. However, team owner Robert Irsay was gearing for public financing of the hypothetical new stadium, something which the local and State governments in Baltimore and Maryland were very reluctant to grant. Concurrently, the city of Indianapolis had been gearing up for reinvention, up to and including the construction of a new domed stadium. By the start of March, Irsay had his eyes on Indiana.

In an attempt to block the move, on the 27th, the Maryland Senate granted permission for the City of Baltimore to declare eminent domain on the franchise. Two days later, the Maryland House of Delegates also passed the bill clearing the way for the team to be seized. Unfortunately, the bill was redundant – the night prior, Irsay arranged for moving vans to load up everything the team owned and haul ass to Indianapolis, complete with Hoosier police escort once they crossed the state line.

Baltimore was understandably livid – they lost their NFL team, they lost the name that had been connected to the city, they lost the franchise records, and all in an act of midnight treachery. Colts legend Johnny Unitas disowned the franchise, to say nothing of the legion of Marylanders who were livid at such a move. So infamous was this maneuver that when Art Modell decided to move the Cleveland Browns to Baltimore in 1996, he was eventually forced to dump the Browns history in Ohio and effectively start a “new” franchise in Baltimore, the modern-day Ravens.

They weren’t the first nor the last sports teams to leg it from their city, and certainly not the last under questionable circumstances. Relocation or contraction of a sports team is the ultimate act of betrayal if you are a sports fan, especially if said team is a major social point – which it often is. Even in larger cities, it can be a bit of a blow to the psyche. Small towns? That can be devastating – as was the case when Bury FC were thrown out of England’s Football League (different case, but still a similar level of upset.)

Hence the foundations of the central conflict in today’s Simpsons episode, “Hungry Hungry Homer” – a man standing up against corporate sports.

Scullyfied Simpsons: “New Kids on the Bleech” (Season 12, Episode 14)

Dipper: “Mabel, you know all those boy bands are fake, right?”
Wendy: “Dipper’s right. They’re just a manufactured product of the bloated corporate music industry.”
Mabel: “You’re making my dance sad.”
– “Boyz Crazy”, Gravity Falls

Airdate: February 25th, 2001

Written By: Tim Long

Plot: Bart’s recent scheme to screw around with a local marathon result almost has him killed. Fortunately, he’s saved by an opportunistic music manager, L.T. Smash, who manages to lure him into being a member of a new boy band project, the Party Posse. The band, thanks in part to autotune, becomes wildly successful. However, their lyrics slowly start to betray a more insidious motive behind the band’s formation.

Review:

May 20th, 2012. An unsuspecting date in the history of the wider world. Thousands of Chelsea Football Club fans pack central London to watch the Blues celebrate their Champions League victory via an open-top bus parade. Robin Gibb succumbs to cancer at the age of 62, leaving Barry Gibb as the sole remaining brother of the four Brothers Gibb that dominated pop music in the late 70s. It was a Sunday, but the Dow Jones Industrial Average would end the previous Friday at 12369.28 points. Gotye and Kimbra were on top of the charts with the vicious breakup song “Somebody That I Used to Know”

And it was the day that took my dedication to The Simpsons and slammed the nail into the coffin. I’ve mentioned before my disdain for “Lisa Goes Gaga”, but it stands repeating that it was more for sentimental reasons. It was the episode that soured me on the show’s current state forever, that made me realize that the series wasn’t just in a declined state, but downright decrepit. The sheer sycophancy to its topic of the day, the shameless attempts at a ratings grab, the plot rife with cliches for both show and medium, the shocking comedy… it wouldn’t have passed as a script for a third-rate 80s sitcom. “Lisa Goes Gaga” was the antithesis, a show almost proud of the concept of self-betrayal.

The Simpsons had sold out to follow current trends before, but this was when I could no longer rationalize it. I did watch a few “new” episodes over the next two years before giving up proceedings, but this was effectively the end. So disillusioned was I that, for a brief while, I threw the spot of “personal favorite TV show” to Gravity Falls and Red Dwarf once I really got into those particular shows.

I mention this because this was not the first time The Simpsons used the realm of contemporary music in what seemed like a grab at relevance. No, they were doing so as far back as Season 12’s “New Kids on the Bleech”.

And no, this episode isn’t exactly topping the charts, either. But it’s not quite as big of a bust as I remembered it to be.

Scullyfied Simpsons: “Day of the Jackanapes” (Season 12, Episode 13)

“This is your Waterloo. Soon, you’ll be Napoleon Blown-Apart.” – Sideshow Bob.

Airdate: February 18th, 2001.

Written By: Al Jean

Plot: Livid at the ceaseless manipulation by network executives, Krusty the Clown throws his hands up and announces his retirement. Upon hearing this news and hearing Krusty throw shade at Sideshow Bob, the imprisoned one plots ultimate revenge. And his path to finally finishing Krusty off in style could also mark the end of Bart Simpson, as well.

Review:

The nature of The Simpsons is one of a few ways in which the show betrays its age somewhat. It’s a rather episodic series – you can throw on any episode (in the golden era, mind you), and for the most part, you won’t be too lost as to where the characters stand and what they are doing in their lives. It’s a bit of a rarer breed nowadays, as the ubiquitous nature of streaming services has furthered the shift in comedies to more serialized formats (for binging purposes).

There are elements of continuity, however, and there have been a few series arcs within The Simpsons. Probably the most notable of these has to be Sideshow Bob’s role as the show’s recurring antagonist. His episodes from Seasons 1 through 8 are regarded as among the show’s most beloved. “Krusty Gets Busted” is, to my eyes, an early sign of the show’s brilliance. “Cape Feare” is almost universally regarded as one of the best episodes of animated comedy ever. And “Brother from Another Series” served as a fantastic capper to the show’s notable “guest” antagonist.

But the show kept going, and now, four years after his last major appearance, Sideshow Bob is back for yet another outing. Even with the show sinking lower and lower, could this outing provide some sort of reprieve from the decay?

Scullyfied Simpsons: “Grift of the Magi” (Season 11, Episode 9)

Give it time – something’s gonna happen involving a charter school, and somebody’s going to proclaim The Simpsons as having become Nostradamus yet again.

“Lisa in trouble – the ironing is delicious!”  – Bart Simpson. You see, this particular charter school doesn’t do much book learning.

Airdate: December 19th, 1999

Written By: Tom Martin

Plot: Springfield Elementary School is coerced into a construction project to bring the school up to code with the Americans with Disabilities Act. However, the Mafia in charge constructs an opulent ramp system… that breaks with a single touch… all while taking the money and running. Out of cash, and with nobody willing or able to fund the school, Springfield Elementary is turned into a charter – brought out by Kid First Industries. However, the new operator is not only poor at their educational philosophy themselves, but are using the school to do market research into a hot new toy.

Review:

Well, it’s the holiday season! Here’s hoping you’re all enjoying nice cocoa, hoping for a white Christmas, not getting tired of the 24/7 Christmas Music on the radio quite yet, and…

…wait, what the hell? It’s July? Everybody’s having burgers, celebrating the World Cup, and going to baseball games? They’re hanging out at the beach, eating ice cream, and going across their nation or down to Spain?

OK, did my fellow Americans at least have the common knowledge to learn from the defensive end from the greatest sports team to ever walk the Earth, and make sure the fireworks they set off on the fourth didn’t blow up in their hand?

Ah, what the hell, let’s watch some more Simpsons – “Grift of the Magi”.

“Grift of the Magi” is the fourth Simpsons Christmas special ever. The first, “Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire”, was the show’s opening salvo, demonstrating the working class dysfunction with a heart of gold that powered the show in its glory years. The second, “Marge Be Not Proud”, has been generally well-received, but a small contingent of fans led by one Dead Homer Society considers the episode the worst episode of the first seven years of The Simpsons, as well as the opening salvo of the show’s decline into more traditional sitcom-ish plots and cloying emotion. The third, “Miracle on Evergreen Terrace”, is more divisive – and I personally dislike it for its failure to achieve a decent tonal balance.

So here we are. Season 11. The Scully Era is in its third year, and the critical reception towards the show has soured, at least from the more devoted fans. How would they pull off this Christmas episode? Would it have been an improvement, proving they learned their lesson? Or would it have been disastrous as the writing crew stops giving a damn? Let’s take a look.

Scullyfied Simpsons: “They Saved Lisa’s Brain” (Season 10, Episode 22)

“Oh, a sarcasm detector. That’s a real useful invention!” – Comic Book Guy. Standout quote. Glad it came in this wonderful season!

Airdate: May 9th, 1999

Written By: Matt Selman

Plot: Springfield’s culture, never particularly highbrow, hits a low point when a contest asking contestants to embarrass themselves collapses into a full-blown riot. In response, Lisa pens an open letter begging the townsfolk to better themselves. That letter catches the collective eyes of Springfield’s MENSA chapter, who encourage her to join. Despite a bit of terseness in the group, their concerns about Springfield’s culture gain more prominence when they inadvertently cause Mayor Quimby to skip town. Following the town charter, they take over as a quasi-junta.

Review:

OK, 21 episodes down, two to go in the tenth season. Only took me about two years to do so. And after that complete and utter debacle of the last episode, these next two might close the season out on a high note.

There is a sort of bizarre coincidence, though, that I’ve noticed. Despite this season overall being quite focused on Homer’s increasingly bizarre antics, the debut and penultimate episodes of the season take a closer look at Springfield’s favorite intellectual, Lisa Simpson, and examines just where she fits into this strange society.

Scullyfied Simpsons: "Bart the Mother" (Season 10, Episode 3)

Now to figure out which one is Chirpy Boy and Bart Jr. The madness! THE MADNESS!

Airdate: September 27th, 1998

Synopsis: Bart kills a bird, raises it’s babies, and it turns out it wasn’t the bird’s babies that he was raising.

More specifically, Bart defies his mother by hanging out with Nelson, who just acquired a BB gun at an arcade. One false move, and not only is a bird dead, but Marge finds out and decides to give up on trying to interact with him. Feeling utter guilt, Bart decides to raise the eggs as his own… and lizards wind up hatching.

Review: Ah, ZZZZZZ… oh, sorry, where was I? Oh, yeah, this episode. A pretty blasé, boring half hour… well, the first two acts, anyway. The third act, I don’t know what happened.

The first part of the episode is so boring, that I don’t think I’m gonna go in depth here. This might be my shortest review since I don’t even know when.

Basically, the first two acts are “Marge Be Not Proud”… but with BB guns and birds instead of video game theft and christmas. I think the use of Nelson was an attempt to show how bad first impressions can be, except that, it actually makes sense that Marge wouldn’t be a fan of Bart hanging out with Nelson. That, and at least “Marge Be Not Proud” actually used subtle emotions, instead of the dramatic over-explaining in this episode… as if the audience were too stupid to know that Marge was fed up.

What a sea change.

Not only that, but I think the character traits explored have been handled better in previous episodes. Marge’s over-protective, somewhat hypocritical principles were already touched upon in “Itchy and Scratchy and Marge”. Bart’s own self-doubt was already hit upon in “Bart Gets an F”, and his relationship with his mother, “Marge Be Not Proud”. All of these episodes handled those conflicts in more complex, interesting ways.

The moments after Marge gives up are definitely better – not that much, but still. Bart, feeling guilt, raises the bird for himself. While I don’t think Bart feeling a certain level of guilt is out of character (I refer you to “Sweet Seymour Skinner’s Baadasssss Song”, and his guilt over getting Skinner fired), here, it goes a bit too over the top, and thus, feels a bit out of character for him. Or maybe the episode’s boring-ness got to me. That, and it did give us a gold Troy McClure film strip… unfortunately, it would be the last ever. (See below.)

Now, the third act is actually pretty decent. As wacky a twist it was, the reveal of the lizards actually added some strange sense of life into this episode. Plus, having Bart try to defend his lizards actually creates an interesting parallel. In the end, I think that “Bart the Mother” was trying to put Bart in Marge’s shoes – that he will still defend what, to an extent, are his children, even if they give people some hell.

Oh, and I did like the twist on environmental balance. The lizards were an invasive species who were killing off other animals. To an extent, this provides the question – is it part of the circle of life? Are we really doing harm by leaving these animals/reptiles be? As far as I know, this environmental analysis was unintentional, much like the ending to “Trash of the Titans”, another episode that I have mixed feelings for. Kinda cool that we aren’t in the anvil dropping zone yet, that the writers can still do subtle social commentary.

Too bad this episode wasn’t that memorable.

Let’s just wrap it up here – it’s a rather boring episode. Sadly, I think it could’ve been sweet if it didn’t take a path that was far too similar to “Marge Be Not Proud”, and syphon the comedy from that episode. Analyzing Bart isn’t a bad thing, but they’ve done it quite a bit better. (Take a look at “Bart Gets an F”, or “Bart Sells His Soul”.) It passes, but that’s more because nothing in this episode really offended me.

Tidbits:

• Interestingly, Nancy Cartwright has cited this as among her most-loved episodes, because of the soul searching. Not gonna bash her opinion… just disagree with her.
• This was the last episode written by David Cohen before he left to create Futurama with Matt Groening. Interesting that around the same time Futurama premiered, The Simpsons began its fall from grace.
• On a more somber note, as I alluded to above, this was also the last episode to feature Phil Hartman – this time, in the aforementioned Troy McClure film strip. For those unaware, on May 28th, 1998, Hartman’s wife shot him three times before turning the gun on herself. A coroner’s report suggested that she was under the influence of drugs. It was a shocking and grisly end, and silenced one of the greatest comics of the 80s and 90s. Out of tribute, the writers decided to silence their characters. For that, I give Mike Scully respect. Similar props to Al Jean, for keeping it up with Hartman’s characters.

Favorite Scene: The Troy McClure script. You will be missed, Phil.

Least Favorite Scene: Marge turning her back on Bart was done far better in “Marge Be Not Proud”, mainly because of subtlety.

Zaniness Factor: 2.5. Lizards? Really?

Jerkass Homer Meter: 1.5 – mainly for getting beaten up at the batting cage. Granted, I did like the lightbulb gags.

Score: 5.5

Scullyfied Simpsons: Season 9, Episode 25: "Natural Born Kissers"

Nothing like your 11th anniversary to realize you have old cake in the fridge.

Airdate: May 17, 1998

Synopsis: It’s Marge and Homer’s 11th anniversary. However, recent events (such as having their anniversary dinner at a family restaurant) have them fear that the zest in their marriage has run out. While trying to get a motor for their freezer, the two get stuck in a muddy driveway in the middle of farm country. Hiding out in a farmhouse, the risk of the farmer catching them inside reignites the fire in their relationship, and the two realize that their relationship reignites when the risk of being caught in compromising situations increases.

Meanwhile, Bart and Lisa find Abe’s old metal detector. After finding tons of junk, the two eventually locate a copy of an alternate ending to Casablanca. Let’s just say, the ending isn’t what one would consider a classic.

Review: Shorter review than normal here, because there isn’t too much to dissect. Earlier episodes did the “Zest in Love Life” plot better, added more pathos, more character development, and were funnier. It seems like this episode was just done to appeal to fanservice, as well as see how far the writers could “push the envelope”, and didn’t really bother to make that many other benchmarks in terms of quality.

Scullyfied Simpsons: Season 9, Episode 23: "King of the Hill"

Airdate: May 3rd, 1998

Synopsis: After a disastrous outing to a church picnic, Bart realizes that Homer is pathetically out of shape. Homer, disappointed in himself for failing his son, decides to take up an exercise regiment, complete with trips to the “gyme” and eating Powersauce bars. Impressively, with the help of Rainier Wolfcastle, he manages to build up sizable muscles within two months, albeit developing a bit of ego along the way. One particular trip to the “gyme” has Homer and Bart meet up with representatives from Powersauce, and Bart convinces Homer to take up on an offer to climb the super-tall Murderhorn. The executives sponsor the trip along the way, turning it into an ad campaign… even having sherpas help Homer.

Review (SPOILERS): Watching these past few episodes has been like a pendulum. We had “Trillions” show the assassination of satire, “Girly Edition” show the brilliant satire formed over the previous eight seasons, “Trash of the Titans” show Homer getting a job and acting like an asshat all the way, and this episode, actually extending pathos to Homer. Is this the last we’ll see of a sympathetic Homer? Who knows? (Hint: probably.)

This episode chooses to look at one of Homer’s defining physical features- his rotundness, and how it contrasts with society’s expectations of machismo. It’s a bit strange that, given the relative zaniness of these past few episodes (Cuba? Really?), this episode actually has a somewhat realistic portrayal of Homer’s health and what happens when he exercises- even though he gets muscles in two months, he’s still not presented as fit. The way this episode portrays his striving to get healthier actually makes you feel for Homer throughout the entire episode.

Unlike future episodes, which will show Homer becoming macho thanks to the power of a dietician, this episode shows the fraudulence of certain “schemes” to healthy living- that is, food in “health bar” form. This actually shows a realistic viewpoint of that scheme- eating the bars seems to motivate Homer. When the rug is pulled out from under Homer (mmm… Chinese newspapers), he rejects the Powersauce Executives’ fears that he won’t make it to the summit… only to embrace it after almost dying.

He only truly abandons his quest after he learns something about his father. Why? Eh, it’s a plot arc introduced in the third act. I would’ve placed something a bit earlier, but it fit with the pacing of the episode. Still, he realizes that there can be no greater shame than what his father did, and that whatever he does is still more dignified. I won’t spoil it, but it is a pretty dark moment.

While Homer does dip in a little bit of “Jerkass” territory here, it’s relatively minor and somewhat excusable- with the pathos built up, it’s understandable why his ego inflated a bit after gaining some muscle. Likewise, the resolution of the plot is a bit… strange. Still, somewhat alleviated by Homer’s pathos.

Getting back to the macho part, this episode does take some shots at society’s expectations of macho-ness via Wolfcastle. The muscles. the feats of strength. Yet, he won’t do the impossible in real life- climb the Murderhorn. Granted, his reasoning is justified, but still. The Gravity Falls episode “Dipper Vs. Manliness” did a similar episode 15 years later- one that criticized masculine stereotypes. Being that “Manliness” happens to be one of my least favorite Gravity Falls episodes, I find it strange how an episode from the waning years of The Simpsons can best a similar episode of a show that might challenge my all-time favorite.

Not much to say here, really. A good episode, albeit relatively unmemorable (except for “gyme”), probably the last before Scully’s brand of Simpsons fully takes over.

Tidbits

• The mockery of advertising is brilliant. The Powersauce executives are annoyingly hysterical- they’re more callous about death and danger than Mr. and Mrs. Valentino!
• This just in: Powersauce is amazing!
• Note to self: always use “gyme”.
• Apologies for being out for these past couple of weeks. Writer’s block, plus a new blog, plus a new semester, does not motivation make.
• One last note: this will likely be the last blog post under the current URL. At the latest, as of the posting of my review of the next Gravity Falls episode, “Northwest Mansion Noir”, the URL will change to starbug1729.blogspot.com. I would preemptively bookmark it, if I were you. Update 3/10/2024: I have since moved again to WordPress.

Favorite Scene: Every scene with Abe and McAllester is brilliantly done. Nothing says character development like those scenes.

Least Favorite Scene: Eh… can’t name a scene that stood out for its weaknesses. All of them were necessary to the plot.

Jerkass Homer Meter: 1.5. Homer gets a bit more aloof and callous when he gets fit, but it’s immediately balanced out by the pathos in the episode.

Zaniness Factor: 2… mainly for the last three minutes.

Score: 7.

Update- 2/2/15: Not related to The Simpsons, but I’ve just learned/realized that Geraldine McEwan, who played Cassandra in Red Dwarf, died recently. In tribute to her, I post this quote from “Cassandra”:

Cassandra: All of the Canaries will be dead within 1 hour, except for Rimmer…

Rimmer: YES!

Cassandra: …who will be dead in 20 minutes.

Scullyfied Simpsons: Season 9, Episode 18: "This Little Wiggy"

Airdate: March 22nd, 1998

Synopsis: After noticing that Ralph is constantly bullied due to his “off” character, Marge arranges a meetup between Ralph and Bart, much to the latter’s chagrin. As Bart realizes the power his father lords as the chief of police, such as having the master key, Bart begins to use Ralph to break into various places, like a toy store, a bakery, and a local jail.

Review: If I were to pick the best “Valentine’s Day” episode of any show ever, it would probably have to be “I Love Lisa”. Not only does it have a simple yet compelling story between the ditzy yet soft-hearted Ralph and the intellectual yet occasionally aloof Lisa, but it also showcased that Ralph was more than just a prop character, a “kid in the back”. He was a loner, ostracized because of his ditzy behavior, yet was an utter savant when it came to the stage. It’s probably my favorite “holiday” episode of The Simpsons by quite a margin. If ever you need proof that the classic seasons of The Simpsons were able to craft some of the most fantastic characters in TV history, watch that episode.

I bring that episode up because, again, Ralph is the center of an episode revolving around him. You can feel the difference in the two episodes. One gives him natural character development that pulls at almost every emotion imaginable, whilst not being overly sappy. The other tries too hard to be funny, and as a result, it seems to reserve its characters to joke fodder.