Steven Universe Review: “What’s Your Problem?” (Season 5, Episode 20)

Amethyst: “I’m crashing!”
Steven: “But how does that make you feel?”
– I swear, this show’s critics had a field day with those two sentences.

Airdate: July 3rd, 2018

Written By: Katie Mitroff and Paul Villeco

Plot: Ruby has bolted from the Temple, leaving Sapphire distressed. With her and Pearl in emotional turmoil, it’s up to Steven and Amethyst to try and track Ruby down. However, Steven’s emotional investment in the hunt contrasts with Amethyst’s apparent lack of care. But are her distractions strategic in another way?

Review:

In the middle of 2016, the bell tolled for Steven Universe.

While working on Seasons 4 and 5, Rebecca Sugar was informed that Cartoon Network was turning off the tap. No new episodes of her series would be ordered. Steven Universe was facing death; the way things were going, it appeared doomed to end on a cliffhanger at best, and possibly horribly rushed at worst. It was not just an emotional turmoil having the show of her dreams (and, as of this writing, her magnum opus) sent to the wall, but so many questions could have been doomed to be unanswered, so many plot threads left in the lurch.

Fortunately for us fans, she got a partial reprieve from the network – the show got an extension on the season to wrap up major plot threads, then was granted a movie and a new epilogue miniseries. But you can just sense from this episode forward that the show was getting ready for the final bow. Even with the reprieve, you can see the show starting to wrap up as many remaining plot threads as humanly possible starting here. Not that Season 5 hadn’t already done so – Lars had his renaissance, Sadie had her new career, Connie re-centered herself, and we found out Rose Quartz was the product of reinvention. And now the time has come to complete the arcs of the Crystal Gems.

How apropos that we start with Amethyst, and how brilliant that the title of this outing is “What’s Your Problem”?

Steven Universe Review: “Now We’re Only Falling Apart” (Season 5, Episode 19)

What have you got to say of shadows in your past?
I thought that if you paid, you’d keep them off our backs
But I don’t care; baby, I’m not scared
What have you got to hide? Who will it compromise?
Where do we have to be so I can laugh and you’ll be free?
I’d go anywhere; baby, I don’t care…
…I’m not scared.
– “I’m Not Scared”, Pet Shop Boys (originally made famous by Eighth Wonder)

Airdate: July 2nd, 2018

Written By: Lamar Abrams and Christine Liu

Plot: The reveal that Rose Quartz was actually Pink Diamond and Pearl was in on the act has shocked the Crystal Gems. The most emotionally affected is Sapphire, who runs off devastated, convinced that Garnet’s raison d’etre and the path her life took for so long were both based on the worst possible deception from the worst possible source. Chasing her down, Pearl offers some context to the whole damn debacle, particularly how Pink Diamond was refuted in her attempts to reason with her sisters in government, and how Garnet fits into the equation of the Earthican Rebellion.

Review:

Well, that was quite a preceding episode, wasn’t it?

“If you’ve got a history book at home, take it out and throw it in the bin; it’s worthless. The history books now will have to be re-written.” – Spartacus Mills, The Day Today.

“A Single Pale Rose” was the television equivalent of a meteorite crash-landing in the middle of Philadelphia. It’s not that often that a single episode so thoroughly demolishes the status quo and recontextualizes every damn moment of the involved series from the beginning. Steven Universe did so in eleven friggin minutes.

I mean, everything. Pearl’s fear of fusion (and possible aversion to eating, even), Rose’s entire character up to and including her love of the planet Earth, their relationship, Amethyst’s origin, the whole nature of the overarching conflict, all of it has to be seen through a new lens. And guess what? We now have an episode that tackles the fallout straight on but dares to add new context to the most stunning moment in the show’s canon – the moment that recontextualized everything is being contextualized in turn!

Still with me? good.

And how poetic; the first plot element that the show seriously re-analyzes is Garnet’s raison d’etre, starting with the appropriately titled “Now We’re Only Falling Apart”.

Steven Universe Review: “A Single Pale Rose” (Season 5, Episode 18)

“Sorry to make you come all this way…” – Pearl, having just spent minutes shattering the image of the past for Steven Universe… character and show.

Airdate: May 8th, 2018

Written By: Danny Cragg and Hilary Florido

Plot: Steven is still deeply unnerved over the vision that he had of Pearl appearing to shatter Pink Diamond. When he approaches her with the inquiry, Pearl is unable to give an answer one way or the other. Later that day, however, Steven receives a text from Pearl… who then reveals that she didn’t send the text, but placed it in her pearl. Accordingly, Steven goes in to try and obtain the phone, handing Pearl his mobile in the process. What follows is a look at tragic events in Pearl’s life, up to a pivotal event that answers Steven’s inquiry as to the assassination of Pink Diamond, a reveal that leaves Steven beside himself.

Review:

Do you have your coffee, tea, soda, beer, whiskey, wine, or whatever drink you can nurse over a relatively elongated period ready at the helm?

If so, good. If not, get it before reading. Because by the end of this review, you’re gonna be grateful you had something by your side.

*deep breath*

There are six key dates that every Steven Universe fan should have committed to memory.

Let’s start with the big two. There’s November 4th, 2013, when “Gem Glow” first aired and started Steven Universe‘s reign over animated television. It was a relatively inconspicuous debut, but many television shows have such launches, only gaining acclaim as time passes and the show establishes itself in the pop cultural canon. There’s March 30th, 2020, the airdate of the very last episode of the franchise, “The Future”. These are the alpha and the omega, the beginning and the end – the broadest definition of the Steven Universe era of pop culture, as I call it. Even after the “imperial phase”, you could feel the shadow of the series linger above so much in popular culture – the idealism, the unabashed progressivism, the cultural representation in cast and crew, you name it. If it didn’t pioneer such themes and concepts, it encapsulated them in a way that captured the zeitgeist.

In between, though, four more dates serve as flashpoints in one way or another, and they must be recognized.

September 25, 2014, saw the debut of the “Mirror Gem/Ocean Gem” two-parter; these two episodes confirmed the launch of the show’s overreaching arc, cemented the space opera elements that are a significant element of the franchise, and introduced Lapis Lazuli onto the scene. March 12th, 2015 was the premier date of the Season 1 finale “Jailbreak”, an episode that signaled the arrival of Ruby and Sapphire, adding new context to Garnet and cementing the show’s place in the pantheon of LGBT pop culture; it fueled a wave of popularity in the series, and I would argue that it secured the show’s “imperial phase” that had built over the past 26 episodes. There’s August 4th, 2016, the debut of “Bismuth” which dared to shine a more cautious light on the show’s political philosophy and brought into focus Steven’s optimistic nature in the face of cruel reality; a divisive episode that seemed to shake the show’s once-cheerful fanbase, but one that struck at the core of the show’s principles and dared to defend them, albeit with a certain nuance.

And then there’s May 7th, 2018. In my opinion, that date marks the biggest flashpoint in the show’s history.

Where were you when “A Single Pale Rose” aired? Where and how did you first watch it?

Because, lads, this is the episode of Steven Universe, the one that shocked the bloody internet. It’s also possibly the most divisive moment in the entire goddamn franchise. To a sizable portion of viewers, it signaled the show finally losing it and either vindicated recent quality complaints or demonstrated that the show, erm, dropped the league lead late in the title race. To others, it’s one of the most fulfilling and brilliant twists in the entire series, as well as one of the best episodes of the show – some have argued that it is the best. For some, it is their “helmet catch” that secured the victory; for others, the Portillo Moment that signaled the show’s collapse.

So what is it?

Well, for me, there is one thing that biases my opinion – arguably, the episode from which the subject of today’s review stemmed.

“Rose’s Scabbard”. I’ve told the story a million times, but “Rose’s Scabbard” was the episode that made me truly fall in love with Steven Universe. It didn’t take long for me to declare it my favorite episode of the series, an opinion I’ve mentioned several times over. It was an opinion I held firm to from the word “go”, and I figured nothing else would top it.

Challenge accepted, said the gods above.

Steven Universe Review: “Can’t Go Back” (Season 5, Episode 17)

“I know I left too much mess and destruction to come back again.
I caused nothing but trouble; I understand if you can’t talk to me again.
And if you live by the rules of “it’s over”
Then I’m sure that that makes sense.”
– “White Flag”, Dido

Airdate: May 7th, 2018.

Written By: Miki Brewster and Jeff Liu

Plot: Ronaldo alerts Steven to a very fascinating discovery – he has located a barn on the moon! Steven puts two and two together and realizes that Lapis is probably near the moon base. His suspicions are correct, and he tries to convince Lapis to return to Earth. Her insecurities preclude such a scenario, but rumination causes some of her concerns to melt away. Yet, the nature of the moon base drives Steven to make another, far more striking and immediate discovery – one that will rock his world to the very core.

Review:

Lapis Lazuli might be the most pivotal character in the storyline of Steven Universe.

Now, let me clarify a few things. She’s not my favorite – Pearl has my heart, hands down. She’s not the most culturally important; Garnet – and, by proxy, Ruby and Sapphire – are groundbreaking for her, and their, symbolic representation of a same-sex (or otherwise unfairly taboo) relationship. She’s not quite the most iconic – Garnet and Peridot are probably neck and neck for that title, giving the world the aforementioned groundbreaking status in the former, and in the latter, meme after meme. And is she the most relatable? Personally, I’d go for Connie, the nerdy everywoman who turned into a skilled swordswoman, although Lapis is up in the Top 5 of that list to be sure.

But in terms of the narrative, Lapis Lazuli is the most iconic character in a precise way. For she is the alpha and omega. The sign of the show launching itself into the stratosphere, and the sign that the show was getting close to a climactic end.

It was her first appearance in “Mirror Gem” that signaled that this series was going to expand the worldbuilding beyond what we initially thought. From that moment forward, the slice-of-life antics took a backseat to drama, character introspection, and sci-fi opera moments. And it is her appearance in Season 5 that will signal the launch of the original show’s final major arc; the last moments before Steven’s preconceptions regarding his life are shattered and he is left to pick up the pieces once and for all.

Welcome to “Can’t Go Back”, Lapis Lazuli’s moment of great introspection. And my word, it is as breathtaking as that description could ever imply. Yeah, I’m not burying the lead any further, this episode is gorgeous.

Steven Universe Review: “Letters To Lars” (Season 5, Episode 16)

“I guess me and the Big Donut have a lot in common: we’re both empty inside.” – Bill Dewey

Airdate: April 30th, 2018

Written By: Lamar Abrams and Colin Howard

Plot: Steven writes a letter to Lars to keep him aware of the changes that have gone on in Big City. Chief among them is Bill Dewey trying to rebuild his career after being voted out of office by the townspeople. But no matter what, he’s not quite able to find his place in the town he once ran.

Review:

Well, lads?

This is how any semblance of normality in the Steven Universe canon fades away.

Yes. We are two episodes from the most epochal moment in the original series, if not the entire franchise. There will be a twist that will re-contextualize so much about SU, from minute one to Season 5 and even Future, it is almost impossible to look at the show the way it was before. If ever we as fans had a sense of “innocence”, the remnants of this – largely chipped away by the likes of “Bismuth”, “Rose’s Scabbard”, “I Am My Mom”, “Mindful Education”, and “On the Run” – will be wiped off the map.

Endgame is brutal for any show, especially for us fans who became so invested in the characters and setting. For Steven Universe, it is going to be especially staggering, on par with some of the prestige dramas that upended any semblance of a status quo in their dying episodes.

And it gets even worse. Because the first hint of the shock to the system comes more like a compressional wave, a brief comment from Steven in the front half of the episode. Innocuous at the first airing, it would wind up setting in stage every single thing that occurs for the rest of the series. A much clearer lean into the show winding itself down comes in the form of a more standard, grounded wrap-up of the goings on around Beach City. It feels more like a traditional “show is ending soon” episode – close down the arcs for our side characters.

Enter “Letters to Lars”, the denouement for many of the Beach City Citizens (“Cityzens” – they can share with the Sky Blue Mancunians), particularly that of early entrant William Dewey.

Steven Universe Review: “Pool Hopping” (Season 5, Episode 15)

Bongo: You’ll be transported to an alternative reality, a reality where there’s another Arnold Rimmer. Some decision was made at some point in your life where he went one way, and you went the other. You might find he’s quite different to you.
“Ace” Rimmer: Sounds like quite a caper.
Bongo: You’ll do it?
“Ace”: I’m a test pilot in the Space Corps, Bongo. It’s my job to do it.
– “Dimension Jump”, Red Dwarf

Airdate: April 23, 2018

Written By: Katie Mitroff, Paul Villeco, and Joe Johnston

Plot: Garnet has taken a job at the Big Donut to try and test the idea of dimensional pools – events that are far beyond the confines of typical timelines. Steven and Garnet get enthralled and decide to test the concept with random events. It all culminates in trying to rescue cats all while having a breakdown in the rain.

Review:

Hey, guys! Let’s talk about Alternate Timelines and how it applies to this sci-fi show! (This is, technically, a blog about sci-fi shows. Kinda. Sorta.)

If you were to list every sci-fi plot used in the history of classic sci-fi television, the concept of “alternate timelines” would likely be near the top of the list, up there with “time travel” and “mind swapping”. Call it what you want – the dimensional theory, parallel universes, whatever. If it involves our main characters traveling to a universe that is a few meters off of what we are used to watching, BOOM, you’ve embraced the trope!

Obviously, there’s nothing wrong with this trend. After all, it is interesting to see our society or favorite characters with alternate variables. The use of alternate realities can serve as a reflection on how society and culture can be impacted positively or negatively, and why society and people are the way they are. Hell, Red Dwarf touched on this topic several times; occasionally for societal analysis (sexism in “Parallel Universe”, not quite the same thing but still notable), once to wrap up a series (“Only the Good”), but more notably for its examination of Arnold Rimmer via “Ace” in “Dimension Jump”, one of the more celebrated side characters in the series.

Steven Universe actually kinda took a look at the idea of alternate realities in one of its earlier outings, “Steven and the Stevens”, and Steven’s possession of a magical hourglass (ah, time travel) and his use of the device to start his own band led to the creation of an alternate timeline. Let’s just cut to the chase – the last line of the episode has the line “I learned to stay true to myself/By watching myself die!” Technically, this entire show has been in an alternate timeline… which took over and became the prime timeline.

Hell, Garnet’s whole “future vision” relies on alternate timelines depending on how far you’re willing to stretch the idea. Consider that she can project various outcomes, but there is almost no certainty about those scenarios occurring. Consider “The Answer”, and how Sapphire’s precognitive vision was rebutted in a way that utterly changed her life – it was a literal formative moment for Garnet.

Now, let’s take one more plunge into the “alternate timeline” arena with “Pool Hopping”. AKA, Steven Universe‘s 731st quest to wring every tear out of our eyes.

Steven Universe Review: “The Big Show” (Season 5, Episode 14)

“I’m calling you from the other side…”

“Look up here – I’m in heaven
I’ve got scars that can’t be seen.
I’ve got drama, can’t be stolen.
Everybody knows me now…“
– “Lazarus”, David Bowie

Airdate: April 16th, 2018

Written By: Hilary Florido and Danny Cragg

Plot: In a fly-on-the-wall style documentary, we follow the goings-on of rock band Sadie Killer and the Suspects as they try and achieve their breakthrough concert. Thanks to a contact related to the film’s director, the band are booked for a gig in Empire City, in an attempt to prove their musical chops. All the while, Sadie is trying to smooth out her relationship with her once-overbearing mother.

Review:

In mid-November 2015, David Bowie filmed the music video for one of his upcoming singles, “Lazarus” off his soon-to-be-released album Blackstar. The video was simple yet striking; Bowie, his eyes bandaged, lay on his deathbed, ruminating on his life while another form of his – a possible representative of his past – is pulled into a wardrobe. The video perfectly fits the lyrics, where Bowie contemplates the potential afterlife, how he had played his life, and how the fans would react to the details of said life playing out in the lyrics of his music.

As the video was being recorded, doctors informed Bowie that his liver cancer, which he had been battling since 2014, had recurred and spread through his body; it was declared terminal, and treatment was stopped. The single was released on December 17th, and Blackstar went out on January 8th, 2016. Bowie died within 72 hours of the latter. “Lazarus” and Blackstar, intended as a musing of one’s morality, became The Starman’s epitaph.

The famous last words of David Robert Jones provide an extraordinary insight as to how we as pop culture connoisseurs and analysts read into the author’s intent and opinions. It speaks to what goes into the author’s mind, how we channel our trials and tribulations into the art we create, and how we connect to said art as consumers and patrons.

Anyway, here’s “The Big Show”. Sadie Miller working through her grief over an absent friend and issues with her mother to a ska/punk beat.

Steven Universe Review: “Your Mother and Mine” (Season 5, Episode 13)

“Captain’s Log – Stardate… uh, Thursday. Space is really big. Everything is messed up. Our nova thrusters and busted, and getting home is taking forever.” – Capt. Lars Barriga of the Sun Incinerator, recreating the elevator pitch that led to Voyager.

Airdate: April 9th, 2018

Written By: Hilary Florido and Paul Villeco

Plot: Steven drags Garnet along to the Sun Incinerator to meet the Off Colors. However, they don’t take kindly to Garnet’s very positive appreciation of the group and the group members. Accordingly, she decides to relay a story about Rose Quartz and the rebellion she launched in the name of Gem liberation and Gemkind.

Review:

One of Steven Universe‘s more controversial aspects has to be the show’s use of limited first-person perspective and the rather strict adherence to it. Steven is the central character, and with a few qualified exceptions, the show follows his life. Any exposition runs through his eyes and ears. The show is many things, but primarily, it’s his story. I’ve discussed the merits and demerits of this approach before; I suspect repeating them would just come off as redundant.

So… how would you react if I were to tell you that the show would air an episode about perspective just a few outings before a twist that would turn the entire goddamn show on its head and cause us to reflect on everything that Steven learned?

And that it would involve Garnet being a central character in the initial episode?

Ah, the Crewniverse – those guys, gals, and non-binary pals were jokesters.

Well, here’s “Your Mother and Mine”, an episode loaded with dramatic irony. It’s probably the most dramatic irony-filled episode of the entire friggin franchise, which is saying something considering how much of the entire show will be re-contextualized in a few episodes.

Steven Universe Review: “Jungle Moon” (Season 5, Episode 12)

“I’ve just got to hold out until Lars finds me. Until then… we survive.” – Stevonnie.

Airdate: January 5th, 2018

Written By: Miki Brewster and Jeff Liu

Plot: Stevonnie’s ship has crashed down on a mysterious planet. With no way to contact Lars for rescue, they are forced to rough it alone. In their quest to survive the debacle, they wind up in a strange atmosphere… one that involves Connie’s Mom, Yellow Diamond, and a particular enigmatic figure or two in the world of Steven and the Diamond Authority?

Review:

In my fifth-grade class, we read certain books as part of reading groups; if I recall correctly, each group rotated between three or four books. One of the books that I recall reading was Gary Paulsen’s 1986 classic Hatchet.

The book is about a thirteen-year-old from upstate New York, en route to his father in the Canadian North. He crashes down in the wilderness after the pilot dies. Forced to hunt and adapt in order to survive, Brian winds up spending time ruminating on the chaotic nature of his life – particularly finding out that his mom had an affair before the divorce. I didn’t appreciate it much at the time, but in retrospect, it really was an intriguing book to introduce to fifth graders – touching on themes that could be relevant to the youth such as survival, adaptability, representation of “divorce children” (more taboo in the 80s), and maturity. It’s a quintessential coming-of-age book, particularly if (like myself) you grew up in the northern part of North America.

Of course, “stranded in the wilderness” might as well be a trope of its own. Especially in sci-fi, just replace “wilderness” with “bizarre planet”. Red Dwarf did it, Futurama did it, and now Steven Universe started to do it…

…and used the trope to start tying together the ultimate puzzle behind the show’s arc.

Who the hell is Pink Diamond?

Steven Universe Review: “Lars of the Stars” (Season 5, Episode 11)

Accused and tried and told to hang
I was nowhere in sight when the church bells rang
Never was the kind to do as I was told
Gonna ride like the wind before I get old!
It is the night- my body’s weak.
I’m on the run, no time to sleep.
I’ve got to ride, ride like the wind, to be free again…
– “Ride like the Wind”, Christopher Cross

Airdate: January 5th, 2018

Written By: Lamar Abrams and Jesse Zuke

Plot: The Barriga parents have assembled a care package for their son, who is trapped in outer space with no quick path home. Steven and Connie team up to deliver the package to their friend. To their surprise, however, Lars has become the captain of a starship – a rebel starship! He and the Off Colors have become quasi-pirates in their quest to escape Homeworld. But will they be kneecapped by the bitter and vengeful commander of the ship they stole from? And whose ego will come back to bite them in the ass?

Review:

Let’s flashback a bit to June 2015. Having been interested in Steven Universe for months beforehand, I watched “Rose’s Scabbard” and immediately fell face-first into utter fandom. I become deeply invested in Rebecca Sugar’s world, characters, themes, yadda yadda yadda. I wrote and published my first review of the show on this silly little blog a month later and never looked back. Steven Universe had become one of my favorite shows, and the episodes that aired in the months and years since would largely validate that initial appraisal.

Now, let’s imagine that you, dear reader, found a way to go back in time, and for whatever reason (possibly to reduce the effects of causality-related chaos), decided that the best use of your time was to track me down and tell me the following three things:

• Leicester City, a soccer team that barely escaped relegation from the English Premier League in the most recent campaign, would go on to win the Premier League and stun gambling firms across the world, all while the defending champions struggled to finish 10th – and then get relegated seven years later;
• Steelers WR Antonio Brown would suffer a brutal hit during a playoff game, go insane (possibly thanks to CTE), alienate himself from three teams, release some terrible rap songs, and still win a Super Bowl ring with Tom Brady under center before Aaron Rodgers (who, by the way, took up homeopathic medicines) won a second;
• Lars, that angsty character from Steven Universe, would go on to be a kickass space pirate and captain a resistance against the show’s antagonists… after he technically died; and in doing so, would become one of the show’s more beloved characters.

If you were to tell me these three things back then, I would suspect you just consumed a substance previously unknown to humankind. Especially after you told me about that third point.

This is why I don’t gamble, guys.

Now, let’s also amend that last point – Lars would become a kickass space pirate and captain a resistance against the show’s antagonists, and the ensuring reveal of this would make me scream at my TV “Why the hell did we only see a part of this, Becky and Co?”

Because damn, “Lars of the Stars” alone is pretty cool, and it makes me wonder “what if”? Then again, I didn’t write it – I’m just reviewing it.