Scullyfied Simpsons: “The Blunder Years” (Season 13, Episode 5)

Homer: “There have been so many classic Simpson moments. I remember that time I tried to jump over Springfield Gorge…”
(flashback to “Saturdays of Thunder”)
Homer in Flashback: “I’m gonna make it!”
Lisa: “No, dad! Everyone’s sick of that memory!”
– Lies, damn you!

Airdate: December 9th, 2001

Written By: Ian Maxtone-Graham

Plot: While going out to dinner with the family to make up for an unfortunate paper towel mascot incident, Homer finds himself in the clutches of a local magician. His tricks manage to dredge up a haunting memory from his past that results in him screaming through the night. One tea ceremony later, he reveals that at the tender age of 12, he discovered a dead body blocking an inlet pipe heading out to the local quarry. But who was he? And how did he wind up in the inlet pipe?

Review:

We have reached endgame.

While I have two other episodes and a movie to go, this is really the last dance of Mike Scully’s tenure – the last episode to be aired before Al Jean took the helm indefinitely. One other episode that was produced later was aired weeks earlier. He would helm another episode at the start of Season 14. But this, my friends, is effectively the end of the most controversial era in Simpsons history.

Kind of moving, in a way. Even with a lot of the clunkers that I’ve reviewed, you can’t deny that the end of any era is going to be rather poignant. Reminds me of the last few seasons of Eli Manning’s tenure at the New York Giants – his play got rustier, the team didn’t play up to par, and yet when he was benched for Daniel Jones, I was still rather moved. He played a few more games before hanging it up, but it was still a changing of the guard. Still my QB, forever and ever.

But enough about sportsball, we’ve got The Simpsons to take care of. And this time, we’re flashing back to the late 60s/early 70s! Let’s get some mood music going, and dive into “The Blunder Years”.

Scullyfied Simpsons: “A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love” (Season 13, Episode 4)

No context needed.

Chinese Restaurant Waiter 1: “Hey, we’re out of those “New Love” cookies!”
Chinese Restaurant Waiter 2: “Well, open up the “stick with your wife” barrel!”
– “The Last Temptation of Homer”

Airdate: December 2nd, 2001

Written By: John Swartzwelder

Plot: Homer’s complaints about the cliched nature of fortune cookies drives him to write his own take on the words of wisdom, this time as predictions. One such recipient is Mr. Burns, who discovers that he will find true love on Flag Day. And he does – seconds before midnight, he falls head over heels with Gloria (Julia Louis-Dreyfus). The two go out, and Burns convinces Homer to be his wingman.

Review:

Mr. Burns falls in love with the apparent woman of his dreams because a fortune cookie told him that he would.

Where’s my Yuengling? Because just the concept alone is cause for immediate and grave concern. Charles Montgomery Burns. Falling in love. To follow the whims of a fortune cookie. One that was written by Homer Simpson.

On one hand, there have been many plots before and after that looked horrible on paper, but were executed in a way that made them competent, if not downright impressive. And this show has demonstrated a more human, albeit still menacing and callous, aura to Mr. Burns before. On the other hand, this show’s recent track record is not good with, well, anything. They’ve already messed around with Mr. Burns, either declawing him (“Monty Can’t Buy Me Love” and “The Mansion Family”) or turning him into a cartoonish manchild villain (“Homer vs. Dignity”, oh gods). So my hopes were admittedly low.

But maybe, just maybe, I would be surprised. Could Scully and company pull out a minor miracle?

Nope! This episode is quite poor, and it’s NOT any relief that there are worse episodes out there. Just.

Scullyfied Simpsons: “I’m Goin’ to Praiseland” (Season 12, Episode 19)

“It is with uh, great pride that I dedicate this new school, sports arena, or attraction.” – Mayor Quimby, displaying the same enthusiasm that I do every time I turn on episodes past the golden era at this point.

Airdate: May 6th, 2001.

Written By: Julie Thacker

Plot: It’s been some time since Maude Flanders has died. Naturally, Ned Flanders is still trying to come to terms with the tragedy. His inability to process the shock of this demise alienates Rachel Jordan, driving him to try and get his life in order. While trying to clean up his house, he comes across Maude’s old sketchbook, containing designs of a Christian theme park. An initial weakness in retaining patrons is countered by an apparent miracle in front of Maude’s statue.

Review:

Today on Scullyfied Simpsons, we get to follow up on a major plot shift in the Simpsons canon – the death of Maude Flanders!

Why, yes, that is a groan that you heard out here on Long Island.

I’ve made it no secret that the death of Maude Flanders is, to my eyes, one of the most horribly botched shifts to canon in the history of contemporary American fiction. I despise “Alone Again, Natura-Diddily”, not just for the cynical nature of said episode as a cheap viewer grab, but doing so in a way that tossed aside any logic whatsoever, made the protagonist permanently unlikable while still treating him like a naive fool, and felt like a spit in the face to the departed voice actress.

It is the show’s point of no return in my eyes, the moment that cemented the show’s transition into the Zombie era. And every time this particular twist has been brought up, it was in the most nauseating way possible, from Homer giving a low score on Ned’s sex life all the way to a severely ill Todd calling out for his mother. It makes me wonder if these writers are trying to plunge new depths to remain relevant.

But I have to wonder… can anything be salvaged from this slip-up in the show’s plot? Is there any hope of recovery? Or at the very least, can we get a half-decent episode revolving around this thread?

Well, here’s an example. Does it work?

No.

But why not?

Scullyfied Simpsons: “Day of the Jackanapes” (Season 12, Episode 13)

“This is your Waterloo. Soon, you’ll be Napoleon Blown-Apart.” – Sideshow Bob.

Airdate: February 18th, 2001.

Written By: Al Jean

Plot: Livid at the ceaseless manipulation by network executives, Krusty the Clown throws his hands up and announces his retirement. Upon hearing this news and hearing Krusty throw shade at Sideshow Bob, the imprisoned one plots ultimate revenge. And his path to finally finishing Krusty off in style could also mark the end of Bart Simpson, as well.

Review:

The nature of The Simpsons is one of a few ways in which the show betrays its age somewhat. It’s a rather episodic series – you can throw on any episode (in the golden era, mind you), and for the most part, you won’t be too lost as to where the characters stand and what they are doing in their lives. It’s a bit of a rarer breed nowadays, as the ubiquitous nature of streaming services has furthered the shift in comedies to more serialized formats (for binging purposes).

There are elements of continuity, however, and there have been a few series arcs within The Simpsons. Probably the most notable of these has to be Sideshow Bob’s role as the show’s recurring antagonist. His episodes from Seasons 1 through 8 are regarded as among the show’s most beloved. “Krusty Gets Busted” is, to my eyes, an early sign of the show’s brilliance. “Cape Feare” is almost universally regarded as one of the best episodes of animated comedy ever. And “Brother from Another Series” served as a fantastic capper to the show’s notable “guest” antagonist.

But the show kept going, and now, four years after his last major appearance, Sideshow Bob is back for yet another outing. Even with the show sinking lower and lower, could this outing provide some sort of reprieve from the decay?

Scullyfied Simpsons: “Tennis the Menace” (Season 12, Episode 12)

“There’s a lesson here for all of us – it’s better to watch stuff than to do stuff.” – Homer. If watching stuff involves this episode, I’m going to doubt that nugget of wisdom.

Airdate: February 11th, 2001

Written By: Ian Maxtone-Graham

Plot: Attempts to plan Abe’s funeral result in Homer getting a tennis court. Why? Potatoes. He becomes the local tennis goof, all while Marge wants to play the sport more seriously. The tensions between them grow, and when Homer enters the duo in a doubles competition, Marge wastes no time in having Bart take his place.

Review:

As the cliche goes, all good things must come to an end. And as this episode demonstrates, that phrase can be extended to mediocre-to-decent things.

I mean, the past couple of episodes of The Simpsons that I covered were… not that bad. They had their shortcomings, yes, but given that their immediate predecessors possessed area-code terrorism, characters getting molested via (and by) a panda, a slapdash parody of The Prisoner, and an ending that wasn’t, the trio contained sustainable plots, character pathos, some attempts at development, comedy that didn’t feel like scraps on the Family Guy floor, and all put together in a way that didn’t make me feel like I was being spat on by the writers, a feeling that is (unfortunately) too common with modern Simpsons.

It had to end sometime. And of course, it had to end with quite a thud. This is going to be a quick review because I don’t know how much I have to say here. But let’s get it out of the way – “Tennis the Menace” was painful, one of the worst episodes of The Simpsons I’ve reviewed so far. It’s not because of an infamous moment that mitigated any positives, but more because of being broken throughout on almost every conceivable level.

Scullyfied Simpsons: “Lisa the Tree Hugger” (Season 12, Episode 4)

“You can’t silence the truth with beanbags!” – Jesse Grass, before being proven wrong with beanbags. Try playing hacky sack with that!

Airdate: November 19th, 2000.

Written By: Matt Selman.

Plot: A trip to Krusty Burger ends in a rather interesting matter, as Lisa sees environmental radicals in action, protesting the chain’s less than friendly environmental stance. She also becomes smitten with the group’s leader, Jesse Grass. Enchanted with Dirt First, she joins the group and takes up a rather interesting task. Springfield’s oldest tree is set to be cut down, and Lisa decides to camp out in an attempt to save it.

Review:

Over my coverage of the decline and fall of The Simpsons, I’ve covered the show’s degradation and humiliation of many of its characters. And let’s be real here – in time, no character is left unscathed from being reduced to rubble.

Homer’s descent from jerk-with-a-heart-of-gold everyman into an emotionally abusive super maniac is probably the most infamous, but that’s more because he got an obscene amount of screen time in the Scully era. This meant that we got to see more of him while he was acting at his absolute worst. Always a good combination. But other characters have been mutated during this era, often by taking a small aspect of their character and enveloping it while removing other aspects (or as TV Tropes calls it, “Flanderization”). Burns’s seniority has made him a weakling incompetent, Moe has become pathetically lonely instead of just pathetic (although the episode around that wasn’t actually that bad), and so many more will go down the same path.

One of the more infamous cases was with Lisa. Those who have seen later seasons might be more aware of her as pretty much a complete cliche of every hyper-liberal and pretentious university student out there. That said, from the first episode, she always had an intellectual streak, and episodes not much later have had her possess a slight liberal and activistic streak. This was balanced by her encountering circumstances many eight-year-olds have faced – a substitute teacher she admired, competing in an essay contest, a disconnect with her father, a general feeling of being an outsider – and the writers being able to sell her as a unique character. At her best, she’s my second favorite character in the Simpsons canon. (Come on, nothing beats classic Homer.)

The good news is that this episode fits a very similar mold to that of “Pygmoelian”. While it is a harbinger for her descent into a more cliche and uninteresting character, “Lisa the Tree Hugger” still manages to get the essence of Lisa Simpson mostly correct… and even more surprisingly, manages to put forward a pretty decent script!

Scullyfied Simpsons: “Insane Clown Poppy” (Season 12, Episode 3)

“For a clown, you’re not really a lot of fun.” – Sophie. Pretty interesting analysis of one of The Simpsons most iconic side characters.

Airdate: November 12, 2000

Written By: Don Payne and John Frink

Plot: While signing books at a town book fair, Krusty the Clown meets a girl claiming to be his daughter. Given that she has green, curly, pointy hair, and triggers a flashback to Krusty’s liaison with a soldier during the Gulf War, she might have a point. His attempts to bond with the daughter are awkward, but the two do share a small bond over music. However, Krusty gambles the violin away dur

Review:

Let’s not beat around the bush here – “Insane Clown Poppy” is less awful than it’s predecessor. Unfortunately, “less awful” can mean anything, and in this case, it does not work in the episode’s favor. More specifically, this episode is uninteresting, and much of what is of note here is rather boring.

But first, let’s flashback to what made this series so iconic way back when.

The world of The Simpsons was constructed as a microcosm of America around the end of the Cold War – the late 80s to early 90s. Pretty much everything that defined the nation around this time found its way into the show, be it representative of a piece of pop culture or an idea within our society. The Springfield Nuclear Power Plant was representative of corrupt business culture, the Elementary school a symbol of decaying educational systems, et cetera. Even individuals served as representatives of American culture – for example, the Quimby family was a swipe at the Democratic political dynasties, as well as corruption and nepotism in politics overall; Lovejoy a religious figure who had seemingly lost the spirit of his faith; et cetera.

Krusty the Clown is probably the oddest aspect of this symbolism. He was based on a style of entertainment that had already been on the wane by the late 80s – local children’s programming – and is virtually extinct nowadays. However, he was symbolic of the two faces of celebrity; he demonstrated the family-friendly public face, and the sleazy, money-chasing private facade. He got his own fast-food chain that sells slop to the townsfolk, will merchandise any sort of poorly-made product, blows through money like it’s no tomorrow (“I thought the Generals were due!”), dodges his taxes on an industrial scale, smokes like a chimney, drinks like a fish, is willing to sell intellectualism down the river (hence why Bob snapped), and has slept with countless one-night stands, resulting in many illegitimate children.

So, what if we were to take a look at one of those aspects individually? It’s been done before – “Bart the Fink” exposed his corruption (which was so brazen, it took five minutes from the start of the investigation to send him down). “Homie The Clown” looked at his horrid money habits. “Bart Gets Famous” looked at how he played into the fleeting nature of celebrity. And now, this – an expose into one of his illegitimate children entering his life, and this time, not as a made-for-tv movie.

Scullyfied Simpsons: “Pygmoelian” (Season 11, Episode 16)

“Homer, did you hear that? She called me handsome. Me! It’s like I’ve gone to heaven… uh, wait a minute. I died on the operating table, didn’t I?” “Yeah, but just for a minute. It’s a funny story; I’ll tell you sometime.” – Moe and Homer, proposing a much better storyline than, well, much of Season 11 so far.

Airdate: February 27th, 2000

Written By: Larry Doyle

Plot: A trip to the Duff Days festival has Moe win a bar-tending contest by a tongue. Literally, the “toss the drunk” contest has Barney stretch his tongue to give Moe the victory. He is therefore entitled to have his picture on the Duff calendar. Unfortunately, his relative unattractive facial structure results in his face being obscured by many stickers. Shocked by this censorship, Moe tries to get a facelift in order to at least be more physically attractive.

Review:

The past four episodes of The Simpsons that I’ve covered have actually astonished me, in a rather morbid and warped way. I mean, it has to say something, anything, when the best episode out of the prior four had barely any plot and no real ending whatsoever outside of mocking one show that wound up rising from the dead with a vengeance to become a quasi-rival to Our Favorite Family.

Otherwise, what we’ve been subjected to include the confirmation of Mr. Burns’ gutting as an effective antagonist, pirates invading a party yacht, the complete blowout of the show’s ties to reality thanks to underground jockeys and the attack of the Sesame Street characters, a death that is a million times worse than Kirk dying under a poorly-constructed bridge, some of the most disgusting behavior I’ve seen from a protagonist in many years, and an inability to write a coherent plot.

I’m not sure if this marks the show’s lowpoint – Al Jean’s era would see to challenge hat on several occasions – but I do think that these four episodes marked the point of no return. That even if the show did recover, that it was permanently tainted. At the very least, I would argue that these four episodes marked Mike Scully’s card in fandom forever – even with episodes that are worse produced later, Scully’s name is often tied with “Spock’s Brain” as a byword for terminal decline.

“Jockeys and jockeys. What are jockeys?”

Interestingly, “Pygmoelian” does demonstrate quite the improvement over the prior four episodes. Paradoxically, it does so while also altering the path of one of the show’s most famous secondary characters, Moe Szyslak.

Scullyfied Simpsons: “Grift of the Magi” (Season 11, Episode 9)

Give it time – something’s gonna happen involving a charter school, and somebody’s going to proclaim The Simpsons as having become Nostradamus yet again.

“Lisa in trouble – the ironing is delicious!”  – Bart Simpson. You see, this particular charter school doesn’t do much book learning.

Airdate: December 19th, 1999

Written By: Tom Martin

Plot: Springfield Elementary School is coerced into a construction project to bring the school up to code with the Americans with Disabilities Act. However, the Mafia in charge constructs an opulent ramp system… that breaks with a single touch… all while taking the money and running. Out of cash, and with nobody willing or able to fund the school, Springfield Elementary is turned into a charter – brought out by Kid First Industries. However, the new operator is not only poor at their educational philosophy themselves, but are using the school to do market research into a hot new toy.

Review:

Well, it’s the holiday season! Here’s hoping you’re all enjoying nice cocoa, hoping for a white Christmas, not getting tired of the 24/7 Christmas Music on the radio quite yet, and…

…wait, what the hell? It’s July? Everybody’s having burgers, celebrating the World Cup, and going to baseball games? They’re hanging out at the beach, eating ice cream, and going across their nation or down to Spain?

OK, did my fellow Americans at least have the common knowledge to learn from the defensive end from the greatest sports team to ever walk the Earth, and make sure the fireworks they set off on the fourth didn’t blow up in their hand?

Ah, what the hell, let’s watch some more Simpsons – “Grift of the Magi”.

“Grift of the Magi” is the fourth Simpsons Christmas special ever. The first, “Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire”, was the show’s opening salvo, demonstrating the working class dysfunction with a heart of gold that powered the show in its glory years. The second, “Marge Be Not Proud”, has been generally well-received, but a small contingent of fans led by one Dead Homer Society considers the episode the worst episode of the first seven years of The Simpsons, as well as the opening salvo of the show’s decline into more traditional sitcom-ish plots and cloying emotion. The third, “Miracle on Evergreen Terrace”, is more divisive – and I personally dislike it for its failure to achieve a decent tonal balance.

So here we are. Season 11. The Scully Era is in its third year, and the critical reception towards the show has soured, at least from the more devoted fans. How would they pull off this Christmas episode? Would it have been an improvement, proving they learned their lesson? Or would it have been disastrous as the writing crew stops giving a damn? Let’s take a look.

Scullyfied Simpsons: “Guess Who’s Coming to Criticize Dinner” (Season 11, Episode 3)

“Only your father can take a part-time job at a smalltown paper, and wind up the target of international assassins!” – Marge Simpson. Don’t worry, ma’am – at least he hasn’t become the enemy of the Federation of Jockeys. Yet.

Airdate: October 24th, 1999

Written by: Al “President for Life of The Simpsons” Jean.

Plot: While on a field trip to the Springfield Shopper newspaper, Homer winds up tracing the smell of food back to a food critic’s retirement party. His love of edibles convinces the paper’s editor (played by Ed Asner) to ask him to run a pilot. Unfortunately, he can’t write a good review, so Lisa helps him land the job. While things go well at first with his glowing analysis, he’s pressured to shift to a more critical tone. The lengths he goes in this new style not only alienate Lisa, but lead a mob of restaurant owners to plot his assassination.

Review:

The art of critique is strange. The cliché “everybody’s a critic” comes from the fact that anybody can look at a work of art and deem it either sublime or subpar. And on the age of the internet, even a dork like me can rant about Steven Universe, and somebody can read it before clicking onto Roger Ebert’s review of My Dinner With Andre. Such is the brilliance of our relatively egalitarian society, as well as the beauty of the internet.

But what, exactly, makes a good critic? That’s a question that can only result in subjective responses. If on one hand, you take a critical eye to everything, then you come off as an unpleasable grouch. On the other hand, if you take a positive view of everything, you come off as a sycophant to the show. The latter, personally speaking, is my biggest fear. I’ve criticized Gravity Falls and Steven Universe on occasion, but I sometimes wonder if I was (or am) too loose on occasion because I love(d) the show so much. And many of my early reviews, man… I don’t delete them on the grounds that, hey, we’ve all gotta look back on our early stuff sometimes and wonder how far we’ve come.

The art of critique is put on display in “Guess Who’s Coming to Criticize Dinner”, episode 3 of Season 11 of The Simpsons. So, let’s critique an episode… about critique…

…this is strangely meta…