Steven Universe Review: “What’s Your Problem?” (Season 5, Episode 20)

Amethyst: “I’m crashing!”
Steven: “But how does that make you feel?”
– I swear, this show’s critics had a field day with those two sentences.

Airdate: July 3rd, 2018

Written By: Katie Mitroff and Paul Villeco

Plot: Ruby has bolted from the Temple, leaving Sapphire distressed. With her and Pearl in emotional turmoil, it’s up to Steven and Amethyst to try and track Ruby down. However, Steven’s emotional investment in the hunt contrasts with Amethyst’s apparent lack of care. But are her distractions strategic in another way?

Review:

In the middle of 2016, the bell tolled for Steven Universe.

While working on Seasons 4 and 5, Rebecca Sugar was informed that Cartoon Network was turning off the tap. No new episodes of her series would be ordered. Steven Universe was facing death; the way things were going, it appeared doomed to end on a cliffhanger at best, and possibly horribly rushed at worst. It was not just an emotional turmoil having the show of her dreams (and, as of this writing, her magnum opus) sent to the wall, but so many questions could have been doomed to be unanswered, so many plot threads left in the lurch.

Fortunately for us fans, she got a partial reprieve from the network – the show got an extension on the season to wrap up major plot threads, then was granted a movie and a new epilogue miniseries. But you can just sense from this episode forward that the show was getting ready for the final bow. Even with the reprieve, you can see the show starting to wrap up as many remaining plot threads as humanly possible starting here. Not that Season 5 hadn’t already done so – Lars had his renaissance, Sadie had her new career, Connie re-centered herself, and we found out Rose Quartz was the product of reinvention. And now the time has come to complete the arcs of the Crystal Gems.

How apropos that we start with Amethyst, and how brilliant that the title of this outing is “What’s Your Problem”?

Steven Universe Review: “Letters To Lars” (Season 5, Episode 16)

“I guess me and the Big Donut have a lot in common: we’re both empty inside.” – Bill Dewey

Airdate: April 30th, 2018

Written By: Lamar Abrams and Colin Howard

Plot: Steven writes a letter to Lars to keep him aware of the changes that have gone on in Big City. Chief among them is Bill Dewey trying to rebuild his career after being voted out of office by the townspeople. But no matter what, he’s not quite able to find his place in the town he once ran.

Review:

Well, lads?

This is how any semblance of normality in the Steven Universe canon fades away.

Yes. We are two episodes from the most epochal moment in the original series, if not the entire franchise. There will be a twist that will re-contextualize so much about SU, from minute one to Season 5 and even Future, it is almost impossible to look at the show the way it was before. If ever we as fans had a sense of “innocence”, the remnants of this – largely chipped away by the likes of “Bismuth”, “Rose’s Scabbard”, “I Am My Mom”, “Mindful Education”, and “On the Run” – will be wiped off the map.

Endgame is brutal for any show, especially for us fans who became so invested in the characters and setting. For Steven Universe, it is going to be especially staggering, on par with some of the prestige dramas that upended any semblance of a status quo in their dying episodes.

And it gets even worse. Because the first hint of the shock to the system comes more like a compressional wave, a brief comment from Steven in the front half of the episode. Innocuous at the first airing, it would wind up setting in stage every single thing that occurs for the rest of the series. A much clearer lean into the show winding itself down comes in the form of a more standard, grounded wrap-up of the goings on around Beach City. It feels more like a traditional “show is ending soon” episode – close down the arcs for our side characters.

Enter “Letters to Lars”, the denouement for many of the Beach City Citizens (“Cityzens” – they can share with the Sky Blue Mancunians), particularly that of early entrant William Dewey.

Steven Universe Review: “The Big Show” (Season 5, Episode 14)

“I’m calling you from the other side…”

“Look up here – I’m in heaven
I’ve got scars that can’t be seen.
I’ve got drama, can’t be stolen.
Everybody knows me now…“
– “Lazarus”, David Bowie

Airdate: April 16th, 2018

Written By: Hilary Florido and Danny Cragg

Plot: In a fly-on-the-wall style documentary, we follow the goings-on of rock band Sadie Killer and the Suspects as they try and achieve their breakthrough concert. Thanks to a contact related to the film’s director, the band are booked for a gig in Empire City, in an attempt to prove their musical chops. All the while, Sadie is trying to smooth out her relationship with her once-overbearing mother.

Review:

In mid-November 2015, David Bowie filmed the music video for one of his upcoming singles, “Lazarus” off his soon-to-be-released album Blackstar. The video was simple yet striking; Bowie, his eyes bandaged, lay on his deathbed, ruminating on his life while another form of his – a possible representative of his past – is pulled into a wardrobe. The video perfectly fits the lyrics, where Bowie contemplates the potential afterlife, how he had played his life, and how the fans would react to the details of said life playing out in the lyrics of his music.

As the video was being recorded, doctors informed Bowie that his liver cancer, which he had been battling since 2014, had recurred and spread through his body; it was declared terminal, and treatment was stopped. The single was released on December 17th, and Blackstar went out on January 8th, 2016. Bowie died within 72 hours of the latter. “Lazarus” and Blackstar, intended as a musing of one’s morality, became The Starman’s epitaph.

The famous last words of David Robert Jones provide an extraordinary insight as to how we as pop culture connoisseurs and analysts read into the author’s intent and opinions. It speaks to what goes into the author’s mind, how we channel our trials and tribulations into the art we create, and how we connect to said art as consumers and patrons.

Anyway, here’s “The Big Show”. Sadie Miller working through her grief over an absent friend and issues with her mother to a ska/punk beat.

Steven Universe Review: “Lars of the Stars” (Season 5, Episode 11)

Accused and tried and told to hang
I was nowhere in sight when the church bells rang
Never was the kind to do as I was told
Gonna ride like the wind before I get old!
It is the night- my body’s weak.
I’m on the run, no time to sleep.
I’ve got to ride, ride like the wind, to be free again…
– “Ride like the Wind”, Christopher Cross

Airdate: January 5th, 2018

Written By: Lamar Abrams and Jesse Zuke

Plot: The Barriga parents have assembled a care package for their son, who is trapped in outer space with no quick path home. Steven and Connie team up to deliver the package to their friend. To their surprise, however, Lars has become the captain of a starship – a rebel starship! He and the Off Colors have become quasi-pirates in their quest to escape Homeworld. But will they be kneecapped by the bitter and vengeful commander of the ship they stole from? And whose ego will come back to bite them in the ass?

Review:

Let’s flashback a bit to June 2015. Having been interested in Steven Universe for months beforehand, I watched “Rose’s Scabbard” and immediately fell face-first into utter fandom. I become deeply invested in Rebecca Sugar’s world, characters, themes, yadda yadda yadda. I wrote and published my first review of the show on this silly little blog a month later and never looked back. Steven Universe had become one of my favorite shows, and the episodes that aired in the months and years since would largely validate that initial appraisal.

Now, let’s imagine that you, dear reader, found a way to go back in time, and for whatever reason (possibly to reduce the effects of causality-related chaos), decided that the best use of your time was to track me down and tell me the following three things:

• Leicester City, a soccer team that barely escaped relegation from the English Premier League in the most recent campaign, would go on to win the Premier League and stun gambling firms across the world, all while the defending champions struggled to finish 10th – and then get relegated seven years later;
• Steelers WR Antonio Brown would suffer a brutal hit during a playoff game, go insane (possibly thanks to CTE), alienate himself from three teams, release some terrible rap songs, and still win a Super Bowl ring with Tom Brady under center before Aaron Rodgers (who, by the way, took up homeopathic medicines) won a second;
• Lars, that angsty character from Steven Universe, would go on to be a kickass space pirate and captain a resistance against the show’s antagonists… after he technically died; and in doing so, would become one of the show’s more beloved characters.

If you were to tell me these three things back then, I would suspect you just consumed a substance previously unknown to humankind. Especially after you told me about that third point.

This is why I don’t gamble, guys.

Now, let’s also amend that last point – Lars would become a kickass space pirate and captain a resistance against the show’s antagonists, and the ensuring reveal of this would make me scream at my TV “Why the hell did we only see a part of this, Becky and Co?”

Because damn, “Lars of the Stars” alone is pretty cool, and it makes me wonder “what if”? Then again, I didn’t write it – I’m just reviewing it.

Steven Universe Review: “Kevin Party” (Season 5, Episode 10)

You walked into the party like you were walking onto a yacht
Your hat strategically dipped below one eye
Your scarf, it was apricot
You had one eye in the mirror as you watched yourself gavotte
And all the girls dreamed
That they’d be your partner, they’d be your partner…
– “You’re So Vain”, Carly Simon

Airdate: December 29, 2017

Written By: Danny Cragg and Hilary Florido

Plot: Steven is still searching for Lion, weeks after he decided to go hang with Connie during the latter’s anger at Steven, when Kevin shows up and invites the kid to a house party. His initial reluctance is shattered when he finds out that Connie was also invited. Finally, there is a chance to seek some sort of resolution to their rift… possibly.

Review:

Here we are, guys, gals, and non-binary pals! After several episodes of varying quality, we have reached the end of Steven Universe‘s Breakup Arc.

And it all ends with a Kevin-focused episode!

Isn’t Kevin our favorite character?

Anybody? Anyone?

Bueller?

Yeah, this is a rather interesting gamble on the writers’ part. Break up one of the show’s most compelling duos, and then bring them back together thanks to the guy that literally broke them apart in the first place… the guy that is one of the least likable characters in the SU canon. I don’t think there’s a single fan that likes him, and very few think he’s a particularly compelling antagonist. This is strange, given that the episodes he is in tend to be of at least “good” quality (“Alone Together” is a stone-cold classic), but that’s more due to other aspects within the episode. Compared to other SU baddies, it feels like he’s overshadowed.

But what if he were to take his final bow… by becoming a more pitiable character? In a way?

Look, we all know why we’re here – to fire the final shot of the “Breakup Arc” between Steven and Connie. It was gnawing at the show the past few episodes (“Sadie Killer” aside), and here, the arc is finally jettisoned into space. This really could’ve been an episode to just “get it over with”. In a way, it is. That said, “Kevin Party” is certainly rather well-executed.

Steven Universe Review: “Back to the Kindergarten” (Season 5, Episode 8)

“Across the sky, a change of time.
Last night, I lost a day.
I’m here and there, or anywhere
Away from Manderley…”
–“King of Rome”, Pet Shop Boys

Airdate: December 22, 2017

Written By: Katie Mitroff and Paul Villeco

Plot: Peridot’s life has reached a nadir – after Lapis legged it to space, she finds herself spending days in Steven’s tub in a depressive state. Unnerved by this turn of events, Steven and Amethyst drag her for some time out to the.. Kindegarten. What a desolate place, but Peridot has an idea – garden in the area to rehabilitate what she once destroyed. I mean, a flower managed to exist – maybe there is some hope after all?

Review:

We have reached rock bottom.

Not in terms of episode quality, mind you; while I think the Breakup Arc isn’t quite as memorable as other major Steven Universe arcs, I would take it over the ennui that composed stretches of Season 4, or even the awkwardness of early Season 1A. And if those are rock bottom, it speaks to the sheer quality that Steven Universe put out over six years and change. No, we’re at rock bottom for Steven and Peridot’s emotional state.

Kind of. Steven sort of suffers a breakdown during the events of Future, but that’s more of a catastrophic break after years of trauma; this is more of a malaise that resulted from a moment of emotional turmoil and unsteadiness, albeit not helped by the aforementioned trauma. And just as he was starting to adjust, bam, Lapis goes and legs it off the face of the planet… leaving Peridot in abject despair.

Steven Universe; it is a joyful show full of singing, crying, and singing while crying.

Well, once you hit rock bottom, the cliche states that you have nowhere to go but up. And to do so, we’re heading “Back to the Kindergarten”. Or as I like to call it? “Peridot attempts another redemption tour, and is rewarded with the show’s required emotional breakdown.”

Steven Universe Review: “Gemcation” (Season 5, Episode 6)

“Steven. You should join me. Become a raisin.” – Garnet. Sometimes, I just love taking quotes with no context and using them to intro the episode.

Airdate: December 15th, 2017

Written By: Madeline Queripel and Jesse Zuke

Plot: Steven is still unable to establish contact with Connie. The thought of losing what had been his best friend is eating away at him. Yet, Steven’s unable to open up to his loved ones. Thinking that he’s traumatized by the events of Homeworld, Greg and the Crystal Gems arrange for a trip to a cabin away from town. But will he open up to his loved ones there? And are they holding their own secrets?

Review:

This past July, I went on a weekend excursion to a Steven Universe state.

Sort of.

You see, my favorite soccer team, Arsenal FC, did a pre-season tour of the United States of America, their first major international tour since 2019. They had three dates here in the States – one against Everton in Baltimore, and two in Orlando (one against MLS club Orlando City, the second against newly-de-Abramoviched Chelsea). Given that Orlando tends to have brief but teeming rain and humidity combined with 90+F heat and has a subpar public transit system and decentralized attractions, I decided to hit up Charm City. At least I could ride Acela from there back to New York.

I got a hotel right on the Baltimore Inner Harbor (ow my wallet, kinda worth it) and got to check out some of America’s most historical ships – notably, the USS Constellation (the last sail-only ship commissioned by the US Navy) and WHEC-37 (formerly the USCGC Taney, the last floating ship that was present at the attack on Pearl Harbor.) In the evening, I took in a 2-0 win for London’s finest soccer club, against one of the two iconic Merseyside soccer teams – all at the M&T Bank Stadium, the home of the Baltimore Ravens. That weekend, I indulged my passion for history and sports in one of America’s largest and most historic cities. Knocking back a couple of pints post-match at a bar with fellow Gooners didn’t hurt, either.¹ It was one of the best nights of my rather young life. In the rat race world, I was able to escape and indulge myself for a few hours, and I got to see a part of the country that I had overlooked for too damn long.

There, now that you got my How I Spent My Summer Vacation presentation (don’t worry, you’re not getting a Patty and Selma-esque slide show), let’s talk about Steven’s considerably more sober vacation. A “Gemcation”, if you will. How does it impact Steven and his family?

Steven Universe Review: “Lars’ Head” (Season 5, Episode 4)

“I predict Lars will change in hue! What a mystery!” – Padparadscha.

Airdate: May 29th, 2017

Written By: Jeff Liu and Madeline Queripel

Plot: Lars is alive! Kind of – he’s become purple, has lost the need to eat and drink, and his hair now contains an alternate dimension that can transport Steven and others to and from, among other places, Earth. Steven explores this and comes out of Lars’ mane. He’s got his route home. But what about Lars and the Off-Colors?

Review:

Steven Universe is a show that started out as a seemingly episodic cartoon. You go back to Season 1A, and you could watch any episode of the first 24 in order, and there would be relatively few ways to get confused. You can get a fine sense of the characters, how they interact with one another, how they impact the world. It seemed like the series was following in the footsteps of Rebecca Sugar’s run in Adventure Time – some hints at continuity, but otherwise a slice-of-life cartoon about a boy and his lesbian alien mothers.

How we were fooled.

Enter Season 5, and we are now ending one arc, the Trial arc. Yet, that’s not all. as I’ve mentioned before, we are now in a stretch of continuity-impacted episodes (with scant few exceptions) that will take us through the end of the series. Steven Universe has embraced the space opera inside of itself, and it is going to put up no mercy until the very end.

“Lars’ Head” ends one chapter, but the story will march forward. To be sure, this is a transition episode, and there is little doubt about it, so there won’t be much in this review. However, it does a more than adequate job at closing down this particular strand. And, we get a bit of Homeworld worldbuilding on the side, how governments can use propaganda to exaggerate, if not lie about, their military and cultural successes.

So where were we?

Oh, right. Steven Universe can raise the fecking dead with his tears. And as this episode reveals, turn them into a magical dimensional door to hop between Earth and various other worlds.

Steven Universe Review – “Stuck Together” (Season 5, Episode 1)

“At least I make a great seat cushion.” – Lars.

Airdate: May 29th, 2017

Written By: Jesse Zuke

Plot: Steven and Lars are now in an inevitable position – Homeworld Prisoners. As they are carted off to the depths of outer space to face an eternity in Homeworld Jail (if they are lucky), the duo reflect on how they wound up in this position. There is a lot of introspection, regret, and self-deprecation.

Review:

It’s fairly interesting to think that two of the first characters we saw in the Steven Universe series proper were the titular character and Lars.

I mean, to us fans, it might not be that shocking. But imagine somebody who never watched or heard of Steven Universe before. They switch the show on, see this kid crying about the discontinuation of his favorite ice cream treat to this snarky donut shop employee and his more levelheaded and empathetic workmate. And second later, they’re pushed off to the side, as Steven returns to his family of alien amazons, all of whom would become some of the most cherished characters in 2010s animation. While “Gem Glow” is an interesting baseline for the series as a while, the first-time viewer might be wondering if Lars is just an incidental character.

Indeed, up to this point, he was… and not necessarily for the better. His ornery tone, snarky aura, and oft-role as the apparent butt of jokes seemed to put him in contrast with the show in general, where even the deep flaws of the characters were played in a sincere manner. It helped make him one of the least liked characters for some time, to the point where “The New Lars” resulted in somewhat larger amounts of condemnation from the fandom – rare for a Steven Universe episode, especially during the show’s “imperial phase”. Would it really be a tragedy if the writers decided to just write him off the show?

Oh, the way things evolve. The plans the writers had.

Welcome to the Lars Renaissance. And it ties into Steven’s Crucible.

This is the Trial Arc, and we are here, “Stuck Together”.

Steven Universe Review: Season 4 Wrap-Up

…well, that took me longer than I anticipated. Ain’t life weird? But I’ve finally done it – I worked my way through Season 4 of the animated sci-fi dramedy Steven Universe. And I’m not going to bury the lede any further. Season 4 is the weakest season of Steven Universe, relative to expectations.

Shocking? No. Most Steven Universe fans tend to rank either Season 1A or Season 4 as the weakest season. And this is a case where Season 1A gets the advantage of being a show trying to find itself. So that leaves Season 4 as the odd man out.

But is it bad? Oh, far from it. There are just a few things that I felt this season fell a bit short on compared to its compatriates.