Scullyfied Simpsons: “A Tale of Two Springfields” (Season 12, Episode 2)

Out here in the fields, I fight for my meals
I get my back into my living
I don’t need to fight to prove I’m right
I don’t need to be forgiven
– “Baba O’Riley”, The Who.

Airdate: November 5th, 2000

Written By: John Swartzwelder.

Plot: Attempting to dial an exterminator to remove a badger from his property, Homer finds out that the town has split into two separate area codes. This continues to frustrate him, and he finally loses his patience when he misses out on Who tickets. At a town hall meeting, he concludes that the working-class side of town was stuck with memorizing the new area code, and proposes the town split. He is appointed mayor, where his tenure rapidly goes off the rails.

Review:

Well, we’ve done it. Season 12 of The Simpsons. We’ve passed the 75% mark.

While we officially entered Season 12 with the last episode, this episode, by not being a Treehouse of Horror, really kicks proceedings off for really real. This is a nice way of saying that the countdown to the end is starting. Yup, from this point forward, we are all but counting down to the bitter end of this series of reviews chronicling what might be the greatest collapse of a TV series in history.

I am not enthused, as you can probably tell. Three seasons of watching the series decay will do that to a man.

Anyway, Season 12 begins with the show ripping itself off, as is tradition. This time, the show decides to revisit a plot element from earlier in the Scully era (make of that what you will). Remember back in “Trash of the Titans”, when Homer rode a wave of insolence based off his selfish desires to the office of sanitation commissioner, destroying the town in the process.

So, let’s now make him mayor of half the town because of his insolence, fueled by his own selfish desires, and have him lay waste to half the town in the process!

SEASON 12, AHOY!

It takes a whopping three minutes for the plot to start up. Fair play here, it took “Saddlesore Galactica” six minutes to start up. That said, within those three minutes, you know it’s a good sign when a badger manages to take half of the IQ points out of Bart (he’s apparently downright illiterate now) and does a number on the already decimated Homer. The purpose is… uh, attacking Homer’s body to the point where he was able to get under his shirt from his head and expose his innards. And we get to see said internal organs after Homer lifts his shirt.

I wish I never had to write those words. Pretty clear with that move that this show was trying to take on South Park, except here, the vulgar and disturbing humor comes off as gratuitous rather than amusing.

Things can only get better, right? Uh, no.

The issue de jeur lies in Homer’s inability to dial the added area code required to access the other side of town, where the pest removal company is located. Alright, let’s pretend for a second that this is the case instead of, you know, the overlay area code. (We’ve actually gotten a new area code in my part of Long Island within the past few years, for example.) Apparently, this is too much for Homer’s brain, as he undergoes a mental breakdown over this news… that was announced months ago and repeatedly. Congratulations, writers – Homer has ascended to levels of idiocy that I never thought possible.

Alright, one could argue that this whole episode is meant to be a farce. It probably would’ve worked if The Simpsons had always been a farce. Instead, it just comes off as unbecoming of the show, to the point where it culminates in what is likely my second least favorite Homer moment of all time… at a town hall meeting to debate the Area Code change, he has strapped dynamite to his body, and after watching the Phone Company’s presentation defending the change, even attempts to set it off.

I did not make that up. Our protagonist downright strapped a bomb – not Armor Hot Dogs tied together, an actual bomb – to his chest, and was willing to blow it up, likely creating many casualties. Over area codes. The only thing standing between him and mass carnage was poor wiring.

You know what? This is a genuine contender for the worst scene in the history of The Simpsons. The “Ambulance Zone” scene from “Alone Again” was a misguided attempt to be sweet, ruined by an utterly tasteless attempt at comedy that proved the show had lost its soul. Gaga kissing Marge in “Lisa Goes Gaga” was more proof that the show had become every television cliche that it once scorned or twisted around.

This all but cements Homer’s character assassination – an area code terrorist who should be stuck inside ADX Florence. It’s indisputably the worst thing he’s ever done. This goes far beyond chickening out from a kidney transplant, trying to duck guilt in Maude’s death the way he did, or firing a tranquilizer in Marge’s neck. There he was sociopathic – here, he’s a deranged monster who needs to be tackled by cops.

Compare to South Park, which demonstrated Cartman crossing the line into outright villainy mere months later in “Scott Tenorman Must Die”. Not only was that episode well-constructed, but the impact of his moral decay was actually treated somewhat realistically. Yes, he escapes without any karma, but pretty much the entire town is mortified at what the hell he did. Even Trey Parker and Matt Stone have referred to that episode as epochal in his character development.

Here? Homer becomes mayor of the town that forms after he convinces half of them to leg it. Without watching, you would swear that the townspeople were terrified of this utter psychopath who was some good wiring away from wiping them all out. Thankfully, the show is so inept that Homer manages to become persuasive, decrying the fact that the 636 Area Code remained with the more upper-class side of the town while 939 was sent to the lower-class section. Which I guess isn’t a bad bit of satire onto how the working class get screwed over, used as guinea pigs for corporations and governments who really patronize them. (Too bad it’s as subtle as, you know, activating a suicide vest over area codes.)

Really, Homer’s a maniac across the entire episode. The only justification for this behavior here has to be that, much like “Saddlesore Galactica”, the writers heard complaints about an aspect of the show – in this case, Homer’s increasing insanity and callousness – and drove it up out of spite to tell us who was in charge. Uh, you know even if you don’t have Pay TV, there were five other networks in the US?

Anyway, back on topic, New Springfield and Olde Springfield are formed. I guess they were trying to do “rich v. poor”, but instead, it comes off as more “slobs v. snobs”, on the grounds that the perpetually underpaid teaching staff apparently makes enough to live on the rich side of town. Alright, this show is forgetting its own satire and basic character dynamics now, that’s always a bloody good sign. I mean, otherwise, it’s not awful comedy as far as “backfire of sabotage” plot elements is concerned.

Further, as far as I’m concerned, this episode winds up with some parallels to the separation of Germany, what with a suspicion of the other in a region that was once united, at least politically. Hell, even the kids begin to attack each other over being “New” vs. “Old”. Allegory, I suspect so. Even the former citizens begin to turn on one another, suspect a searing contempt for the other due to their government’s behavior and the societal attitudes within.  One could argue that New Springfield is a stand-in for Eastern Germany (and Berlin), as well as the Soviet Union that held the East under their thumb, whereas Old Springfield is symbolic of Western Germany, Western Berlin, and the United States. Interpret the stereotypes within New Springfield and Old Springfield as you see fit.

If you read it like that, the satire actually becomes a bit more efficient. Still not the best writing, but somewhat more creative than mere “snobs vs. slobs”. (Ironically, The Simpsons debut at the tail end of the Cold War, and even had some references to the fading conflict dating back as far as “The Crepes of Wrath”.)

To this end, Homer becomes so disgusted with the wealth over in New Springfield, he decides to build a wall to separate the sides for good and all. Walter Ulbricht would be proud. Unfortunately, Homer forgot that people generally like to go to grocery stores to get their food. And go to hospitals to get treated. And go to school every once and a while. And provide sewage to – you know what, Homer Simpson manages to screw up so badly that everybody and their mother climbs over the wall no sooner than it is announced, leaving New Springfield depopulated. Again, this was because Homer was too stupid and/or entitled to memorize three extra numbers to dial a telephone.

Some very, very slight credit to this episode, though. Homer’s constant barrage of selfish insanity winds up seriously backfiring on him in ways that don’t involve him getting critically injured… partially because he takes care of that himself across the entire episode, but more importantly, it shows hints of a permanent disgrace. In many episodes, he skates scot-free. Glad he got at least some karma with this little batch of poor civic participation. In that regard, this episode already sits above “Alone Again” and “Kill the Alligator and Run”. Then again, a half-hour where nothing but a test pattern was screened would do much the same.

Of course, this winds up swinging back a bit when Homer and Bart, in a last-ditch attempt to give their side of the town any sort of credibility, manage to get access to The Who.

Alright, full disclosure – as of this writing, I like The Who about as much as I like most of the rock bands that are spun on Q104.3. They’re probably my least favorite of the “Big Three” 60s English Rock bands (The Stones have more singles that I love, and I admire The Beatles more and more as I age), but damn it if “Baba O’Riley” isn’t one of the most well-constructed and epochal rock songs of all time. I guess my like of them and their music over that of Kid Rock and Joey C makes their cameo appearance go down a bit easier. That, and they do play a more active role in interacting with the overall plot, and it makes sense that Homer would admire their music.

Don’t get me wrong – they’re guest stars for the sake of having guest stars, and there’s rather little satire of their personalities. I mean, it’s not as bad as “When You Dish Upon A Star” in that regard, but it’s still rather jarring compared to, say, “Homerpalooza”. But, you know what, this plot has to be wrapped up anyway, so let’s get it over with so I can move forward with this season and my life.

Homer manages to get The Who to play in New Springfield. Thus, the kudos I gave to Homer being deserted by most of the town is deserted as he manages to swing the attitudes of one of the world’s most famous rock bands to play on top of a wall made of garbage. Then again, one could call that more “rock and roll” than performing at a stadium, one could gather. A riot breaks out, Daltry brings up the existence of Speed Dial, and the conflict is pretty much resolved. Yeah, not the best ending to an episode ever, but then again, “Mad, Mad Marge” exists.

In fact, here is where my last bit of positive points for this episode come in. With Homer too distracted by the allure of rock music to destroy the wall, Pete Townshend decides to take matters into his own hands. He turns to his amp up to max, throws down the first chord, and as the wall crumbles, Roger Daltry delivers the iconic yell that launches “Won’t Get Fooled Again”. I’m sorry, but these few seconds are some of the best “post-classic” Simpsons out there. The animation direction makes it feel epic, and the song… well, that’s pretty much the irony of this episode. Half the townsfolk traded off a patronizing jackass for an incompetent jackass. They tipped their hat to the new constitution, took a bow for the new revolution, and it backfired on them.

Meet the new boss
Same as the old boss.

That whole aura pretty much rescues The Who from the list of “Worst Guest Stars in The Simpsons History”. It’s a rather competitive list, but thankfully, Roger Daltry, Paul Townshend, and John Entwhistle all stay out of the competition.

It’s weird, but they are likely the bright spot in an otherwise chaotic episode.

Really, this episode comes rather close to being “So Bad It’s Good”, if only because it’s less aggressive in telling the audience to go suck a lemon than “Galactica”, less cloying than “Alone Again”, and somewhat more coherent compared to “Kill the Alligator and Run”. But let me put it this way; I will take an insane plot over a botched character every day, and botched characterization is where this episode fails. Homer has rarely been so odious and downright deluded, a sentiment that is cemented when he chloroforms his wife at the end of the episode. Beautiful.

“A Tale of Two Springfields” is not a particularly good sign for the rest of the season. Between the botched characterization, the very mixed bag when it comes to comedy (with more misses than hits this time around), and the plot not being particularly memorable… really, I can just hope that the “Treehouse of Horror” isn’t the best episode of the season. It probably won’t be, but still, what a way to kick off proceedings.

Tidbits:

• Only one, really – this episode does not feature two of the members of The Who, Peter Townshend and Keith Moon. Townshend was under the impression that he would just have his likeness used instead of his voice, while Moon has spent his time since 1978 being dead of a drug overdose. It is kind of heartwarming that they used Moon’s likeness as a tribute, and it is moving to hear John Entwistle, given that he too would die two years later. Don’t do coke, kids.
• The Chalkboard Gag for this episode is “I will not plant subliminal messagores.” Great – in one year, The Simpsons jinxed Bush into 1600 Penn and predicted Trump’s tenure in the White House. How does that happen? (Coincidentally, both winning candidates didn’t get a plurality of the popular vote. The Electoral College is quite the democratic method…)
• Also, the writers set up a site about what badgers eat. Archived here in all it’s Y2K-era Internet glory. Before you do so, I’d recommend your 28.8 kilobaud Internet connection to a 1.5-megabit fiber-optic T1 line. Just standard procedure.

Wrap-Up

Zaniness Factor: 3.5 Area codes drive half the town to rebel and follow a madman, and The Who reunites them. It still could be worse…

Jerkass Homer Meter: This gets a 5 more out of obligation, but let’s be honest here. Jerkass is too nice a description for Homer’s behavior across this episode. Remember when I compared him to the Sixth Doctor? Consider this an apology for such a rash comparison – I shouldn’t have degenerated the Sixth Doctor that way.

Favorite Scene: Again, the moment when The Who utterly shatter the wall with the power of rock. Cheesy, yet, but it works.

Least Favorite Scene: The dynamite. It’s incredible – that screenshot above? You can officially pinpoint the exact moment that whatever little shred of relatability Homer had shriveled up and died. I no longer give a damn about what happens to his character.

Score: 2.5. Meet the new season, same as the old season…