Steven Universe Review: “The New Crystal Gems” (Season 4, Episode 15)

“New Crystal Gems, congregate! …that means get together and do a cool pose!” – Peridot

Airdate: February 10th, 2017

Written By: Raven Molisee and Paul Villeco.

Plot: Steven and the Crystal Gems return from a little trip to outer space. Upon their return, they get a status update from Connie, explaining what had happened in the interim.

It turns out that Connie encountered Lapis and Peridot while trying to protect the Beach House. With all three given orders to protect Beach City, they decide to put their teams together for the good of the hometown. However, the trio’s attempts to emulate the Crystal Gems ultimately run into issues… as their management of a Car Wash proves somewhat problematic.

Review:

Connie Maheswaran.

Lapis Lazuli.

Peridot Facet-2F4l Cut-5XG.

Three Steven Universe characters, and one could make an argument for each one serving as the show’s most prominent supporting character, as well as some of the most popular in the… well, passionate Steven Universe fandom. Connie is the love interest re-imagined, the straight woman to Steven’s optimism with elements of a traditional protagonist in her own right. Lapis Lazuli is a tragic character, a neutral caught in the middle of hell time and time again to the point where she starts to manifest her trauma in a variety of ways. And Peridot… well, Peridot went from “menacing threat” to “screwball”, to the most universally accepted example of how the series has the tendency to redeem antagonists, to “generally lovable if somewhat socially tone-deaf nerd.”

I would argue that these three characters aided in launching the series into its “imperial phase” during 2015 and 2016. Connie is almost the perfect foil to our main character while being an outstanding addition to the cast in her own right. Lapis spoke to the complexities of PTSD and trauma that the audience could face. And Peridot, well, she fit the mold for the “breakout character” archetype, comic relief with a side order of a glorious redemption arc.

Three fan favorite characters. A nice magical number for characters to bounce off of each other. Putting them together in an episode, quite frankly, is a key for instant success!

Welp, time to put my flame retardant suit on, because I’m not a mega-fan of “The New Crystal Gems”.

I know which fandom I’m a part of; I expect this. Lapidot shippers and Steven Universe stans, if you would give me time to explain myself before you tear me to shreds? Because there are aspects of this episode that I genuinely like, and the end product is not necessarily a bad script! There are just some weaknesses within that bring it lower than I feel the broader concept deserves.

I think a big issue I have with this particular outing is that “The New Crystal Gems” lays bare an issue that the series has overall, one that adversely impacts the show’s back half more than it does the front half. I’ve mentioned it before, but it bears repeating – the limited perspective that the series utilizes leads to a lot of possible character interactions and moments being left on the table. The fact that the series remains as good as it does is a testament to the writers room, but it feels like more could’ve been done to cement this series as a masterpiece.

After all, how would Connie react to being sent on Homeworld? How would she act on a genuine rescue mission, a trial by fire? Interacting with the Crystal Gems as they face interstellar bigotry? Maybe it would work to demonstrate the development found in “Mindful Education”. We do see her go to Homeworld in season 5, but in this season, she’s left off on the side somewhat. I might not mind if not for some of the episodes this season brought us – “Onion Gang”, “Future Boy Zoltron”, “Tiger Philantrophist”, and “Rocknaldo”, all of which felt like somewhat inconsequential scripts. Feels like a waste of time that could’ve been used to flesh out her character further than it has been.

Incredibly, much the same can be applied to Lapis Lazuli and Peridot. The duo spend much of this season in what can be considered “domesticity” – roommates in the barn on the outskirts of town, they remain rather static through much of Season 4. I get that the writers reached a certain stasis with Peridot, but Lapis is one of the show’s most interesting characters! There’s so much insider her that a writer could peel back with regards to her backstory, her allegiances, her personal mindscape, you name it. So to underutilize her really serves to shortchange the season and, to a lesser extent, the series.

But we do have a shot here. “The New Crystal Gems”, where we find out that Connie was given orders to protect Beach City while Steven and the Crystal Gems were sauntering off in space. (Steven rushed off the planet immediately, not waiting the thirty minutes it would’ve taken for Connie to take the bus into town. I guess in the panic, it makes sense.) Turns out Lapis and Peridot received the same orders from Garnet. They discover this when Connie hears noises in Steven’s house, and barges into the bathroom… where Peridot is showing Lapis around.

So, we have our core trio for the episode, plus Pumpkin! (Yup, he appears to have survived well past the “thanksgiving” season. Good boy.) And Lapis and Peridot doubt Connie’s competence in protecting Beach City. This appears understandable – Lapis and Peridot have had limited interaction with humanity, and the few that they have met beyond Steven didn’t seem nearly as badass in their interactions as Steven has. This, concurrently, has had a detrimental impact on their view of humanity, a view that already appears inhibited by the Gems xenophobic sentiment (if the Crystal Gems are any indication).

Further, Peridot requests that the quartet team up specifically to fill the roles that the original Crystal Gems fit. And in a way, this is a bit meta. Steven Universe took the aura of a stock sitcom family as symbolized by the Crystal Gems – Garnet the stoic and wise “father”, Pearl the neurotic “mother”, Amethyst the snarky and rebellious tomboy “daughter”, Steven the childish yet empathetic “son” – and examined and occasionally deconstructed each role in a way that fleshed out every single character. Peridot’s insistence that she, Lapis, Connie, and Pumpkin fit the stock form of these roles is the show mocking the idea that one can have preconceptions of these characters from an initial glance. We’ve spent time with the Crystal Gems, got to know them and see them develop into better and more complex versions of themselves. Peridot… well, she has seen the Crystal Gems from different angles, but not quite as much as the average viewer. Lapis, less so.

Indeed, the four wind up fitting roles that ultimately serve as their most prominent opposite.

Peridot takes on Garnet’s role, and she is gloriously miscast for the role she assigns herself. The two characters are foils in a sense – rejected by Homeworld for who they were, one was made up of a bureaucrat and a grunt who were driven away, the other had her innate talents muted and was implied to have been placed in “limb enhancers” and kept as a cog in the machine for years. However, Garnet’s known for her devotion to stoicism, rarely losing her temper, is broadly friendly even in some of her stoic moments, and serves as a genuine leader of the Crystal Gems, albeit in a “first among equals” sense (especially after Steven learns about his power suite). Peridot? Her stoic facade gave way rapidly, she’s known to be rather acerbic and is still getting a grasp on empathy, and while there are moments of taking charge (“Gem Drill” and “Kindergarten Kid”), she is doing her own thing a lot of a time, really embracing the idea of the Crystal Gems being a partnership of equals. Garnet is generally selfless, although her stoicism can bring on an unintentional aloofness; Peridot still has a rather monumental ego.

The big parallel is how they found themselves, through a mission gone awry. Garnet was formed when Ruby spurred fate, not only forcing Homeworld to confront the unknown (to less than pleasant results), but forcing Sapphire and Ruby to confront their own philosophies and sentiments on fate. Peridot was drawn even with the Crystal Gems, lost her limb enhancers, and had to deal with her former enemies. Through her experiences, she began to grasp the concepts of empathy and egalitarianism (albeit vaguely), and eventually gambled on trying to save the Crystal Gems… the failure of which caused her to defect for good.

Lapis and Amethyst, meanwhile, are a bit closer in tone. They’re both deeply tragic figures who have a streak rooted in a certain brand of humor as a facade; sad clowns, many would argue. And how they express themselves can be somewhat blunt and insensitive. Their “pivotal” episodes, coincidentally, represented turning points in the show’s tone – “Ocean Gem” established the show’s myth arc, whereas “On the Run” took the show’s reputation for heartbreaking moments and cranked it to eleven. Where they differ is how they express their behavior.

Amethyst is a lot more extroverted, the life of any party is the applicable cliche here. She’s forthright in her attempts to bring joy, but buries her agony deep inside of her, leading to it coming out in rather dramatic and somewhat blunt fashion. She’s rather attached to the world around her, in a way. Lapis, in contrast, is more detatched, willing to let her inner agony slowly seep out of her, not particularly concerned with keeping up emotional appearances. It’s a key difference in their emotional state, and one that serves to make them foils.

Pumpkin and Pearl, well, that’s a more morbidly humorous contrast. Need I remind you that Pearls on Homeworld are, at best, glorified secretaries. At worst, they are sentient lawn decorations, and one could argue that they are treated as borderline pets for the Homeworld elites. The Pearl we’re all familiar with took societal expectations of her to the literal sword, and lives a liberated and free existence on Homeworld, to the joy of her compatriots. Pumpkin is literally a pet, acting like a joyful dog. In this case, it’s societal marginalization leading to dehumanization versus Pumpkin not acting like a Humanoid in the first place. Also, Lapis and Peridot appear to hold Pearl in contempt, but they absolutely adore their pet Pumpkin.

And this leads us to Steven and Connie. Shocked? Don’t be.

I remember touching on this before, but in case I didn’t, Steven and Connie’s partnership is aided via their contrasts. Steven is surprisingly Id-driven, very emotional in how he conducts business and wearing his heart on his sleeve, whereas Connie is somewhat more intellectually driven and slightly more reserved when it comes to personal composure. Steven has a natural empathetic charisma, whereas Connie is more logical and more emotionally reserved, albeit at the cost of some persuasion on her part. Steven is the superhero who is in touch with his humanity; Connie is the human who wants to be a classical heroine. Steven is the deconstruction of the superhero; Connie is the reconstruction of her aforementioned archetype.

And the real non-starter for the “Crystal Temps”? Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, and Steven have fourteen years of history between the quartet. Before Steven, the trio spent thousands of years together under Rose’s leadership. There is a dynamic that has been evolving as far back as the earliest human civilizations. Replicating that are two aliens who haven’t even known each other a year (and hated each other at first for obvious reasons), a child who only knew the one whose role she was replacing for the same amount of time, and a pet that was only born weeks earlier. Such a task is a gamble for the most experienced of interpersonal dynamics. This one formed in this very episode.

Yeah, this might not end well.

So, how do the “Crystal Temps” go about their defense of Beach City? Look at the possibilities! Consider Ronaldo going up against the Crystal Temps – two aliens and a woman not as friendly as the eternally friendly Steven. Ronaldo has proven himself to be a somewhat malign figure in the Beach City ecosystem, and maybe he would be a fascinating first adversary. We have Kevin, a narcissist who belittled Connie. Having her deal with that dumpster fire on her own would be interesting, and having the Crystal Temps as backup would be amusing. (Indeed, Connie does go to a party hosted by Kevin without Steven early in Season 5.) And hey, there are several video games that had the Crystal Gems fight off other Homeworld Gems and corrupted Gems. Surely someone along those lines would make an appearance to give the Crystal Temps a baptism by fire? Or maybe create a new human antagonist,

What do we get?

Connie, Lapis, and Peridot… operate Greg’s car wash in his absence.

And here is where I believe this episode falls short. Further, I believe that this exposes a crucial flaw in Season 4. The show… feels somewhat more insular than it should.

Feels is the operative word. After all, we did get hints at a larger Earth environment with Andy, we got to see South Korea, and we just came back from space! So it might seem like everything is chugging along. The issue is in the execution – more specifically, how this leads to a lot of ideas being left on the table.

Because in execution, “The New Crystal Gems” is but a townie episode. Yeah, I said it. Connie and the Crystal Temps hang out with the townsfolk, and a clash of cultures ensues. Discounting characters, how is this different from what we got in Season 1, from the likes of “Beach Party”, “Arcade Mania”, “Joking Victim”, et al? I don’t mind the Townies on principle, but it seemed like the series could step above them. Continued reliance on them is drying the well somewhat, and while I really like some of the “townsfolk” centered episodes going forward, the concept of exploring the town feels long in the tooth at this point. Especially when there is so much more world-building we could get from Homeworld, so many ways to explore our antagonists, so many ways we could see Lapis and Peridot in battle together – not washing cars!

I’m aware that Sugar wasn’t exactly betting on the original show getting axed after Season 5, but this is why you should treat every season like you won’t get another one. Because the amount of show to explore the world is running out rapidly. And episodes like this feel like the show dragging its feet.

And a reminder – not every episode has to advance the overall plot. “Rose’s Scabbard” is my oft-cited favorite episode of the series, and that serves more as a character piece than a plot-heavy piece. I love that episode for what it brings to the table, one of the most beautiful scripts in animated television history. It takes a simple premise – Pearl finds the titular scabbard – and draws every bit of emotional impact out of the scenario. It exceeds every expectation that one would expect. “The New Crystal Gems”, in contrast, has a concept that feels like it could lend itself to a much more intensive episode – Connie teaming up with Lapis and Peridot – and uses it for a light episode.

I get that this was trying to be more of a comedy piece, which does assuage my sentiment somewhat. But for a show that garnered fame from peeling back hidden emotional layers, this all feels a bit… simpler.

Alright, to be fair, there is some tension when it comes to the story of the day. While the first day goes well, Lapis and Peridot do wind up in a conflict of egos that brings events to a crawl at the Car Wash, packed in part due to their antics. Yellowtail’s truck winds up caught in the crossfire. Connie can’t speechify them into peace and self-improvement the way Steven could, and the venture rapidly falls apart into infighting. This, again, is fine in execution, and it is a demonstration of how the real-life personalities of Lapis, Connie, and Peridot don’t correspond to a long-term partnership at this time.

But it does sting when you realize the closest we get to a reunion of the Crystal Temps after this episode is at the end of Season 5. And even then, it’s deeply qualified – it’s the show’s grand team-up before The Movie and Future. The Crystal Temps ultimately prove themselves a one-off, seemingly hamstrung by the show’s perpetual “Steven POV”. It has its benefits, but man, the drawbacks make me wonder “what if”? What would it have been like to see Lapis, Connie, and Peridot go to Homeworld in the prior arc? What would it have been like if they had teamed up in later arcs?

I guess that’s up for us fans to decide and write in fanfiction. There are things in Steven Universe that drew a broad church of fans to that show – even if there are elements of the execution we think we would handle differently if we were in charge, that doesn’t make the show as a whole any less brilliant for what it brought to the table.

So, yeah. “The New Crystal Gems”. The lesson of the episode is rather simple – “be yourself”. More specifically, “don’t try and follow in the exact footsteps of your idols or predecessors”. You are your own entity, and your strengths are different than the strengths of anybody else. We saw this in “Friend Ship“, “Back to the Barn“, even “Rose’s Scabbard” (“I think you’re pretty great”), you name it. In a way, it does run concurrently with how Steven is trying to deal with his mother’s legacy, and how he becomes increasingly stunned the more he learns. What would’ve been a cliche in some other hands instead comes off as somewhat clever and creative.

There is quite a bit to like in “The New Crystal Gems”, again. The exploration from a slightly different POV is always appreciated, and the character dynamics between the Crystal Temps are rather insightful. Most of my complaints regarding this episode are from what it doesn’t do or say, the opportunities I felt were overlooked, and how it plays into many of the show’s perceived and actual flaws. Simply, for an episode with this character dynamic, it suffers an uncomfortable lightness.

I know that there are many people who cite this episode as among their favorites, or at the very least, would rank it highly in their personal Steven Universe table. And that’s excellent! Again, this fandom is a broad church, and I do see the appeal of this episode for many people! I just don’t share the same enthusiasm. “The New Crystal Gems” is alright, but to my eyes, it is unfortunately underwhelming.

There.

Now you can tear me to shreds.

Tidbits:

• Note that Peridot was giving a Lapis a tour of the Beach House bathroom… while swirling in the toilet, apparently giving an exact demonstration of her failed escape. It didn’t work. Trust me, she and Amethyst tried.
• Do you think Connie’s mother and father noticed that her daughter apparently slept in Steven’s beach house bed while the kid was away? I know they’ve loosened up somewhat, but this is still a notable question.
• Note the vandalism of Mayor Dewey’s van. Resentment against the Beach City government is reaching high levels. I see an eccentric old lady running against the machine soon…

Wrap-Up:

Favorite Scene: Honestly, there isn’t a singular scene that stood out to me. I guess Connie’s first meeting with Lapis and Peridot?

Best Character: Peridot steals the scene again. Her ego is brilliantly displayed, and Shelby Rabara proves once again the comedic limits of the character.

Memorable Quote: “Maybe he’s really patient and caring, even though it must be hard for him having to be the adult for a bunch of super-powered children!” – Connie losing her cool at Lapis and Peridot. Let’s be real here – Lapis and Peridot are basically alien teenagers at this point. Steven is dealing with a lot when it comes to his friends. This might not bode well in the Future.

Verdict: This is a tough one. In spite of my own personal disappointment, this episode is rather competent and amusing on a more objective level.

You know what? I’m going to err on the side of positivity and give this a Silver. Barely. “Barn Mates” delivered a similar sense of disappointment in me, but that had more questionable character development. This episode has better character interactions, even if I felt the plot was somewhat more lackluster than it should have been.

I’m going to send this in at #93, edging out “Gem Heist” and elevating “Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service”.

Alright, we’ll be heading back to Infinity Train next. Let’s take a trip to “The Crystal Car”.