Infinity Train Review: “The Crystal Car” (Book One, Episode 4)

Introducing the Magic Orb that accesses Your Spotify Playlists!

“When I was young, I would listen to the radio
Waiting for my favorite songs
When they played, I’d sing along.
It made me smile.
Those were such happy times, and not so long ago
How I wondered where they’d gone.
But they’re back again, just like a long lost friend
All the songs I loved so well…
– “Yesterday Once More”, the Carpenters

Airdate: August 6th, 2019

Written By: Lindsay Katai

Plot: Traveling through the Infinity Train, Tulip has mellowed out somewhat, yet is still trying to find the rationale behind the ride. Enter the Crystal Car, whose universe engine… well, it’s what it says on the tin. To get out of this car, Tulip and her friends must relay a song with emotional resonance. But is Tulip willing to dive into her soul to find that emotional piece of pop? And need it be emotional, per se?

Review:

Be warned – this review might be a bit more “personal” than others that I’ve published. Which, admittedly, is half the reason I put it off for a bit longer, punting it and stalling on it for what seemed like a while. (Making ground on Steven Universe was just a convenient justification… or at least an excuse.) Anyway…

…it’s the Winter of 2005/06.

My family had taken a vacation down to Florida – more specifically, the Central part of the state. One particular part of the trip involved visiting both my uncle and aunt in Tampa, as well as visiting a family friend down in Bradenton for a few hours. Ergo, my brother and I wound up in the backseat of a Pontiac G6 sedan, driving down I-75 in near-perfect weather. During that drive, my mother had on 101.5 FM, at the time an 80s Oldies station that called itself “The Point”. (For those wondering, it has since reformatted to Top 40 “Hot 101.5”.)

And one song that I recall hearing during that ride? “Heart of Glass” by Blondie.

In retrospect, that was probably my own introduction to “New Wave” music. It was a disco song that felt just different enough to differ from other disco songs that I had heard earlier. (I was an odd child. I am an even more odd adult.) Nowadays, I would consider disco and 80s Alternative to be two of my favorite musical genres, so the fact that “Heart of Glass” stuck out in my mind was probably a subconscious harbinger of the direction in which my own personal musical tastes would evolve. But more importantly… it just sounded so good! Perfect music to cruise down a highway to, now and forever.

Every time I hear “Heart of Glass”, it is forever entwined in my mind with the state of Florida, with that trip, with Tampa, with that stretch of interstate. It is in the upper echelon of my list of childhood memories, a moment, a connection I hope not to forget for quite a while. And it’s not the only pop song to elicit such feelings in me – there are songs that I associate for every moment, every period in my life.

It probably also explains why I find “The Crystal Car” such a fascinating episode, even if others are more powerful to the overall narrative.

But first, an intro. The theme of this season is rationalizing events and phenomena in our lives from the mundane to the radical, the predicted to the arbitrary. More specifically, it takes that mindset and is spending every episode explaining why relying strictly on that mindset is foolish and occasionally detrimental.

It’s a deconstruction that hasn’t quite reached Tulip Olsen’s psyche yet. It’s nipping at her toes, but even at the start of this episode, she’s started to rationalize the train’s patterns of behavior. More specifically, it’s how it plays into the changing number that’s imprinted itself on her hand. What it exactly means, she’s starting to gather. It went down when she assisted with the Corgi Car, so she’s now under the assumption that acting morally is her path off of the eternal locomotive.

That’s not necessarily untrue, at least at first glance. Tulip in her first few episodes has come off as a somewhat selfish character, focused on her own path off of the train, the clearest path from Point A to B, damn most others. The events involving Randall and the Corgi Car appeared to rebut that concept of the self – that while she sacrificed her apparent clearest way forward in the former, helping rebuild the Corgi Car in the latter appeared to help her number go down. Note the word appeared, as in doing so, she recognized that trying to force progress can be detrimental to one’s development. (Ergo, her somewhat more passive approach to deciphering her number at the start of this episode.)

While overcoming her own selfish attitudes is certainly progress, it’s not the underlying factor as to why she’s on the train. After all, we are not defined by one simple and solitary trait or idea. In a way, this show serves to enforce the concept of narrative character development, mandating multidimensional identities and motives for our protagonists. (Yes, even Simon from Season 3 has some nuances that will keep him a fascinating antihero for years to come.)

Ergo, she’s starting to track down the path out. But it’s still obscured by her mindscape being a kudzu forest, overgrown with redundant and crude defenses against emotional responses. Things remain unclear, deeply unclear, and she’s trying to rationalize every single aspect of her life in a way that dodges the core issues, that of her past.

Hence, the events in the Crystal Car.

I’m going to be frank, this is not at the top of my favorite cars in terms of serving as a setting. I just think the worldbuilding in this particular case was placed secondary to the character development. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, just something to take note of – showing how the writers sort their priorities per script. Some cars have excellent and immersive worlds (“The Corgi Car”, “The Beach Car”, even “The Unfinished Car” and “The Chrome Car”); this is merely “neat”.

Still beautiful, though. There are some clever hints at a deeper world, one that is ironically less “advanced” and more “natural” in contrast to, say, The Corgi Car with its classical elements or The Beach Car with its depiction of a bartering economy. What the Crystal Car lacks in apparent organization, however, it makes up for in sheer magic.

The issue is simple – the door to this car is locked and out of Tulip’s reach. The apparent supremo of the car, Greige, informs the trio (via mime this time around) that the steps to the cabin have been stolen by the Steward – that weird-ass spider thing we saw in “The Corgi Car” – and that the path out involves touching a magic crystal and singing an emotional song while doing so. Plot twist – the crystal only recognizes human languages, so Corginian chants and dial-up tones are out of the question. Step up, Tulip, for it is time to expose yet another aspect of your emotional side.

And the question is… what is the song?

Now, here’s where the episode connects to me.

Tulip has thus far spoken to me as a character – the attempts to focus on the superego, trying to portray the facade of stoicism, the sheer nerdiness (even if mine is less scientifically inclined). But this feels like an episode that has a rather direct appeal to me – the power of popular music and how songs can infiltrate into one’s mind, how they can infiltrate the broader canon, and how Tulip might be a pop music enthusiast in her own right.

As I might have hinted and implied from time to time, I quite like listening to pop music. My favorites are songs from the 1970s and 1980s, but my tastes are not particularly restrained to any one genre or era, even if I have some broadly preferred genres – synthpop, disco, new wave, and classic rock. I even took a class on the History of Rock and Roll for music credits while I attended my local community college. I keep in my mind a loose and theoretical list of my 100-odd all-time favorite songs, a list that stretches back to the British Invasion and has records from as recent as 2020 (looking at you, “Blinding Lights”) on it.

So to see Tulip deliver lyrics that are known for providing emotional connections to so many people? Well, that was just fascinating to watch, at least for myself. Cinematic power ballads you’d hear from Celine, R&B crooners in the style of Vandross and Carey, manufactured pop that would be a step above Milli Vanilli, gothic rock breakup songs, you name it, Tulip’s got it in her own pop psyche, now tuned into Emotion 98.3. Classic tearjerkers, or as close as one can get without driving music lawyers spare and having them shake HBOMax and/or Owen Dennis up for rights fees.

But are they her songs? She knows of them, she knows about them, and odds are she loves at least some of them, but does she connect with them in a particular way? Again, she’s using objective obstacles to try and reach a conclusion that requires subjective analysis. It’s sort of her fatal flaw here, and it gets her nowhere. Of course, that doesn’t necessarily mean that an emotional song can’t be personal. After all, many acclaimed “emotional” songs are based, in part, on the experiences of the songwriters behind such works.

For example, longtime readers of this blog might be aware that I am a huge fan of the Pet Shop Boys – they are my favorite pop music act. Further, I would cite their 1990 single “Being Boring” as one of my all-time favorite songs, if not my single all-time favorite. The song was influenced by Neil Tennant’s reflections on his youth and his ascendancy to pop stardom, all while many other gay men his age (including some of his friends) fell victim to the AIDS pandemic. But the lyrics are expressed in a way that can be read universally, speaking on embracing the evolution we take from our carefree youth while also lamenting loved ones who have drifted away or died in the meantime. I’ve always loved the song, but more from a technical level – such brilliant production and fantastic lyrics. But as I get older and past settings are increasingly relegated to nostalgia, “Being Boring” and its broader meaning resonates more with me personally.

But that’s just my own perspective. While many Pet Shop Boys fans cite this song among their own personal favorites, the human experience as a whole is full of different perspectives and opinions. Everybody has their own opinion for their favorite song, favorite artist, and a path to finding a song that connects with them. Hell, I’d argue that other songs from other artists connect more with me on a personal level, songs that I associate very personal experiences with. “Being Boring” just combines brilliant and poignant lyrics with phenomenal production to create an incredible piece of pop that sticks out to me.

Hence, Tulip’s current predicament. She’s tracked down a bunch of interesting songs that have surely moved somebody, songs that likely have a solid place in the pop pantheon for whatever reason. But she’s not looking at it from a deeply personal level. In fact, she tries to dodge the issue entirely by making her own ladder… only to find out that the door is locked shut. Ah, the puzzles are now forcing their hand for Tulip – the train, as we now know, is sentient in some way, deliberately pushing her in a certain direction for psychological reform.

It appears to mandate reform of the self, enforcing it through whatever means are necessary. The train appears to be intensive therapy. Books 2 and 3 will reveal that some do find a loophole to escape, but with a great cost.

And what is Tulip’s own personal discovery, what is the song that she feels a deep personal connection to? Well, it turns out she was overthinking it – it can very well be the first song she thinks of inherently. Dragging herself back to the Crystal, she reflects on songs that connect with her personal memories. And the first natural memory that comes to her mind, the one that spouts organically, is the idea of taking a road trip with her family.

Cue a combination of bass and synthesizers. Tulip wants a do-over, embarrassed as all hell, but the train won’t take no for an answer. With this, she finds herself diving into 80s post-disco…

…”Word Up!”

First off, yes, that is Geordi LaForge trying to arrest Cameo in the “Word Up” music video.

Second… this is the funniest moment in the Infinity Train canon, and it’s no slouch in the “brilliance” department. The first time you watch this, the sheer twist of this piece of 80s funk being the song that Tulip so deeply connects to is sure to throw you for a loop, especially when she starts singing the song through her teeth.

But looking at it a step beyond, it becomes a great twist, one that doesn’t necessarily rely solely on the subversion of expectations. I mean, this song does have an emotional connection, but it’s meant for Tulip and Tulip specifically. A moment of genuine happiness, a moment seemingly untainted by the worries of the present, of self-doubt, of self-loathing. A time of freedom, a time of innocence. And what better song to represent that than a dance song seemingly about doing nothing but partying? Hey, “Heart of Glass” was about getting your heart broken by somebody you thought was your true love, so Tulip’s road trip song was a lot more apropos than mine was.

To the listener, “Word Up!” is as close to a musical id as you can get. I could try and dissect it for the purposes of this episode… but if Infinity Train has taught me anything, dissecting everything all the time can be detrimental to one’s health.

Hence why I’m trying to do it for this series. God help me.

The point is, Infinity Train is going a bit more straightforward and mellow this time around. We can enjoy things simply because of how fun they are. We don’t need to rationalize every decision, every one of our tastes, the entirety of our mindscapes. And who cares if some of our favorites could be looked at as peculiar? I know I have many songs that I forever associate with certain moments and periods in my life, ranging from the silly to the apropos.

Simply put, embrace fun. Enjoy the ride. because that’s what you will look back on. Whether that road is in the Midwest or in Florida, no matter what type of pop music is in your car, from the disco era to funk to moving synthpop, memories will form and will be triggered by the simplest of things. And you’ll get a piece of idealism to take with you to the future.

And Tulip finally embraces that idealism, getting deep into the song and convincing the Crystal Car – the Crystal Giant, more specifically – to let her and the gang out. They’ve passed the test. But why, in fact, was such a memory repressed? It’s not just the somewhat campy nature of the song. It feels like Tulip was somewhat reluctant to focus on this past event. Her parents and herself on a road trip? Clearly, the trauma of the divorce has manifested in her brain, and she’s unable to focus on happier times involving them due to the mess that the duo are in as of late. At the very least, the pain of the present has clouded the past.

What is going on? Well, the Cat is gonna be back in the next episode, and we’ll get some answers there. And Tulip’s issues are far from resolved. But this ride is just as brilliant now as it was in the seemingly halcyon time of August 2019. This episode, while certainly lighter than others, is still quite a fun ride.

Some things do hold up well, even after a year of COVID-fueled lunacy. The memories here hold up.

Tidbits:

• The Italy Car plays a minor role, but yet again, it underscores the sheer limitless potential that this show’s story engine has. In a way, this show is really Doctor Who meets Gravity Falls meets The Prisoner.
• Ah, the Ballad of Mustard and Stink-tail. I love how this episode pays a bit of tribute to the car that started it all by developing that universe a bit more after we’ve left that pivotal cabin. It won’t be the last time such an event happens, but it does reflect well on Atticus as a character, his intellectualism, and his reverence for culture.
• Sadly, outside of “Word Up”, the songs which are used in this episode are knock-offs of the real things. An HBOMax/Cartoon Network budget can only take you so far.
• Love how One-One’s personal song is a dial-up modem.
• “If this were the Scientific Odyssey Trials, this would not win an award – not even for “Best Last Ditch Effort.”” – Tulip. That has meme/review potential.
• Oddly enough, this was the second time in a month that pop music was licensed for use in an animated series. In July 2019, Amphibia’s Season 1 finale – “Reunion” – scored its climax to the 70s soul classic “Lean on Me”. Let’s just say it’s a deeply moving scene. Tying that fact in with this episode’s theme, I actually remember watching the episode on the Disney Channel – two days after it premiered – while I was on a plane from LaGuardia to Charlotte. That scene was enough to secure my love of that show.
• One of my favorite internet reviews is music humorist/commentator Todd in the Shadows. He actually did an entire video on Cameo and their status as something approaching “one-hit wonder” on the American Pop Charts with “Word Up!” Personally, I gravitate more towards “Candy” and “Back and Forth” – the latter more for its association with Grand Theft Auto V.
• And lastly… yes. You read that right. Book 4. Hell. Yes.

Wrap-Up:

Favorite Scene: Come on, Tulip singing “Word Up”.

Freakiest Scene: This episode is probably the lightest in the whole Infinity Train canon. Does not apply.

Memorable Quote: Please insert the first verse to “Word Up” here.

Bottom Line: Even when going lighter and softer, Infinity Train still manages to tell a fascinating piece of character comedy, and a deeply relatable episode, at least to this writer.

Ranking: “The Crystal Car” enters the list at #3, behind “The Corgi Car” and displacing “The Beach Car”. These are all great at least, though, so this is more splitting hairs. I don’t expect this episode to sit too high in the rankings as the rest of the series is reviewed, but that’s not a bad thing. When an episode like this is not expected to sit in the top 10, you’re dealing with quite the series.