Steven Universe Review: “Rocknaldo” (Season 4, Episode 17)

“I DECLARE WAR ON WHOLE MILK!”

“It’s not the strangest house guest we’ve had.” – Pearl. I’m going to counter that despite almost flushing herself down the bowl and almost beating Pearl up with a robot, Peridot was far saner than Ronaldo. 

Airdate: February 24th, 2017

Written By: Hilary Florido and Jesse Zuke (Credited as Lauren Zuke)

Plot: Steven takes a tad bit of offense when he reads one of Ronaldo’s pamphlets concerning the Crystal Gems. Said pamphlets contain lies and libel, and Steven sets the record straight to the conspiracy theorist. Unfortunately, this backfires, as Ronaldo decides to express his remorse… by joining the Crystal Gems!

Review:

“Rocknaldo”…

…oh, “Rocknaldo”.

I don’t think any installment of Steven Universe has attracted as much vitriol from the fandom as “Rocknaldo” has. It has arguably displaced “The New Lars” as the least liked episode of the series. That outing, admittedly, has gotten some reappraisal after the start of Season 5 re-contextualized Lars’s arc. (Even my sentiment on it improved slightly over the years, albeit not quite enough to keep it out of my personal bottom tier.) “Rocknaldo”, though, hasn’t been so fortunate. It is the lowest-rated installment of the show on IMDB by a healthy margin, is probably the largest factor in Season 4 being the only season to decline in fan ratings as it progressed, and even fans tend to be sour on this episode.

But there is something, well, a bit peculiar to my eyes. In some fandoms, there are episodes whose mere mention will evoke revulsion. Speak of “Saddlesore Galactica”, “Profit and Lace”, “Threshold” or “Dimensions in Time”, and you’ll track down scores of forum posts, blogs, and videos tearing these episodes to shreds, with very few defenders to rescue them. Eventually, a broad consensus comes around to regard these episodes as warnings for future installments or fan concepts.

I don’t see that with Steven Universe in quite the same way. The most analyzed and divisive episodes tend to have as many adherents as they do detractors. The most hated episodes… well, they’re often ignored, earning mild grumblings of discomfort more than anything. And I think that’s because, at least in my opinion, Steven Universe‘s weakest episodes don’t have that enjoyability factor – the show never quite hits “so bad, it’s good”. One can find plenty to perversely laugh at regarding lizard evolution, Jockey Elves, or a Time Lord running through Albert Square*. Not so much with Lars getting spit on by society or “Onion Gang”. Steven Universe generally has a high batting average, and I would argue for my top 5 episodes of the show (all together) being among my favorite TV installments of all time. But that makes the show’s substandard outings that much more painful.

With that in mind, it is worth noting that even “Rocknaldo” has a fair few defenders, some of whom appreciate what they see as a broad and appropriate social commentary. And those defenses do have merit, not coming from an aura of contrarianism but from an analysis of the show’s themes and how reviewers see them applicable to the episode overall.

I don’t consider myself one of those defenders. “Rocknaldo” is the most irritating episode of Steven Universe I can recall.

As the title indicates, this episode revolves around Ronaldo Fryman. And yes, I did hear you groan. While individual episodes (yes, even this one) are generally debated by the fanbase, Ronaldo Fryman is almost universally considered the show’s bete noire. In a show where almost every character has some form of pathos or common decency, any attempts to give Ronaldo this appear to have backfired. It’s to the point where he’s more despised than Kevin or Marty, the show’s resident misogynistic narcissists. Even the Diamond Authority, divisive as they are as antagonists and pretty vicious antagonists at that, engender less universal loathing than Ronaldo – those characters at least have a more tragic aura to their behavior.

Hell, I think more people will go to bat for Onion before Ronaldo. He’s at least an eccentric force of nature, and there are side gags that make him an amusing comic character. It’s just that episodes revolving around him have a poor batting average. Ronaldo? He’s almost always played seriously as a character, not as an eccentric in the world around. He’s somebody that we could know, and that’s what makes him less amusing. He hits closer to home. Also, the writers were able to successfully craft pathos for Onion on occasion. Ronaldo? “Restaurant Wars” made him pathetic for comedy, so it’s clear that the writers don’t want us to feel anything for this git. Plot twist – this is a “lesson” episode for Ronnie!

Already, this episode has quite a bit it has to overcome.

And then it starts! Ronaldo is hacking his pamphlets featuring his research. Alright, this isn’t too bad in theory – from producing full-blown videos, our conspiracy theorist is now back to old-school pamphlet donating on the streets of Beach City. Steven picks up one of these pamphlets, because apparently getting kidnapped by the clown wasn’t enough to warn him that the guy is legitimately nutso. Dear god, Steven, you are the most forgiving man on the planet! At the very least, he is disappointed at Ronaldo’s “research”, which at this point has descended into downright farce.

How to Protect Yourself Against Rock People. Complete with accusations related to aliens adding mind-controlling minerals to the water and misandry. Insert your own joke about water giving rise to homosexual amphibians here.

Steven is naturally rather salty about this and confronts Ronaldo. His defense is that he wasn’t talking about the Crystal Gems, but rather, the other Gems they fought. It’s implied that he’s trying to walk back this accusation of libel, or at the very least, is so incoherent in how he presents his “research” that he could paint the Gems with broad strokes. Once Ronnie realizes that he threw Steven under the bus, he breaks down and enters a period of self-pity. Again, I guess that’s a stab at other conspiracy theorists who tend to double-down on their beliefs after being confronted – in contrast, Ronaldo is so stunned that he appears to shut everything the hell down… and reboots himself in the most narcissistic way possible.

There are good elements in this first part. There’s a riff at the narcissistic tendencies of many conspiracy theorists, the pathetic nature of their “research”, and how they present their facts can do harm to individuals, and possibly even societal groups. Further, while some conspiracy theorists have become cultural icons (Alex Jones and whoever that “Q” idiot is, anybody), many just languish in relative obscurity, hoping to break through with one major “truth” that propels them into the mainstream. So it’s promising enough, even with Ronaldo being the most irritating entity in Beach City.

And then he decides to join the Crystal Gems… and that’s where this episode becomes a chore to sit through.

For one, there’s a big issue with this episode, and it’s the same problem I had with “The New Crystal Gems”. This episode is filler. In Season 4. But at least that episode had a rather interesting broad concept – how would Connie work as the main character, and how would Lapis and Peridot work as Crystal Gems? Also, what happens when the show’s POV shifts away from Steven? Further, Connie, Lapis, and Peridot are insanely likable and relatable characters, and one could even argue they’re more loved by the fandom than our hero!

Not only is this episode a bog-standard Townie, but Ronaldo is irritating. Occasionally amusing, but generally frustrating. Eleven minutes of him? Again, it can work in theory. Here, it just doesn’t.

Second, this episode seems to center around the idea that nobody is interested in what the Crystal Gems do. In a vacuum, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, as the Crystal Gems, when they do go into Beach City, are generally treated as a nuisance at worst. But it does make me wonder, could this show have explored a world beyond the events of Gemkind and Beach City? We get hints of it, but surely even contemporary events in this universe have something to do with the Crystal Gems and Gemkind. I love this show and I love Homeworld, but there are elements of worldbuilding regarding Earth that could’ve gone a bit deeper/

I mean, this show’s contemporary, Star vs. the Forces of Evil, had some interesting worldbuilding, even if the series ultimately rivaled Game of Thrones in alienating fans in its last few episodes. It really makes me wonder how much this show left on the table. You can explore America beyond Steven and the Crystal Gems without removing the POV; you don’t have to suddenly write a side-story on what the President thinks about these aliens on the East Coast!

Speaking of which, thirdly, this episode quickly trails off into a “message” episode. And this argument might confuse some readers, so let me explain.

I’ve maintained that Steven Universe is the Star Trek of the 2010s partially on account of it being able to address societal concerns in a science fiction setting, generally coming down on the liberal side of these philosophical and societal issues. That said, Steven Universe has generally done well to use allegory to address broader societal concerns, even if some of the allegories aren’t too subtle to older audiences. (I should, however, once again disclose that I myself fall more on the liberal side of the political spectrum, so that likely increases my tolerance. Your mileage might vary.) Even with the messages, it always seemed like the show paid attention to a story, made it so that it was at least entertaining with fascinating characters.

This episode is the exception that proves the rule. It is pretty damn obvious that this episode is going for a message, and wants you to know it, and damn any likability that characters might have. What message is that, you might ask?

Well, this episode can be read in two ways. One way is societal, the other is meta. Incidentally, one way is rather well-intentioned and only falters in execution due to the aforementioned issues. The other makes this come off as a finger to a portion of the audience in the show’s most derided episode. But one is my own personal longshot theory, while the other is more likely.

Interpretation 1: “You’re just a guy with a blog!”

Some readers here might be familiar with “Saddlesore Galactica”, an episode from Season 11 of The Simpsons. It might be the single most hated episode of the entire series. For the uninitiated, there are a couple of scenes in this episode featuring Comic Book Guy snarking about the repetitive nature of this plot, a sort of wink to fans who accused the show of growing stale. Homer’s response in the first instance? “Does anybody care what this guy thinks?” “NO!” That probably wouldn’t have been so critiqued… but this episode also featured “Jerkass Homer” getting chased down by cannibalistic jockeys who just so happen to be elves. “Saddlesore” is widely considered the most outlandish episode of the entire series, and a milestone in the show’s decline – that the writers were aware of fan complaints and mocked them in an episode that embodied every negative aspect of the show’s decline.

I can’t help but draw comparisons between that episode and “Rocknaldo”. Now, to be fair, “Rocknaldo” was more a blip that can be overlooked while “Saddlesore” confirmed a pattern. Also, there were some rather notorious incidents involving a small minority within the Steven Universe fandom, while the worst you could say about Simpsons fans is that a few of them whined about “Cape Fear” on alt.tv.simpsons. So in a way, this episode is more justifiable.

But this episode is still quite interesting to analyze from this angle. Ronaldo is denied from going on a Crystal Gem mission – understandable given Pearl’s sheer disdain for the clown, but it’s yet another avenue of plot fascination utterly shut out. An average Joe working alongside the Crystal Gems, and their name isn’t Connie? That would’ve been rather interesting, an amusing way to show how Ronaldo’s ego gets challenged by fire. But, denied. It kind of smarts a bit – I know Rebecca Sugar was going for “reverse escapism”, but there are ways to go about that within the realm of combat scenes!

It does speak to a larger dynamic between fandom and the writers’ room… a bit of divide. Because there have been fans who critiqued the pacing and plotting of certain Steven Universe episodes and seasons, particularly with reference to the Townie episodes, myself included. Of course, there are also those fans that have been more obnoxious in their critique, including those who drove Jesse Zuke off the internet thanks to shipping. And if we take Ronaldo as an allegorical counterpart to the more obnoxious fans, we see the other angle this episode aims for.

With that in mind, fan critique is a very tricky thing to approach. As a writer, it can come off as a cynical exercise in rejection of constructive criticism. By having Ronaldo not go on adventures – a reference to the apparent over-reliance on “townies” that quite a few fans levy at this series – and instead having him come off as an entitled reactionary idiot, it can be taken as the writers getting a little defensive about their approach to storytelling and plotting by comparing their critics, even those that are critiquing in good faith, to clowns. For a series that celebrated peaceful debate and analysis in fandom in “Open Book”, this feels a bit more targeted.

Again, this is likely targeted more towards the nutso aspects of fandom, those aspects that have done damage to the show’s reputation by proxy. And mind you, I’ve taken quite a few self-deprecating stabs at the fandoms that I’m part of. (Come on, I’m a fan of classic Simpsons, Steven Universe, and Arsenal FC. They’re the Unholy Trinity of Stereotypically Obnoxious Fandoms.)

But the way this episode goes about these complaints, it leaves just a bit of play for my tastes. And for a show so optimistic, this feels a little cynical. Surprisingly so – and that’s saying something, given that Season 3 had Steven fling someone into outer-space in self-defense.

That is, if this was the intent. Because I think the message of this episode is more benign and in tone with the Steven Universe ethos.

Interpretation 2: “I Speak for these Poor X’s, I Know What They Want, I Feel Their Pain, Now Give Me Silverware!”

This interpretation is the one cited by most of this episode’s defenders and apologists.

It highlights a certain type of figure or person that will claim to speak for or be a representative of a particular group while not necessarily being part of said group. This is particularly true with those that claim to be allies of societal minorities – the LGBT community, Blacks, Latinos, disabled people, you name it – but this can be applied to any collection of people. They often think of themselves as supporters, waving the flag for these groups, claiming to be a voice for those who have had their voice put to the side. However, at best they can come off as patronizing in their approach to their “allyship”. At worst? They come off as hypocrites, whose motives are suspect at best and who tend to make the issues facing that particular group all about themselves and their issues.

And their behavior can often cause rifts and alienation within these groups by proxy. Ronald tries to insert himself into the antics of the Crystal Gems, begins to alienate everybody, and serves as reputational and spiritual poison within the group. He also applies stereotypes as to what the Crystal Gems should do, particularly in Steven’s face – Steven being the least stereotypical Gem of all. And when called out on this, he takes offense and accuses the Crystal Gems of hypocrisy. This, despite his own odious and cynical behavior.

Ronaldo thinks he knows what the Crystal Gems want to prove, but does he actually know? Does he actually care? It’s all performative, all an attempt to make himself feel better, to stoke his own ego.

I sorta have to give Steven Universe props here. I mean, this type of behavior isn’t confined to one particular political ideology AT ALL, but to turn the heat on a few self-described liberals who embarrass their proclaimed activism with narcissism? Who don’t really give a damn? From one of the most (in)famously liberal shows of the 2010s? Surely a couple of the viewers watching this series wound up introspective about their behavior… or were so livid that they rage-quit the series and fandom.

If this was the intent, I give Steven Universe some respect for this idea. It’s not an absolution of this episode’s other flaws, but it’s an interesting explanation.

Of course, this episode can mean lots of things at the same time.

The Flaws That Haunt, High and Low

No matter my interpretation of events here, this episode still stings from the same underlying issues that make this outing a chore to sit through. It’s a townie in a time of heightening tension, thus disrupting the pace of the overall arc. Ronaldo is too unlikable, is on screen for too long, and Zach Steele… great VA, but he hits just the right note to make me want the character to get one of Pearl’s rare but biting jaw punches. The internal clock of this episode apparently spans for quite a while. Steven is willing to let Ronaldo get close to his “bubble” despite being kidnapped by the clown, a moment of naivete that stretches suspension of disbelief even for Steven!

Also, I feel like Ronaldo was mischaracterized a little here for the sake of commentary. He was always a conspiracy theorist, but his overall character fit in as just a typical member of Beach City. Here, he becomes something of a reactionary – besides the stereotypical assumptions he makes about the Crystal Gems, the breaking point for his role as a Crystal Gem includes a rather sexist accusation involving Connie only becoming one of the gang because she’s “Steven’s Girlfriend”. I’m not saying that these accusations aren’t hurled in real life – they are – but for Ronaldo to say this? It was never hinted that he held such chauvinistic views before. For him to do so really underscores my accusation that this episode was crafted with the message first, something that I never got in even “Back to the Barn”! (At least there was chauvinism baked into Peridot’s personality from early on.)

It’s like the writers were trying to make Ronaldo as deliberately unlikeable and as stereotypically “fanboy”-ish as possible. Just have him declare himself Pearl’s husband and propose to her, it would’ve reached Spaceballs levels of absurdity. (No, I lie – Spaceballs was far funnier.) In this episode, it comes off as grating. I’m getting flashbacks to latter-day Simpsons, where Ned Flanders’ religiousness was exaggerated into fundamentalist dogma just to make shots at the evangelical right and the Bush administration. It doesn’t feel like development to me, this just comes off as altering a character and his essence solely for cultural commentary. And given that Ronaldo was already a rather malign character in fandom, well, this doesn’t bode well. I honestly wanted somebody to punch him in the jaw by the third act. That’s not a good thing.

Even Steven has enough and tells the clown off. Steven. This might have had more impact if not for the sheer rage he felt in “Storm in the Room”, the episode prior. The emotion there is just perfect, three seasons of character development boiling over. I guess you could argue that experience made him more willing to voice his frustrations, but his sheer acceptance of Ronaldo at the start of this ordeal makes this ring a bit hollow. Like, he kidnapped you, you think that wouldn’t play into this dynamic?

But we have to end the episode somehow. “Fryrocko” passes out after a week without sleep, thus making me wonder if his increasingly odious behavior was due to a lack of sleep. Ah, who am I kidding – he always came off as a Jerkass Homer wannabe. A few more weeks pass… meaning we’ve apparently dedicated more in-story time to this madness than we did to Steven rescuing his dad from Homeworld. Season 4, people.

Anyway, Ronaldo attempts to apologize for his behavior, and announces that he made a far less patronizing and offensive pamphlet – “Crystal Gems: Who are They and How Can We Help”? It is an improvement, an attempt to rededicate himself as a genuine ally instead. Of course, his apology is full of narcissistic justifications and behavior, so I don’t think it really washes. I think back to “Back to the Barn” – Peridot didn’t really apologize for her own behavior in that episode, but she did make a grudging admission of Pearl’s abilities and concede that it was remarkable that she rose above her status on Homeworld.

This episode appears to be trying its hand at a parallel to an earlier encounter with Homeworld – this show has normally done so in reverse, having situations on Earth be mirrored or deconstructed by Steven’s interactions on Homeworld. But… Ronaldo was just too unlikable across the entire episode. We’ve spent too little time with him to try and humanize him, and this episode merely made me hate him even further. Peridot, at least, wasn’t initially malicious in her bigotry, and even before her development on that front, she was an entertaining antagonist forced to rebuild herself. Contrast with the pathetic egomaniac this episode centers on. What a difference… one builds on a major plot thread, the other detracts from it.

And I think that is what locks this episode in the depths of despair for me. Even by the standards of Townie episodes – some of which do have resonance or can flesh out Steven as a character – “Rocknaldo” is utterly redundant. Seriously, Ronaldo’s next major appearance is “Can’t Go Back”. I would argue you don’t need to watch this episode to get a pulse of his character in that one. Steven’s character? What do we discover here that we don’t in other episodes? Quite frankly, I don’t think any other episode does more to rebut the argument that every SU episode is essential as this one does.

Look, if you liked this episode, great. There is something there with regards to cultural commentary, and I get why people would relate to this outing. Message episodes are not new to Steven Universe.

But I’m sorry. “Rocknaldo”, to my eyes, is an absolute chore to watch. Revolving around such an unlikable character is risky enough, but “Drop Beat Dad” and “Beach City Drift” did so far more ably. They were both fun episodes, and they advanced character development. Social commentary? This is a poor man’s “Back to the Barn” and/or “Open Book”. Hell, as far as Ronaldo episodes are concerned, it’s a poor man’s “Rising Tides/Crashing Skies”. And it once again dumps any hopes of advancing the very interesting myth arc in favor of… this.

There’s little subtlety, no intrigue, no real plot development, an overabundance of cringe comedy (rarely Steven Universe‘s forte), dubious character development…it’s not fun. I don’t enjoy watching it, and it’s too deeply flawed for me to like it in any other way.

Tidbits:

• What probably did substantial damage to this episode’s reputation was how it was promoted. Cartoon Network, in the lead-up to the debut, announced the introduction of a new Gem entitled Bloodstone. Quite a few fans brought into this, and when events played out here, they weren’t pleased. Clearly, the network was targeting younger viewers… but wow. Imagine a seven-year-old tuning in, expecting to see a new member of this alien species, and instead, getting Ronaldo acting like a git. Would they trust this show again? I don’t know.
• Ronaldo’s crude accusation that Connie is only a Crystal Gem because she’s Steven’s “girlfriend”? Quite a bit has been made of how Steven doesn’t deny the accusation. That said, he also doesn’t confirm. Mind you, he was probably at the end of his tether emotionally. That said, the fact that Ronaldo selling Connie short was Steven’s breaking point? Let’s just say that says an unsurprising amount of Steven and Connie’s bond.

Wrap-Up:

Favorite Scene: Ronaldo passing the hell out… because he finally shut the hell up.

Best Character: Pearl gets this due to the sheer contempt she has for Ronaldo. I’m with you. In fact, the Crystal Gems and their varying states of antipathy to “Bloodstone” are the best things about this episode.

Memorable Quote: Implying that there is any dialogue that I remember from this episode.

Verdict: Fire Salt.

I watched this episode twice – once when it originally aired, the second time for this review. Neither time, it worked for me. I sincerely doubt there will be a third. Anything that could be enjoyed here was drowned out by botched characterization and a lackluster, if not annoying, plot.

The question remains… how bad is it? A part of me thinks it’s neck-and-neck for the title of “worst ever”. Its two competitors are “most regressed” “House Guest” and Season 4 stablemate “Onion Gang”. And again, bad Steven Universe isn’t even really bad in an enjoyable way. But… which is worse?

Well, let me put it this way. “Rocknaldo” squanders potential with such a haphazard execution and cringe comedy. But “Onion Gang” elicits almost no reaction from me. I’d almost rather be livid than bored. “House Guest”, meanwhile, is not only frustrating in how it writes Greg and impacts the plot, but is painfully cliche. “Rocknaldo”… yeah, joining a group and acting like a clown is sitcom-ish, but trust me, mis-writing Greg is a far worse sin than shifting Ronaldo into a stereotypical fanboy dude. (I almost want to write a “revisiting” post for “House Guest”, because man, the longer that episode sits, the more dated my original thoughts are.)

With that in mind, we go to the rankings. “Rocknaldo” enters the list at #114, behind “Fusion Cuisine” and just edging out “House Guest”. And kudos, meanwhile, to “Onion Gang”, which I feel confident in declaring the recipient of the Steven Universe Wooden Spoon. I don’t see any episode beating these three for the bottom spots, simply because (“House Guest” revisit aside) I am never watching either of these episodes ever again.

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*To be fair, “Dimensions in Time” was written for the BBC’s Children in Need appeal, a telethon which the BBC stations in the UK run every year. The actors involved gave their services to Children in Need, on the sole condition that the special never be rerun nor sold on video for profit. One poll dedicated to what version of Part II would be aired, in fact, raised over £100K. So at least some good came out of that special. Side note – the crossover with the dramatic and adult-oriented soap opera EastEnders? Probably a subtle burn at former BBC heads who rescheduled Doctor Who to run against ITV’s flagship series, soap dramedy Coronation Street – a move that effectively torpedoed the series.